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Old 03-04-2012, 12:47 PM
 
2,981 posts, read 3,597,732 times
Reputation: 3821
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
You're right they shouldn't have to actually do anything. Women should just lay down and spread and be happy you're even there (however temporary) in the first place.
Exactly! Finally, a woman who gets it!!
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Old 03-04-2012, 12:48 PM
 
18,868 posts, read 15,071,045 times
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^^don't think that way. Being alone is better than being in a relationship full of games and drama. I was there...and then was alone for the last 11 years, after being burned twice.
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Old 03-04-2012, 01:39 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,739 posts, read 4,711,007 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DrEarth View Post
Exactly! Finally, a woman who gets it!!
Sarcasm
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Old 03-04-2012, 04:19 PM
 
Location: Pa
33,211 posts, read 19,135,482 times
Reputation: 17625
Quote:
Originally Posted by himain View Post
Yes. I just restocked (again) my AA battery stash.
Buy alkaline batteries they last longer.
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Old 03-04-2012, 04:24 PM
 
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
647 posts, read 353,075 times
Reputation: 669
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
You're right they shouldn't have to actually do anything. Women should just lay down and spread and be happy you're even there (however temporary) in the first place.
You took that the wrong way apparently.

I think it goes both ways (for both men and women). No one should have a list of a hundred things they want in a mate and cross off everyone who doesn't satisfy the list. Yes, I'm exaggerating a bit, but I know plenty of people who think this way. There's almost ALWAYS going to be faults or quirks about someone that you may not like, but that doesn't mean it couldn't work out. Think of the show Seinfeld and why he and George were always single.

The fact is if you're waiting for the "perfect person", you will probably wait your entire life.
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Old 03-04-2012, 04:34 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,739 posts, read 4,711,007 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesthebass View Post
You took that the wrong way apparently.

I think it goes both ways (for both men and women). No one should have a list of a hundred things they want in a mate and cross off everyone who doesn't satisfy the list. Yes, I'm exaggerating a bit, but I know plenty of people who think this way. There's almost ALWAYS going to be faults or quirks about someone that you may not like, but that doesn't mean it couldn't work out. Think of the show Seinfeld and why he and George were always single.

The fact is if you're waiting for the "perfect person", you will probably wait your entire life.

I agree, no one should have a 100 item list for a potential mate but wanting someone decent is not wanting a prince charming or a fairytale. I don't know why guys say this about women's expectations. Again, I think it's because like I said, they think women should just be happy a man wants them. You also said a man shouldn't have to go through a checklist -- well excuse me! You all a bunch of criteria and will ditch a girl who doesn't make it past the the top 3: (Looks, how fast you will will hop into their bed & how much overall experience you have). I should know this...so I don't think women should have to just take something and not have a list of their own.

And yes, it's true there's always going to be things you don't like about the person b/c there's no perfect person.
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Old 03-04-2012, 04:52 PM
 
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
647 posts, read 353,075 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
I agree, no one should have a 100 item list for a potential mate but wanting someone decent is not wanting a prince charming or a fairytale. I don't know why guys say this about women's expectations. Again, I think it's because like I said, they think women should just be happy a man wants them. You also said a man shouldn't have to go through a checklist -- well excuse me! You all a bunch of criteria and will ditch a girl who doesn't make it past the the top 3: (Looks, how fast you will will hop into their bed & how much overall experience you have). I should know this...so I don't think women should have to just take something and not have a list of their own.

And yes, it's true there's always going to be things you don't like about the person b/c there's no perfect person.
That's untrue for some, maybe even a lot of men.

For example, I won't even touch a girl unless I know she's okay with it. It may have even cost me in the past. They may have thought I was not interested physically, when in reality I was just trying to respect any boundaries they may have towards that sort of thing, but they never asked me why I haven't tried to hold a hand, cuddle or cop a feel. Also, is this experience as in sexual experience? If that's the case, I actually hope they have less experience, but either way is fine with me. If she is uncomfortable with me getting physical, I am perfectly fine waiting for her to become comfortable before I do. I actually respect this more than someone who would rather me feel her up on the second date.

Out of curiosity, when you looked for men in the past, was it at bars or clubs?
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Old 03-04-2012, 05:57 PM
 
301 posts, read 151,469 times
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Yep..Me.

If you saw my thread in the "World" forums loljk. But I did give up, but the purpose of that thread is not exactly correlated to me being resigned to Forever alone status.
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Old 03-04-2012, 08:24 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,739 posts, read 4,711,007 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesthebass View Post
That's untrue for some, maybe even a lot of men.

For example, I won't even touch a girl unless I know she's okay with it. It may have even cost me in the past. They may have thought I was not interested physically, when in reality I was just trying to respect any boundaries they may have towards that sort of thing, but they never asked me why I haven't tried to hold a hand, cuddle or cop a feel. Also, is this experience as in sexual experience? If that's the case, I actually hope they have less experience, but either way is fine with me. If she is uncomfortable with me getting physical, I am perfectly fine waiting for her to become comfortable before I do. I actually respect this more than someone who would rather me feel her up on the second date.

Out of curiosity, when you looked for men in the past, was it at bars or clubs?

I think because you wouldn't touch the girl or pull the trigger as they say, those girls thought you weren't interested. That's a shame. If you're respecting their boundaries, that's fine but she wasn't giving you 'signals' either way? or you just decided it wasn't the right time/person?

Yes, I was talking about sexual experience and over all dating experience. They will write you off if a woman has too little or too much of either, you can't But the exception is if you' show you want to get 'experience' from them, then it's a different story! But they don't want a long term they just want to 'break a person in' I seen it time and again. I'm like, no thanks, I'll have to pass. Now I don't bother anymore at all. Obviously if they were genuinely interested, I'd have found that out by now, LOL.

Sorry but the males say a lot of what you said like: "I'm willing to wait until she's comfortable, etc" but it just does not pan out that way IRL. I tried several things with no results: going up and flat out cornering the males and asking, this was a disaster, but what people told me to do, be proactive. I tried bars/clubs, lots of drunk slobs. Also, online dating, sex trolls or either they cut you loose when they figure out you're not going to put out in a timely manner....I tried joining things with men in the classes, no dice. What have you tried and what do you say when you approach them? What do you want them to say when the approach you?
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Old 03-04-2012, 09:05 PM
 
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
647 posts, read 353,075 times
Reputation: 669
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
I think because you wouldn't touch the girl or pull the trigger as they say, those girls thought you weren't interested. That's a shame. If you're respecting their boundaries, that's fine but she wasn't giving you 'signals' either way? or you just decided it wasn't the right time/person?

Yes, I was talking about sexual experience and over all dating experience. They will write you off if a woman has too little or too much of either, you can't But the exception is if you' show you want to get 'experience' from them, then it's a different story! But they don't want a long term they just want to 'break a person in' I seen it time and again. I'm like, no thanks, I'll have to pass. Now I don't bother anymore at all. Obviously if they were genuinely interested, I'd have found that out by now, LOL.

Sorry but the males say a lot of what you said like: "I'm willing to wait until she's comfortable, etc" but it just does not pan out that way IRL. I tried several things with no results: going up and flat out cornering the males and asking, this was a disaster, but what people told me to do, be proactive. I tried bars/clubs, lots of drunk slobs. Also, online dating, sex trolls or either they cut you loose when they figure out you're not going to put out in a timely manner....I tried joining things with men in the classes, no dice. What have you tried and what do you say when you approach them? What do you want them to say when the approach you?
I'm not the greatest at picking up signals. I would assume a good signal to this would be if she were to start touching, be it a playful slap on the shoulder, holding hands or whatever.

It doesn't matter to me if it pans out or not really, that's just how I am. I don't want to disrespect anyone, especially someone I'm dating. If she takes it as me not interested and doesn't bother talking to me about it, I guess that's just how it's going to roll. But I'm not going to try to cop a feel just because it's the "man thing to do."

Really, I'm horrible at approaching women. I have before, but I'll turn every shade of red and it just makes it awkward. I just try to start a conversation, anyway possible. It's worked some, it hasn't worked some. A lot of the time now I just sort of do the "blind date" thing where a friend or family will hook me up with their friend or family. That way, we're both uncomfortable, LOL. Either that or we message each other online and talk like that for a bit, then maybe get some phone conversations going and then set a date if we both seem to be interested. That makes the date more comfortable, at least for me. I was thinking of trying online, albeit skeptical. I came across some girl's profile the other day and I was thinking of messaging her.

I would say if someone were to approach me, they just try with some small talk and just seem interested in me. Exchange names, numbers, even some playful banter is good for me. They definitely don't have to jump through any hoops for me. I'm easily pleased/entertained. I would be completely flattered and excited to be approached anyway. I think I'm a decently good looking guy really, but I haven't been approached by a female since I was eighteen. I would most likely give them a chance for us to get to know each other if they approached me, unless I were dating already or in a relationship.

Last edited by lovesthebass; 03-04-2012 at 09:13 PM..
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