Friend wants me to tag along on a double date, but I have doubts... (dating, women)
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A friend of mine recently finally worked up the courage to ask out this girl he sees at place he goes out to lunch often (I've been telling him to go for it for weeks) but she said she wants to go out with him with a friend of hers.
I think that's a bad sign for him already, but he's determined and optimistic. He wants me to occupy her friend while he goes for his lady of interest, but I have severe doubts.
I've always imagined double dates working only if both girls met both guys at the same time. If one pair has known eachother for a while, and the other pair just met, I think that's going to create an imbalance of chemistry between both pairs and might make it awkward, you know what I mean?
But my biggest concern is money and my friends "style" of dating. He's never been too particularly successful with girls. He's the kind of guy who spends exorbitant amounts of money on a girl before he even makes a move. I remember one time, he took out a girl 3 times to high end, 5-star restaurants, bought her a self massage machine for her birthday, took her to NYC on a daytrip, and he hadn't even kissed her yet. When he finally made a move, she still rejected him.
I've repeatedly told him not to go all out on first dates and not to start paying for a lot of stuff until after he's made a move and is sure she likes him, but he keeps making the same mistake. My friends have always joked that one of us could live off the money he spends on failed dates.
I'm really worrying about a repeat. He suggested this really high end place for dinner and that was an immediate red flag for me. I feel like if he spends a ton of money on his girl, that I'm going to have to keep up with him by spending as much on my date or else I'll look like a cheapskate in comparison, my date won't enjoy the evening, my friend's date won't enjoy that her friend's not enjoying the evening and she'll end up not liking him.
I'm really having doubts about this offer for a double date. I'm thinking of telling my friend, "Dude, I'm only going to buy my date 1 drink that night. If you spend a dollar more than me on yours, I'm going to leave then and there." What do you think?
Last edited by Brown Leather Jacket; 12-11-2009 at 04:43 AM..
It seems the young lady is just being cautious which is a good thing. What would be best under the circumstances for your friend would be to arrange to meet her at a convenient location for both of them for either lunch or a couple of drinks after work - not a high-end dinner date. I think your best bet is to stay out of it and just graciously decline.
I'm really having doubts about this offer for a double date. I'm thinking of telling my friend, "Dude, I'm only going to buy my date 1 drink that night. If you spend a dollar more than me on yours, I'm going to leave then and there." What do you think?
How generous of you! How will you break this news to your date: "I have a one drink maximum limit"?
After reading several of your threads, I think of you as a man who is extraordinarily mesmerized by the ambiance and surroundings of lounges and nightclubs, more than anything else.
Why are you asking these poor women out anyway? Any of them could get a bottle of wine or liquor and make her own dinner and drinks at home and watch the program of her choice on TV.
I think it's important for you to have a woman on your arm for your self-esteem. Not to show anyone else a good time. And if you can't afford to show anyone else a good time right now in your life, perhaps it isn't the time to do so. Maybe you should get some more life experiences under your belt, especially the kind that prove that you don't have to go to a nightclub and have expensive drinks to have a fun time.
Why are you asking these poor women out anyway? Any of them could get a bottle of wine or liquor and make her own dinner and drinks at home and watch the program of her choice on TV.
I think it's important for you to have a woman on your arm for your self-esteem. Not to show anyone else a good time. And if you can't afford to show anyone else a good time right now in your life, perhaps it isn't the time to do so. Maybe you should get some more life experiences under your belt, especially the kind that prove that you don't have to go to a nightclub and have expensive drinks to have a fun time.
Unless I misread the OP, he did not ask the "poor women" out at all!!!!!! he doesnt even really want to go on the date, so your remark about him having to have a woman on his arm is completely out of line lol Nor did the OP brag about spending money on dates, he was concerned about hsi friend over spending!!!!!!!!!!
It seems the young lady is just being cautious which is a good thing. What would be best under the circumstances for your friend would be to arrange to meet her at a convenient location for both of them for either lunch or a couple of drinks after work - not a high-end dinner date. I think your best bet is to stay out of it and just graciously decline.
This would have been my suggestion too except that I think you SHOULD go on the date if you can change the location to something more fitting for your wallet.
You keep telling us all how you can't meet any girls....why not give it a chance and see what happens?
Unless I misread the OP, he did not ask the "poor women" out at all!!!!!! he doesnt even really want to go on the date, so your remark about him having to have a woman on his arm is completely out of line lol Nor did the OP brag about spending money on dates, he was concerned about hsi friend over spending!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe one of us need to go reread the OP.
Well, then he needs to talk to his friend and verbally refuse, not tell us about it here. Have you read his other threads? There's a pattern...
Tell your friend you'll only go with him if he moves to a more casual location. You've long complained about wanting to meet women, so here's your chance. Even if the girls think your buddy's an idiot, they may like you and will be able to help you open up your social circle.
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