Dating someone with a criminal background (wife, marry, man, sex)

[wigirl920]

Originally Posted by NotARedneck

[/list]If he has confidence, isn't needy and makes your girlfriends envious, why should it matter?

I'm not asking for myself...just to make that clear Just asking what peoples' opinions are on it....

[artsyguy]

Just like if I found a woman was a control freak idiot I'd dump her in a flash. Thank God I'm asexual and don't care for dating.

Originally Posted by Easybreezy

One word: Dealbreaker

[ChessieMom]

Originally Posted by wigirl920

I've always been semi-curious as to what people thought about dating someone with a criminal background. I'm not talking about traffic citations.

So, what say ye about dating someone with a criminal background -

• Do you care? Yes.
• Do you draw a line at certain crimes? Yes. Things such as public intoxication, or a minor pot arrest in their younger years, who cares.
• Does it make a difference if it was 2 years ago versus 10 years ago? Depends on the crime.
• Make a difference if charges were filed but they weren't found guilty?

Again, depends on the crime and the situation.
ETA: This is assuming you know about the criminal record and recognizing that people commit crimes, don't get caught and don't have a formal record.

It definitely matters to me, but it's hard to generalize. I'd say most crimes would give me pause.

[Eresh]

Originally Posted by wigirl920

I've always been semi-curious as to what people thought about dating someone with a criminal background. I'm not talking about traffic citations.

So, what say ye about dating someone with a criminal background -

• Do you care? Yes, especially if we were very serious and considering marriage or something like that. Depending on the nature of the crime, a criminal background can make it difficult to find a job. However, it's not necessarily a deal breaker for me. It depends on the circumstances.
• Do you draw a line at certain crimes? Some crimes, such as homicide or child molestation would definitely make me think twice. As for other crimes, it depends on the person's attitude about it (remorseful and learned his lesson versus angry at the cops because they caught him). Another thing that would make me think twice is repeat traffic violations, such as reckless driving. I would be too scared to get in the car with him!
• Does it make a difference if it was 2 years ago versus 10 years ago? See above comment about the person's attitude.
• Make a difference if charges were filed but they weren't found guilty? In an ideal world, a person is innocent until proven guilty. But in reality, it depends on why they weren't found guilty. If it was because they made some sort of plea bargain or because charges were thrown out on a technicality, then I would think of the person the same way as if he had been found guilty. On the other hand, sometimes innocent people are charged and later found not guilty or had the charges dropped.

ETA: This is assuming you know about the criminal record and recognizing that people commit crimes, don't get caught and don't have a formal record.

Lot's of people have criminal records, but how many of us actually do a background check on our dates? (I don't!)

[dave nz]

Never have a probably never will

[Btrja]

Depending on the crime and their actions so far after the fact then I would have no problem in atleast giving them a chance. This opinion is biased seeing how I am a exfelon myself I would probably be more understanding that some of the more closed-minded people I have met. Everyone deserves a second chance.
Also to those who unequivocally say no without any consideration; nobody is truly innocent. You just haven't been caught. Do you want a future mate to hold your crimes, known or unknown, against you?

[cricket_factor]

After working at a courthouse for almost six years - I would be very cautious in who I dated. In fact, maybe if it was getting serious I might do a background check on the guy.

I'll probably get bashed for being a good-two-shoes here, but having a valid driver's license, being able to get a loan for a car or a house, or being able to pass a credit and background and drug check for employment - these are precious things, believe it or not. And really make your life simpler in the long run. Life is hard enough as it is.

It's nice not having to check the box on employment application papers where it says,"Have you ever been convicted of a misdemeanor or a felony?" NO!

[andreaspercheron]

I myself don't have a criminal background so it would be hard for me to be accepting of someone who did. Plus, I'd feel like someone with more than traffic citations may not be 100% honest with me either as the men and women who have been in serious trouble with the law and done "hard time" typically were manipulators and liars during their criminal days.... for me it would be best to not be involved with anyone that had that kind of background.

[pitt_transplant]

I don't have a rap sheet so they better not. I just like to keep it simple like that. And in knowing enough cops on a friendly basis and having dealt with them...They really only nab you for big stuff and when you are doing something not legal + being a butthead. I don't become close friends even with people that have a record. There is always something that happens with them even beyond whatever stuff they got into crap for. I think having a record is a sign your life is out of control everywhere. Thats a lot of baggage to have to deal with.

[seeniorita]

It's much easier to say you won't ever date someone with a criminal record if your life has not been touched by this issue. My brother had a criminal/prison record. When he was young, he was on drugs, robbed a store and went to prison for 8 years. He was a good guy, he just could not pull his life together but does that mean I thought he should've forever been ousted by the female population and incapable of having someone love him?...No.

So for me, it would depend on the person and the degree of the crime. I try to make it a practice to never say never. I would go in with my eyes open, knowing my options.