Guy alone at the bar; cool or fool? (dating, guys, singles)

[Ablees8951]

Speaking of going out alone though...

Sometimes I'll go out to lunch by myself with a good book or just because I'm hungry and on the go or whatever the reason, but when I have gone to eat by myself the waiters/waitresses have been incredibly rude about it!! Making comments like "ohhhhh so your eating alone???" But with attitude. I once had the hostest walk up to me and say "did you need something?" I said "well I'm standing in the spot that represents needing to be seated so yes, I would say I need a table and a menu please." She looked at me and said "but your alone." SERIOUSLY!?!?!? Is it a crime to eat alone?!??!?! GEEZE!!! lol

Anyways, I'm all about doing my own thing when I'd like. I dont always need company, but most people do I guess. Maybe thats why people find it akward that you want to go to a bar alone? Who knows! LOL

[WFW&P]

UB said it the best.
You can go to a bar/pub alone and be cool but alone in the club you'll look like a fool.
I wouldn't approach a group of girls in either setting due to pack mentality. If one or two views you in a negative manner (whether it is warranted or not) the others will follow. Its impossible to take on the entire pack. However if you can single one out and win her approval the pack may approve as well.

[Thaskateguy]

I met both of my wives in bars, but divorced them both in a "Court of Law"

[NeenaN]

Maybe I am freak and I know I always pick the wrong guys, but seeing a guy alone in a bar, it would tells me he is independent and he doesn't need his mates to go out.
Although, it would be sexy to me, I always imagine a (movie) situation when he is down sitting alone in a bar with his problems, I come,listen and he smiles falling for me.
I know I know -a movie scene.
But, I like them and I don't think they are fools or losers.

[mongoslade223]

Originally Posted by WFW&P

UB said it the best.
You can go to a bar/pub alone and be cool but alone in the club you'll look like a fool.
I wouldn't approach a group of girls in either setting due to pack mentality. If one or two views you in a negative manner (whether it is warranted or not) the others will follow. Its impossible to take on the entire pack. However if you can single one out and win her approval the pack may approve as well.

Thinkin' too much. Why the heck are you worried about what someone you don't even know thinks

You win some, you lose some. I have had nights where I am like, 0 for five, then come back next week with a pocket full of numbers or a makeout session or better.

See, reason guys who score at bars and clubs do it is because they are not thinking of all this BS, and "rejection" means nothing to them. Who gives a crap what anyone thinks

[NYLooking]

Go by yourself if no friends around.

The main thing is not solo/not-solo, it is how one looks. Dress like a low-life, act like a low-life, etc, and you probably will appear "creepy".

[MsRiss7383]

I think a guy has every right to go have a drink or two by himself without being judged. I am a girl and my husband travels a lot. I'll go to a bar and have a glass of wine to just get out and do some people watching. I've also gone to a sports bar alone to have a beer or two and watch some of my favorite football teams so I am not on the couch alone. I think a guy has a right to do the same with no judgement.

[HansProof]

I travel a lot and go out alone a lot of the time. It's made my people skills razor sharp. It is to the point where it doesn't even phase me, I mean I don't even think about it.

I've had people tell me, "Your going out.....alone?!"

"Yeah, why not. I'll make friends there."

"What? How do you do that?"

"Ahhh, I talk to people..."

[sophialee]

Stop caring so much what other people think OP and from your other threads it seems like you are really on the prowl to pick up a woman and I'm sure you're giving off a certain vibe, cuz I can sense it over the internet even. LOL.

[Brown Leather Jacket]

Originally Posted by miu

It depends on the guy, what he is wearing and why he is there, the bar and the time of day.

I have friends that travel a lot for business, so naturally they frequently go to bars and restaurants on their own. They just can't sit in the hotels rooms ordering room service. So they go down to the hotel bar or a local bar they've found through frequent regular visits, and hang out for a couple of drinks. Usually they would go in the early evening. If it's quiet, they strike up a conversation with the bartender or a person next to them. Maybe they watch the tv and talk about sports or the news. So then it sort of turns into a Cheers atmosphere. And with that, it's possible to talk to the occasional female. Maybe another person, someone traveling on business.

In my city, there are a couple of neighbourhood bars and people will head down there on their own. No biggie. And through the bartender or another regular, end up making more friends.

Otherwise, if the bar is geared more towards young single people, it's still possible to go in alone and make new friends. What's creepy is a guy expecting to score that night or get the promise of a date for a future evening right away that night. That sort of guy is too desperate. And it suggests to the women that he is not that picky about who he sleeps with. And he shouldn't be hanging around until closing either. That also smacks of desperation. He should just pass through as if he is expecting to bump into other friends, and exit after two drinks as if he had another place to go to. Of the women he meets, he should be friendly and charming, but not pushy. If they seem interested in him, he can stay and chat. But he has to know when the chat is played out. His best bet is a situation where he says he has to leave while she's really into him. And hopefully, she will then express an interest in seeing him again.

Anyway, the whole point is that a guy that is desperate for a hookup and willing to talk to any pretty girl that will give him the time of day just comes off as creepy. He can't seem to be looking at every good looking girl as a possible date. And once he talks with her, it has to seem to her that there's good natural chemistry between them, he can be trusted, and the way they connect is special and not a cookie cutter conversation that he has with every girl he talks to.

It's not like I went in expecting to have sex that night. I was just hoping to share a conversation over a drink with a girl or two, get a phone number or other contact information and meet up another time, perhaps later in the week. I don't see why that's so unreasonable or "desperate."

Also, how did I look like I was "not picky about who I sleep with," and "looking at every good looking girl as a possible date," when I only talked to one group of girls?

And how are they supposed to know if there is genuine chemistry if they don't even let you get past introductions?