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Old 12-02-2009, 09:37 AM
 
Location: 'da U.P. or Bust!
1,167 posts, read 1,743,178 times
Reputation: 1179
Default Marriage After Only Dating Someone For A Month?

What do you all think about people who get engaged/married after only dating for a very short period of time? I know this used to be fairly common, even engagements were kept very short. Around the time of WW2, due to the war many people rushed into marriage, BUT many of them stayed married, the divorce rates weren't anywhere as high as they are today. The reason I'm asking this, my friend I mentioned on another thread, just met a girl and had sex with her after only knowing her a week. Now he's talking about asking her to marry him and he says she's on the same page despite only knowing each other for less than a month. These two are NOT kids, both in their late forties, early fifties. My grandma had an old-timers saying :"marry in haste, repent in leasure". What do you all think of quickie marriages?
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Old 12-02-2009, 09:44 AM
 
Location: in the good ol' South
865 posts, read 1,329,125 times
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It can happen, if you meet the right one. But I wouldn't recommend it. Too many unknowns still, that can derail them.

As for your friends, what's the rush? Not like there has to be a shot gun wedding or anything.
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Old 12-02-2009, 09:47 AM
 
Location: East Valley, AZ
3,753 posts, read 4,842,681 times
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I don't think they can work out, but there are some out there who prove they can. My ex-best friend of 4 years recently got engaged...after dating the girl for a month. She's 23, he's 27. Last I heard her mother is making them wait to get married in April (they were planning on eloping this past weekend--it would be 2 months at that point). She's a smart woman. Hopefully those two can cool their jets for a few months and really decide if they want to rush into marriage without even knowing one another. I hope they don't make a stupid mistake.
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Old 12-02-2009, 09:48 AM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
2,985 posts, read 2,247,475 times
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BAD IDEA!

BAAAAAAAAD idea! BAD!
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Old 12-02-2009, 09:52 AM
 
Location: My Private Island
4,926 posts, read 4,394,906 times
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Kloe Kardashian did it, doesn't that make it ok?
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Old 12-02-2009, 09:58 AM
 
951 posts, read 971,960 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilred0005 View Post
What do you all think about people who get engaged/married after only dating for a very short period of time? I know this used to be fairly common, even engagements were kept very short. Around the time of WW2, due to the war many people rushed into marriage, BUT many of them stayed married, the divorce rates weren't anywhere as high as they are today. The reason I'm asking this, my friend I mentioned on another thread, just met a girl and had sex with her after only knowing her a week. Now he's talking about asking her to marry him and he says she's on the same page despite only knowing each other for less than a month. These two are NOT kids, both in their late forties, early fifties. My grandma had an old-timers saying :"marry in haste, repent in leasure". What do you all think of quickie marriages?
That sex on the first date must have been awesome!
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Old 12-02-2009, 10:02 AM
 
304 posts, read 507,757 times
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I did it, 13 years ago!

Met and were engaged after one week. Married at six weeks.

Still together and doing well, in fact we're adopting three kids (6, 8, and 9).

Of course we were older (in our 30s), both had degrees and good jobs and knew who we were and where we stood in life. Similar religions as well.

I do NOT recommend it for anyone younger than 30, though. You don't know enough about life and yourself to make a go as a partner to someone else.

And it's not easy, but then marriage isn't easy. It takes commitment, respect, patience, humility, and honesty. And love, lots of love!
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Old 12-02-2009, 10:06 AM
 
1,323 posts, read 1,341,153 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilred0005 View Post
What do you all think about people who get engaged/married after only dating for a very short period of time? I know this used to be fairly common, even engagements were kept very short. Around the time of WW2, due to the war many people rushed into marriage, BUT many of them stayed married, the divorce rates weren't anywhere as high as they are today. The reason I'm asking this, my friend I mentioned on another thread, just met a girl and had sex with her after only knowing her a week. Now he's talking about asking her to marry him and he says she's on the same page despite only knowing each other for less than a month. These two are NOT kids, both in their late forties, early fifties. My grandma had an old-timers saying :"marry in haste, repent in leasure". What do you all think of quickie marriages?
There's a lot that goes into this..

I've known people that have done exactly what you said, and have been fine. But, they were both very mature people, and during their time together, spent a lot of time figuring out the other person.

Still, that's rare. In modern times, there's a lot more to take into consideration than ever previously. There's a lot more knowledge about love and relationships than ever before. Add to that the fact that people tend to practice more "self-diagnosing" than ever before, and you end up in a chaotic situation.

Most people don't even have the time to sit back and relax for a few days, much less really take the time to get to know another person within just a few short weeks. Sure, there are feelings of "love" there, but it takes time to learn if that's really love or an over-infatuation with the other person. I think that a couple really have to know one another intimately before taking the plunge, otherwise they are just setting themselves up for failure.

I wish the both of them the best of luck.. I hope that they go against the odds and have a strong and happy marriage.
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Old 12-02-2009, 10:21 AM
 
Location: On our boat!
5,674 posts, read 10,045,998 times
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A couple of weeks after meeting my wife, I asked her to marry me and she accept.......with the condition that we live together for a year (my condition and she accepted). One month after I asked her, I moved in with her and bought her an engagement ring that she wore. We were actually married on the same date that I asked her to marry me the year before! We were an older couple when I asked her to marry me, her/52-me/50. We have now been VERY HAPPILY married for almost 9 years! We both had a lot of the same interests and she liked my personality AND we were BOTH "marriage minded"......completely!
Can this happen to any couple, yes, but not so sure in today's generation. The more I read on this forum about all the difficuties/problems that unmarried young singles and couples have today, marriage sure isn't like it use to be years ago!
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Old 12-02-2009, 10:30 AM
 
Location: California
440 posts, read 562,555 times
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At their ages I'm sure they both know what they are looking for and if they have found that in eachother then power to them! Maybe you should congradulate them, seems like there happy. Sure its crazy, but haven't you ever done anything crazy before?
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