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Old 11-29-2009, 11:30 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,227 posts, read 22,025,568 times
Reputation: 23996

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Is he still into me?

If you don`t want a future with this guy, then what diffrence does it make, if he is still into you or not?
I have a feeling that you do want him back. You want him to want you.
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Old 11-29-2009, 01:51 PM
 
Location: 2nd state in the union...
2,382 posts, read 3,948,545 times
Reputation: 1595
First of all, welcome to CD

I'm going to be blunt but I'm not saying it to be mean....continuing to be in contact with him just to boost your ego or get him to say something that will make you feel better about everything is a lot of very unnecessary game-playing on your part. If you want to try and reconcile with him, that's one thing. If you want to build him up just to break him back down...that's not the right way to go about it. All you're going to be doing is running around in a vicious circle.

And at the end of the day, do you really care what he thinks? You know how you feel and that's all that should matter.

If it were me and I didn't want to reconcile with the guy I would stop responding to his IM messages and keep moving on.......

Good luck!
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Old 11-29-2009, 07:21 PM
 
7 posts, read 13,679 times
Reputation: 10
I don't know. I talked to him today again and I guess I still want him back, but I wouldn't accept it ever.
And don't worry about the bluntness, thats why I am here right? For honest advices.

I guess I am still trapped in the past where everything was so smooth and ok.

Thank you very much
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Old 11-29-2009, 07:26 PM
 
Location: The High Seas
7,160 posts, read 12,774,885 times
Reputation: 11004
He's Just Not That Into You
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Old 11-29-2009, 07:44 PM
 
10,996 posts, read 11,158,902 times
Reputation: 8355
He wants to get laid. Thing is, that maybe you still do want him, like you stated, and might give him what he wants and then he'll move on leaving you to hold the batter. It might temporarily boost your ego, but he might also hurt you.
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Old 11-29-2009, 08:18 PM
 
23,989 posts, read 31,227,591 times
Reputation: 28666
Quote:
Originally Posted by AniaXX View Post
Maybe it would be a boost to my ego after those 2 months.
I expect that is exactly what it is. Good job seeing it for what it really is. Best to stay "moved on" I think.
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Old 11-30-2009, 12:18 AM
 
1,322 posts, read 2,081,362 times
Reputation: 1464
Quote:
Originally Posted by AniaXX View Post
Hey, all of you.
I am new here and I would really love to hear your opinions about this subject, as well as helping some of you if you are in some kind of a messed up situation.
*waves*
So, this is my problem:
We were together for a year and he was best bf I ever had and I knew he loved me ,I loved him too and it was kind of a love that we meant its gonna last forever (although 'forever' is like basis in any love story ).
But two months ago he broke up with me saying the love just disapeared. After that we didn't communicate for awhile. I missed him, but I thought thats best.And, I kind of moved on.
Recently, he started talking with me on the messengers and using words like: cute, sweet, sexy and etc.I know it's probably because he wants to be kind and stay friendly, but he makes me believe that he still wants me.
And I did love him, yes, but I realized we are different and the break up was the best thing to be done, although I miss him terribly at times.
But, for some reason I still want him and I still want to hear he wants me.
Do you think a (further) distance in the communication might make him realize he still loves me or makes him miss me?
And, why he is so friendly again?
*waves back* *gets hand caught in the ceiling fan* *gasps!*

Welcome to CD!

When you start to break things down into it's individual parts, you start to see things that you otherwise would not have seen:

  • You two were together for a year, but this was meant to be forever
  • He broke up with you and moved on. You moved on as well.
  • After being apart for some time, now he calls you and implies that he wants things back to "normal".
The key in all of this is that he said that "the love just disappeared".

Now, think in terms of a typical relationship. Two people meet and fall in love.. after they've been together for awhile then they start to get comfortable with one another. Once they get comfortable, then a lot of the "newness" of the relationship dissipates. At this point, either one of two things happen. Either the couple separate because one person feels as if the spark is gone, or the couple stays together, and works on building their relationship stronger.

Does any of that sound familiar?

Thing is, I think that he was into you at the start.. Then, once the excitement wore off - he won the game, there was no challenge left - then he mistakes that for a lack of love. So, he went out looking for someone else - a new game to play, so to speak. But, during all of this time, either he couldn't find someone, the person that he found wasn't all they were cracked up to be, or he genuinely missed you.

Now, you're in a situation where he's back to chasing you again. Listen, it's the excitement that he's after, not the long term commitment. It's rare that, after one person breaks up with another, that things will ever go back to the way they used to be.

My advice overall: Forget about him, stop all contact, and get on with your life. You deserve someone who's going to be your "forever", and obviously he isn't it.

I wish you the best!
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Old 11-30-2009, 12:20 AM
 
1,322 posts, read 2,081,362 times
Reputation: 1464
Quote:
Originally Posted by wigirl920 View Post
First of all, welcome to CD

I'm going to be blunt but I'm not saying it to be mean....continuing to be in contact with him just to boost your ego or get him to say something that will make you feel better about everything is a lot of very unnecessary game-playing on your part. If you want to try and reconcile with him, that's one thing. If you want to build him up just to break him back down...that's not the right way to go about it. All you're going to be doing is running around in a vicious circle.

And at the end of the day, do you really care what he thinks? You know how you feel and that's all that should matter.

If it were me and I didn't want to reconcile with the guy I would stop responding to his IM messages and keep moving on.......

Good luck!
Now, THIS is good advice.

Wi, You're making a habit of this.. I keep getting a little annoying box that likes to yell at me when I try to rep ya..
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Old 11-30-2009, 05:59 AM
 
3,143 posts, read 2,961,178 times
Reputation: 3651
I think when you love someone it is very hard to let it go even after you know you should. There will always be a part of you that misses the other person and then you want to believe they feel the same. I remember in the past spending hours on the phone with my girlfriends trying to figure out why "he" did this or why he "didn't" do that but after its all said and done when "he" wanted to he did and when he didn't want to he didn't.
I think that if he is just IMing when he could be coming over, I would not get my hopes up but keep looking for the person out there that you don't need to ask advice about because he will show you and in your heart you will just "know".
My friends and I can laugh about it now, we say he didn't because he just didn't want to, lol, but I know you need that time to work your way through the whole thing.
Maybe yours will though, I hope so if you still want him too.
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Old 11-30-2009, 07:20 AM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
5,077 posts, read 12,733,525 times
Reputation: 3713
Welcome to CD!! Well, this is a case of you are easily swayed because it's familiar, you know what you expect, the relationship wasn't all bad but you don't realize you answered your own question... you broke up and then later realized it was for the best. Problem solved, if you realized it was the right thing to do once the break up was done, then that's what you need to stick with and not listen to all the sweet talk.
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