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Infatuation is that feeling of loved that happens almost immediately. The difference between infatuation and love is that one is based on feelings and the other stands on a more concrete foundation. Love happens when you know who the person really is and you still feel that same way. Hope that makes sense.
That's why I don't belive in love at first sight but I do believe in lust at first sight.
Infatuation is an instant uncontrolled reaction that can change for better or worse in a short amount of time but has no quaranteed long term longevity.
Love is a feeling that builds over time with a rock solid foundation that just keeps growing and getting stronger as years go by.
Looks, body language, mannerisms, dress, etc. can be reasons for being infatuated with someone.
And sometimes this does turn into real love.
But real love is two hearts beating and working together through the good and bad times of life and refusing to let anything separate them.
I could be infatuated by a beautifull woman in the grocery store and appreciate her beauty and how she presents a perfect woman image.
But I've been in love with a woman I know will be there with me through good and hard times for almost 30 years.
She has proven her devotion and I guess I've proven mine.
Real lasting love takes time.
I admit I was infatuated with her at first. But it grew into a lifetime of love.
Infatuation can be a seed planted. Whether or not it grows to maturity is how it is cultivated and nurtured by both party's.
I got lucky. She was beautifull. I was infatuated. I wanted her. But that was only a first impression. Then I got to know her better and found out her good basic caring nature.
The love grew over time and years. And it's still getting stronger.
Friends told me I had a trophy wife. No, she isn't a trophy. She is just my soul mate.
I didn't shoot her. I just love her.
We raised 6 kids.
Infatuation and real love is two different things. But the former can turn into the later.
Only time will tell. And it takes both people. It can't be a one way street.
....This was truly philosophically inspiring! It's great to hear positive love from a couple serving as role models, if you will, for the concept of "true love". Bless you xoxo
Infatuation is the same thing as being in love, or as I call it, "falling in lust." A chemical reaction takes place in the brain that lasts for between six months and two years, depending on how often the couple is together. During this time, a couple is blinded to each other's shortcomings and faults. Have you ever heard someone say, "I'd DIE for her/him!" -- and they're talking about a person they've known for a month? That's brain chemicals talking. We're biologically wired for this feeling of instant "connection" and protectiveness for just enough time for a child to be conceived. In other words, "in love" is your a dupe to ensure survival of the species. A man doesn't "love" the woman--he's merely wired to protect her because she might/will bear his offspring.
Once the "in love/in lust" stage wears off, you cannot ever truly get it back again. Your partner will never cause the same instantaneous "die without you near!" response again. Not ever. You're immune to each other.
Now, whether you decide to love them after the "in love" phase is based on other things. Love is a decision. Love is not a feeling, it is a series of actions. Love looks at the important things, such as character, values, goals, morals, behaviors, etc. Love is not blind. You love in spite of your partner's shortcomings and faults. Because it's impossible to tell what a love interest is really like until you get to know them, there's no way to know if you really love them until that lust phase wears itself out. If you still want to hang around ... that's love.
Ever fall really hard for someone in your youth (or not so distant youth) only to look back at them and think, "What the heck was I thinking? Yikes, that person was terrible!"--? I have. I mean, there was this one guy ... serious ::shudder:: Meaning, my ex-husband. I don't know what I was thinking. Okay, I do know what I was thinking: NOTHING. I was too in love with him to see him for the abusive, controlling person he really was. My brain chemicals were too busy telling me to jump under a train for him and give and hazard all to the point of self-defeat. And now that I know that about him, I am ashamed to have ever attached my name to his. Part of the problem was that we got married before all of the infatuation wore off.
So that's my long way of saying: No, of course instantaneous love isn't possible. You can't love someone you don't even know.
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