Guy alone at the bar; cool or fool?

[cpg35223]

Originally Posted by Inebriated Duck

You know, you're right for the most part, but it's funny you disparaged the PUA elements of his post but then wound up advocating them in the latter part of yours. Game, well, good game at least, is about presenting oneself in a non-threatening and casual manner that makes people feel at ease. Investing into a social situation is a sure way to make it less fun for all involved. Going into any social situation, especially one in which there are women to talk to, with minimal expectations except the expectation of having fun, is generally the right way to go.

I was pretty explicit about saying that I didn't go to a bar to pick up women. I talked about meeting people, which is an enormous difference. Never once picked up a girl in a bar and took her home because it just wasn't my style.

[Arlington-Guy]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

I was pretty explicit about saying that I didn't go to a bar to pick up women. I talked about meeting people, which is an enormous difference. Never once picked up a girl in a bar and took her home because it just wasn't my style.

I'll second both of you actually; the only objection I have is the pick-up comment, like what CPG acknowledged too.

Inebriated, I never said I was this big pimp who goes out solo all the time and "has great skill bedding women and writes about it."

I wasn't advocating pick-up stuff; in fact, if you read between the lines of my longer post, you might've sensed a little disdain for a lot of what the pickup stuff teaches.

The pickup stuff I'll agree with is the common sense stuff where anyone would say, "Well yeah, where's the surprise there?"

I mentioned it's a challenge. It can be downright tough for someone, where making friends doesn't come easily for him. And also previously mentioned, the cliquishness of the place makes a TON of difference.

Pickup material will tell you that that's all BS and in your head. Sure.....

But the absolutist view you have about a guy ever going into a bar, and looking like a creep; there's just no way that's reasonable. Big pimp or no pimp, I think CPG put it best, about: go out and have fun; don't have an objective in mind like that. That's right on par with your comment about "a strange thing happens when you're not looking, etc. etc."

While that may be a whole discussion of its own, since I don't completely subscribe to that kindergarten saying we're all taught growing up (in best Louis CK voice mocking childhood sayings taught by parents): "it'll happen when you least expect it" or "You'll meet her when you're not looking at all."

I've seen first hand, and certainly put in my time in this boat as well, where a guy isn't looking, he's simply living his life, going out to have fun as much as anyone else, and guess what? Nothing happens!