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I would like some input on what one would define as an emotional affair. I'm quite sure that my husband had one, with his ex girlfriend.
She had her mother call our house and pretend someone died (I know-karma!) to see if he was "available". Turns out he took the chick's number and called her from work and talked to her almost daily while at work and emailed from work for over 7 months. I had no clue until I was using his phone one day for directions and she popped up with an "I miss you" text. He claims they were "just friends". I told him when her mother called that it was an inappropriate approach and I felt uncomfortable with it. I feel that the hidden nature of the "friendship" is a form of betrayal. What's worse is he discussed the nature of our marriage with said person. She is going through a divorce...
I don't know about any physical contact...no one is willing to fess up to anything.
Any thoughts on whether this qualifies as an emotional affair? All I know is it devastated me because it felt like a betrayal, especially when he lied to my face. It's still raw and painful.
I'm sorry.
Are you sure it was only an emotional thing and nothing physical happened between them?
Emotional affair is when 2 people who are really attracted to each other and want each other are in constant communication, share their most intimate thoughts and feelings, tell each other things that they wouldn't tell anyone else and say very affectionate things to one another. It's not just friendship. It's when they both know that if the circumstances were different, if they weren't already in a relationship, they would be together physically as well.
Last but not least, it's a secret friendship that nobody, including significant others know about.
Sounds like your husband could be a participant of one of those. Speak to him and get out of him exactly what happened between them.
Basically anything a spouse wouldn't do or say with a member of the opposite sex in front of their spouse is not appropriate to be doing. People who have nothing to hide hide nothing.
I kind of agree, My SO knows I'm on this forum a lot and she can "see" what I do or don't do, so that is kind of along the same lines, if you need to "hide" something it's probably not the right kind of interaction to have with someone.
thsi reminds me of, "I smoked, but didn't inhale". Once a Person cheats, it make no difference if the enjoyed it or not, or if it was just Physical, (like that make it OK) or whether they were watching TV when the whole thing was goin on. It is what it is, excuses or not.
thsi reminds me of, "I smoked, but didn't inhale". Once a Person cheats, it make no difference if the enjoyed it or not, or if it was just Physical, (like that make it OK) or whether they were watching TV when the whole thing was goin on. It is what it is, excuses or not.
I'm not saying it's "okay" - I'm just saying when a man cheats just for the physical sex it's a lot easier to save the marriage than if he cheated with someone he is emotionally involved with.
It a terrible thing and yes, I would say your husband had/is having an emotional affair. Mine did too and unfortunately I discovered it when I found some of their email exchanges. There is nothing quite so devistating as finding out your husband is sharing all sorts of details about your and your marriage with another woman, especially when they are discussing maritalproblems you didn't even know you had! But SHE understood him, she comforted him, she told him it would be ok and that he deserved better....while he was doing the same thing for her. blech.
By the time I realized what was going on and confronted my husband he already had one foot out the door. Karma is a ***** though, she ended things with him right after that and now I don't want him back (not just because of this but everything that happened since).
Are you sure it was only an emotional thing and nothing physical happened between them?
Emotional affair is when 2 people who are really attracted to each other and want each other are in constant communication, share their most intimate thoughts and feelings, tell each other things that they wouldn't tell anyone else and say very affectionate things to one another. It's not just friendship. It's when they both know that if the circumstances were different, if they weren't already in a relationship, they would be together physically as well.
Last but not least, it's a secret friendship that nobody, including significant others know about.
Sounds like your husband could be a participant of one of those. Speak to him and get out of him exactly what happened between them.
That sucks.
Great post Max's Mama! This fits my decspription of an emotional affair.
I'm not saying it's "okay" - I'm just saying when a man cheats just for the physical sex it's a lot easier to save the marriage than if he cheated with someone he is emotionally involved with.
Don't take this personally---but to cover one lie with another, is not saving the marriage. It is just continuing with a lie.
Don't take this personally---but to cover one lie with another, is not saving the marriage. It is just continuing with a lie.
You are missing my point
I am not talking about cheating behind someones back - I am talking about when a spouse KNOWS their partner cheated. Marriages that struggle with an infidelity CAN and do survive, it's just a bit easier when the man/woman was not EMOTIONALLY involved with the person they cheated with. Once there is an emotional connection to the affair breaking it off and/or forgiving it can be a huge challenge.
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This fits my decspription of an emotional affair. 
