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Mine tells me "I don't see the mess." (except when he feels like complaining). I just do 95% of the housework because I am unemployed, but it's endless and thankless. It also leads to an argument if I point out I do this 95%...
When I was married, my ex never did anything around the house for me. I got used to not asking and being pretty independent. I did lawns, repairs, and all the other stuff I wasn't really good at but had no choice.
Now my BF gets angry at me for not asking for help. BUT WAIT! When I ask him, it never gets done anyway. For example, I've been asking for three weeks for him to go get the oil changed in my car. And for three weeks it hasn't gotten done. So today I went and got it done myself. Now he's mad.
Or when he asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I told him. It was nothing big - it was under $30. But I never got it. So I went out a week later and got it for myself. And he was like, "Why didn't you remind me?"
Well, duh. Am I wrong here, or have I found a frigging carbon copy of my ex? And he wonders why I won't let him move in with me....
I think you have found that carbon copy and will likely find more because at some point you have to look at what it is about you that draws this kind of individual. It may just have been your "independence" that helped him seek you out and why he wants to move in with you.
Other women put on a big dependent act, are as helpless as they can be and everything is done for them, no gift is too special and so on.
When I was married, my ex never did anything around the house for me. I got used to not asking and being pretty independent. I did lawns, repairs, and all the other stuff I wasn't really good at but had no choice.
Now my BF gets angry at me for not asking for help. BUT WAIT! When I ask him, it never gets done anyway. For example, I've been asking for three weeks for him to go get the oil changed in my car. And for three weeks it hasn't gotten done. So today I went and got it done myself. Now he's mad.
Or when he asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I told him. It was nothing big - it was under $30. But I never got it. So I went out a week later and got it for myself. And he was like, "Why didn't you remind me?"
Well, duh. Am I wrong here, or have I found a frigging carbon copy of my ex? And he wonders why I won't let him move in with me....
You need to dump this guy [good thing he isnt living there] and get a man with some intiative.
I take care of the car oil changing, well let drive in people do it, and I am disabled and mostly housebound woman.
Why put up with man like this, does he have a job at least?
A lot of men are looking for "mothers" to take care of everything for them. Your independence is what is bringing dudes like this around. I am facing the bad facts of getting very ill in a relationship where Ive had to take on all the responsiblities all these years and Im worn out. I stopped trying to help my spouse with all his problems, read books on codependency and stepped away but there are things I need him to do like fill out income sheets for social workers that I get tired of asking for. Find someone who has already grown up.
When I was married, my ex never did anything around the house for me. I got used to not asking and being pretty independent. I did lawns, repairs, and all the other stuff I wasn't really good at but had no choice.
Now my BF gets angry at me for not asking for help. BUT WAIT! When I ask him, it never gets done anyway. For example, I've been asking for three weeks for him to go get the oil changed in my car. And for three weeks it hasn't gotten done. So today I went and got it done myself. Now he's mad.
Or when he asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I told him. It was nothing big - it was under $30. But I never got it. So I went out a week later and got it for myself. And he was like, "Why didn't you remind me?"
Well, duh. Am I wrong here, or have I found a frigging carbon copy of my ex? And he wonders why I won't let him move in with me....
You have some soul searching to do to figure out why you are picking the same kind of men over and over.
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