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Unread 12-11-2009, 09:10 AM
 
16,872 posts, read 14,713,746 times
Reputation: 16039
Quote:
Originally Posted by msindy32 View Post
Where are all the good black men? The ones with jobs, the ones with respect, the ones that are affectionate, the ones who can tell the truth, the ones that are ok with having only 1 woman, the ones that really wanna do something with you besides just have sex! Where are they let me know please!
I know at least three, personally. They are out there.

 
Unread 12-11-2009, 09:11 AM
 
Location: Hills & Hollers
17,586 posts, read 13,218,191 times
Reputation: 14919
Quote:
Originally Posted by msindy32 View Post
Where are all the good black men? The ones with jobs, the ones with respect, the ones that are affectionate, the ones who can tell the truth, the ones that are ok with having only 1 woman, the ones that really wanna do something with you besides just have sex! Where are they let me know please!
I hate to be trite but there is some truth to the bad joke that men are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken.

I worked with a number of black gentleman who were just that -- motivated, educated, moral, faithful and married. Of course, I also worked with white, Hispanic and Asian men who were the same way.

All races have their grittier elements and I see little, if any, differences between ghetto blacks, barrio Hispanics, white trash, etc.

The bottom line is that they're out there. It just might take some time to find one. But you have to look in the right places!
 
Unread 12-11-2009, 09:19 AM
 
412 posts, read 540,411 times
Reputation: 204



A lot of men are in jail.

Bureau of Justice Statistics Prison Statistics (http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/prisons.htm - broken link)

"Summary findings

During 2008
2,304,115 prisoners were held in federal or state prisons or in local jails an increase of 0.3% from yearend 2007, less than the average annual growth of 2.5% from 2000-2007.
1,540,036 sentenced prisoners were under state or federal jurisdiction. there were an estimated 504 sentenced prisoners per 100,000 U.S. residents down from 506 at yearend 2007. the number of women under the jurisdiction of state or federal prison authorities increased .3% from yearend 2007, reaching 114,852, and the number of men rose 0.8%, totaling 1,495,594. At midyear 2008, there were 4,777 black male inmates per 100,000 U.S. residents being held in state or federal prison and local jails, compared to 1,760 Hispanic male inmates per 100,000 U.S. residents and 727 white male inmates per 100,000 U.S. residents."
 
Unread 12-11-2009, 09:41 AM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL (Northside)
2,908 posts, read 3,191,948 times
Reputation: 2682
All the good black men are taken by the good black women, keyword being GOOD. I'm all a previous posted described: driven and faithful, educated and I'm sure there are others like me but if you're a ghetto Section 8 Hoodrat, no good black man is going to be checking for you. Period
 
Unread 12-11-2009, 09:46 AM
 
Location: Sunny Florida
6,221 posts, read 5,812,463 times
Reputation: 6858
I feel your pain , but must assure you that there are lots of good black men, white men, Hispanic men, Asian men, and just men in general out there. Sometimes it seems like all of the good ones are taken, but the good men I know are out there looking for nice women and long term relationships and they get frustrated too. All I can tell you is don't give up and be open to men who might not fit your mental picture of Mr. Right. The nice guys tell me they are often "invisible" to women, so be open to dating men you might ordinarily dismiss for whatever reason. It's all a numbers game really. You have to date lots of people before you find one worth keeping. Hang in there and keep the faith.
 
Unread 12-11-2009, 10:02 AM
 
14 posts, read 22,283 times
Reputation: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Dan View Post
Although I am white, i can tell you that there ARE plenty of good,decent black men out there. I work with a number of them. Dont give up. Just think to yourself "where would I meet the sort of guy I'm looking for?" It probably wont be at a club or the street corner. Try the library or church. They really are out there. Good luck young lady and dont give up!
Maybe I should start looking in Tennessee. and I am not stuck on one color now a days I am just looking for a good man
 
Unread 12-11-2009, 10:02 AM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
2,985 posts, read 2,006,799 times
Reputation: 5599
Can you please describe these 'good black men' for me? In some detail?

I suspect they're where the rest of the 'good men' are: All around you.

They're the ones who are more quiet, not advertising to everyone who will listen that they have a job -- because they're too busy DOING that job and holding down payments and commitments.

They're the ones who are often overlooked because they're not loud or flashy. They drive a good car, maybe even a nice car, but it's not pimped out and drawing the stare; instead it's practical and efficient and slides right on by without drawing notice. The car, by the way, lacks a giant, vibrating heartbeat.

They don't garner attention right away because their pants are pulled up, their shirts are tucked in and they're not screaming or waving their hands at everything.

You might have missed them on the street; they're not readily visible because they're not THERE, they're at work holding down that job you so crave as a qualification.

Funny thing: The "good black men" are ALL OVER THE PLACE, about 50 percent or so (as is the stat with any race or creed) of the population, but they don't draw attention to themselves.


I advise you to take another look, a CLOSER look. Go to a supermarket or a restaurant or a church or a business setting.


Once you're there, take a look around for the guys you normally wouldn't give a second glance -- not because you WANT to look at trash, but because the trash is screaming and jumping and drawing your attention to it, hindering your search for the GOOD man, whatever his color.

And many of them are, indeed, taken; married; in a relationship they don't care to step out on.

So when you spot one who's already taken, well, he's out of bounds, off-limits. But don't let that stop you from studying him and his situation; you should be doing that very, very attentively.

Take a good look at HIS WIFE. See what she does. See how she acts. See how she dresses and how she interacts with him. After all, if you want to catch a tiger you've got to think like a tiger, not like a woman who says "Why can't I catch a tiger?"
 
Unread 12-11-2009, 10:05 AM
 
14 posts, read 22,283 times
Reputation: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch View Post
Can you please describe these 'good black men' for me? In some detail?

I suspect they're where the rest of the 'good men' are: All around you.

They're the ones who are more quiet, not advertising to everyone who will listen that they have a job -- because they're too busy DOING that job and holding down payments and commitments.

They're the ones who are often overlooked because they're not loud or flashy. They drive a good car, maybe even a nice car, but it's not pimped out and drawing the stare; instead it's practical and efficient and slides right on by without drawing notice. The car, by the way, lacks a giant, vibrating heartbeat.

They don't garner attention right away because their pants are pulled up, their shirts are tucked in and they're not screaming or waving their hands at everything.

You might have missed them on the street; they're not readily visible because they're not THERE, they're at work holding down that job you so crave as a qualification.

Funny thing: The "good black men" are ALL OVER THE PLACE, about 50 percent or so (as is the stat with any race or creed) of the population, but they don't draw attention to themselves.


I advise you to take another look, a CLOSER look. Go to a supermarket or a restaurant or a church or a business setting.


Once you're there, take a look around for the guys you normally wouldn't give a second glance -- not because you WANT to look at trash, but because the trash is screaming and jumping and drawing your attention to it, hindering your search for the GOOD man, whatever his color.

And many of them are, indeed, taken; married; in a relationship they don't care to step out on.

So when you spot one who's already taken, well, he's out of bounds, off-limits. But don't let that stop you from studying him and his situation; you should be doing that very, very attentively.

Take a good look at HIS WIFE. See what she does. See how she acts. See how she dresses and how she interacts with him. After all, if you want to catch a tiger you've got to think like a tiger, not like a woman who says "Why can't I catch a tiger?"
Maybe you are absolutely right!
 
Unread 12-11-2009, 10:11 AM
 
Location: Expatriate Philadelphian in Northern Virginia
7,426 posts, read 10,372,012 times
Reputation: 2035
It's true that there are a disproportionate percentage of black men in jail, sadly. Urban legend also says that a fair number are outwardly gay. So by the time one gets to straight black guys that are reasonably decent, the pickings can indeed be somewhat slim... especially those that are rather $ucce$$ful.

On the other hand, many black women have generally achieved more in the white-collar ranks compared to black men. Those ladies often limit their focus to those that equal or surpass their accomplishments. Unfortunately some of these professional guys are often all too aware of their relatively rare status and take advantage of the ladies.

While not absolving the black guys, if black ladies would be more open to guys who aren't (yet?) in their league financially - and aren't emulating music videos - that might increased the odds of meeting someone decent.

And FWIW, yes I am a black dude.
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Unread 12-11-2009, 10:12 AM
 
Location: Expatriate Philadelphian in Northern Virginia
7,426 posts, read 10,372,012 times
Reputation: 2035
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch View Post
Can you please describe these 'good black men' for me? In some detail?

I suspect they're where the rest of the 'good men' are: All around you.

They're the ones who are more quiet, not advertising to everyone who will listen that they have a job -- because they're too busy DOING that job and holding down payments and commitments.

They're the ones who are often overlooked because they're not loud or flashy. They drive a good car, maybe even a nice car, but it's not pimped out and drawing the stare; instead it's practical and efficient and slides right on by without drawing notice. The car, by the way, lacks a giant, vibrating heartbeat.

They don't garner attention right away because their pants are pulled up, their shirts are tucked in and they're not screaming or waving their hands at everything.

You might have missed them on the street; they're not readily visible because they're not THERE, they're at work holding down that job you so crave as a qualification.

Funny thing: The "good black men" are ALL OVER THE PLACE, about 50 percent or so (as is the stat with any race or creed) of the population, but they don't draw attention to themselves.


I advise you to take another look, a CLOSER look. Go to a supermarket or a restaurant or a church or a business setting.


Once you're there, take a look around for the guys you normally wouldn't give a second glance -- not because you WANT to look at trash, but because the trash is screaming and jumping and drawing your attention to it, hindering your search for the GOOD man, whatever his color.

And many of them are, indeed, taken; married; in a relationship they don't care to step out on.

So when you spot one who's already taken, well, he's out of bounds, off-limits. But don't let that stop you from studying him and his situation; you should be doing that very, very attentively.

Take a good look at HIS WIFE. See what she does. See how she acts. See how she dresses and how she interacts with him. After all, if you want to catch a tiger you've got to think like a tiger, not like a woman who says "Why can't I catch a tiger?"
What he said somewhat more eloquently - and quicker! LOL - than me.
__________________
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When I post in bold red, that is Moderator action and per the TOS can be discussed only via Direct Message.
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