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Old 03-05-2012, 12:14 PM
 
Location: VA -> CO -> VA again
5,105 posts, read 3,222,987 times
Reputation: 9048
I feel like giving up. I've had some awful relationships and a few pretty significant heartbreaks. It's hard to keep putting yourself out there after so much disappointment.

It seems like there are always silly games involved in dating. The other person waits for you to contact them or vice versa...things start out fast and then fizzle...I dunno, always something.

I honestly don't expect prince charming to ride up on a white horse and give me a happily ever after, but it would be nice to meet an honest guy who makes me a priority and puts effort into spending time and growing our relationship besides wanting a booty call.
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Old 03-05-2012, 08:35 PM
 
Location: PNW
526 posts, read 227,981 times
Reputation: 194
I was married twice, both times for over 6 years and neither worked out. To say that it was solely their fault the marriage didn't last would be petty and foolish so I will not do that. It takes two.

So as of now I've have been separated for going on three years from my second ex, and in all that time I have not even made an attempt to date or even look at men when I am out walking, shopping or doing other activities. I tend to my kids and myself and lead a very calm, mostly happy existence. I find myself missing the male touch/companionship every so often but it's a fleeting feeling and nothing I can't bear.

So I guess you could glean from this that I have given up.
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Old 03-05-2012, 08:54 PM
 
1 posts, read 664 times
Reputation: 10
Wink Hopefully you've found some real relationships by now

Davie:
I see this post was LONG ago. I just joined tonight, so dunno how it all works. I DO KNOW how "relationships" work. To have a REAL one, takes time, commitment and best to find the person in a work/school/social situation and let friendship "evolve" first..and see if you even LIKE the person that lurks beneath the "pretty" shell.

You have a pretty shell, but as you know what's on the outside isn't always on the inside. You are YOUNG...and I lived in Vegas once also..I'm SURE you have found relationships longer than 3 weeks by now!

All good things take time, and in time good things will happen. True saying.
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Old 03-06-2012, 02:03 AM
 
399 posts, read 343,307 times
Reputation: 387
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tellum View Post
Davie:
I see this post was LONG ago. I just joined tonight, so dunno how it all works. I DO KNOW how "relationships" work. To have a REAL one, takes time, commitment and best to find the person in a work/school/social situation and let friendship "evolve" first..and see if you even LIKE the person that lurks beneath the "pretty" shell.

You have a pretty shell, but as you know what's on the outside isn't always on the inside. You are YOUNG...and I lived in Vegas once also..I'm SURE you have found relationships longer than 3 weeks by now!
Not to be pessimistic, but I wouldn't be so sure at all. Several others posters have been around here those 3 years or longer, and still haven't found anyone.
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Old 11-13-2012, 03:41 PM
 
30 posts, read 31,711 times
Reputation: 65
The last girl that I tried for was back in college, about 20 years ago. I had been trying for her for almost a year when someone suggested that for Sweetest Day, that I send her a card, a rose, and a bottle of wine. Not wanting to come on too strong, I said on the card that I cared about her, that if she needed to talk to, I'd be there. I really figured that she'd at least say something along the lines of "Thank you, but I only want to be friends". But NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! She sent me a letter saying, and I quote ad verbatim, "I do not have the feelings for you that you have for me. I do not wish for you to send me any kind of mail, nor to call me, nor to visit my apartment". HUH? I try to be nice to her and show her some appreciation, and she acted like I was the Goddamn Bogeyman!

I kept hoping that whatever caused her to write that letter the way she did would somehow be straightened out and that we'd somehow bury the hatchet, but we never did, even though she certainly never had any reason to fear me.

I had had 15 years of failures with women before I met this girl, but this rejection continues to plague me to this day. I have not tried for anybody since, and I'm not going to, because there's absolutely no way that I can go through that again. If there's nobody out there for me, then there's nobody out there for me. Nothing I do or say can or will change that any more than I can hope to change the Law of Gravity. I'd be a certified fool to think otherwise, and a complete emotional masochist to even think about trying for anyone again, after what I went through.

I saw on the alumni website a few years ago that she'd gotten married, and I certainly wish the best for her, even if she doesn't wish so for me. I've tried to forget about her and move on, but it's proven to be like trying to raise the Titanic with a thumbtack.

Counseling? I've been there, tried that, and it didn't do any good. Basically, I've come to the conclusion that counseling is the most useless profession on the planet. All they do is ask a bunch of questions that not only are none of their business whatsoever asking, but usually have no bearing whatsoever to the issue you're seeing them about, then give you a bunch of ****ty advice that isn't worth the breath it's spoken with.

As for dating services, I see no reason why I should pay some scam artist $100 that I don't have, only to risk a repeat of what happened 20 years ago, or even be totally ripped off, since about 99.999% of those services are nothing more than scams. PT Barnum aptly summed up the customers of dating services; "There's a sucker born very minute". Besides, I took the eHarmony test a few years back, just for giggles. I even said I would settle for anyone anywhere in the world. Sure enough, the results came back with no remote match for me. Since I wasn't really expecting anything, I can't really say that I was disappointed. Hell, I can't even afford to go out anymore, certainly not in this economy.

And meeting someone at church? Being an agnostic, I highly question the value of getting up on a Sunday morning to hear a bunch of crap whose validity I find highly questionable.

As one can guess, I now spend most of my time alone.

Basically, I have accepted the fact that I will always be alone. I will grow old alone, I will die alone. There's nothing I can do about it. I'll be 50 next year, so I'm probably too old to get involved with anyone, anyway. In any event, I've been out of "The Game" for so long that I've completely forgotten what precious little I knew of how to play it, not that I was ever any good at it to begin with- I was like a blind man driving in the Indy 500. Anyway, at 49, I'm probably not all that far from the end of my time on This Toilet Earth(to quote a GWAR album title)

Basically, the dating scene sucks major ass. Always has, always will. I often wish I'd never gotten involved with it.
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Old 11-13-2012, 05:23 PM
 
Location: A land flowing with milk and honey...
2,099 posts, read 1,034,436 times
Reputation: 3796
Thumbs up This...

Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
has anybody given up on dating and love?

Yeah...everyone who's married! Lol!
As for the rest of us, no...I don't think we have given up on dating and (finding) love but rather taking it as it comes, one day at a time and having faith that it will happen in its own good time. While we are busy living our lives, working, being with our families and committing ourselves to our interests and hobbies we know that it is just a matter of time when fate and serendipity collide...

Carry on...
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Old 11-13-2012, 05:32 PM
 
Location: State of Relaxation
31,708 posts, read 17,319,608 times
Reputation: 21758
Quote:
Originally Posted by DavieJ89 View Post
Apparently I cant keep a relationship going for more then 3 weeks (my longest relationship) and it seems like every girl Im interested in only "wants to be friends" (a very poor excuse btw because after I try to talkthe mas a friend the yall ignore me) or they in a very sublte and cowardly way tell me to eff off and never talk to them again

I always check out girls who I'd be interested in but I dont bother talking to them because I know they won't like me, I feel like Im not good enough for any girl and that no girl wants me.

I've decided to just give up on love as dating has become too painful as I see all these undeserving men get all the girls I like. I've tried to develop who I am and change things for the better but like everything else it has backfired. People are starting to think Im gay because of my horrible luck with women and thats making me question my own sexuality now

I'm just curious has anybody ever given up on love and became celibate like what I'm planning on doing?
You're way too young to give up--still in college. That's silly that people are starting to think you're gay. I don't believe it. It's not that unusual for guys and women to go through college dateless. The right woman will come along sooner or later. Be patient, and in the meantime, stay busy with activities. Work on enjoying life and giving to others. It'll make you more attractive. Anyone who gives you a hard time isn't your friend. Look for people you get along well with, and enjoy their company. Good luck. And: ditto everything that "Home is Where..." said.

Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 11-13-2012 at 06:28 PM..
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Old 11-13-2012, 06:17 PM
 
4,227 posts, read 3,200,431 times
Reputation: 1524
I will never give up till my last breathe.
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Old 11-13-2012, 06:22 PM
 
Location: CT
245 posts, read 223,693 times
Reputation: 201
For now, yes. No one gives me a chance to prove myself, because only asymmetrical flaw throws off my whole look.

So I'm reconstructing myself physically, then I'll throw myself into the field.
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Old 11-13-2012, 07:07 PM
 
4,491 posts, read 3,935,725 times
Reputation: 3763
Quote:
Originally Posted by DavieJ89 View Post
Apparently I cant keep a relationship going for more then 3 weeks (my longest relationship) and it seems like every girl Im interested in only "wants to be friends" (a very poor excuse btw because after I try to talkthe mas a friend the yall ignore me) or they in a very sublte and cowardly way tell me to eff off and never talk to them again

I always check out girls who I'd be interested in but I dont bother talking to them because I know they won't like me, I feel like Im not good enough for any girl and that no girl wants me.

I've decided to just give up on love as dating has become too painful as I see all these undeserving men get all the girls I like. I've tried to develop who I am and change things for the better but like everything else it has backfired. People are starting to think Im gay because of my horrible luck with women and thats making me question my own sexuality now

I'm just curious has anybody ever given up on love and became celibate like what I'm planning on doing?
OP posted this almost three years ago.

Wonder how he's done since then?
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