Where have all the good black men gone? (clubs, interracial, interested)

[Black Jack22]

Originally Posted by angerinthenation

As a black man, I think you're making excuses. Why do you care about the black men that are locked up? They shouldn't be on your radar to begin with. The downlow lifestyle black man is being overhyped into something that it isn't. The real reason why there's AIDS going among black women is a list of reasons. Seriously, there's some black women that have unprotected sex, there's some black women whose partners sleep around, there's some black women that think because have oral that they can't get AIDS and the list goes on. And when you say decent job, what do you mean? What type of job are you looking for your potential mate to have? I think another reason why black men and black women don't make it is because there's a BIG misunderstanding going on in both parties. Most black men are looking for woman that will respect what they do, their choices in life and stand by them. Most black women want to control their black man's lifestyle. They want to do whatever they want but at the same time, they want to run their man's life. He can't do this, he can't do that, he has to have this job, he has to do this, that and that. I understand if you're dealing with a ****ty type of guy where he doesn't want to do anything in life and is leeching off of you, being a pain in the ass. A lot of black women RUN the black men out the household if he isn't doing what THEY want. It's disgusting. Like just because he doesn't want to take you to the club, he's treating you bad?

There are good black men outthere, you're just not looking hard enough or you have incredibly high expectations. I think a part of the reason why things are the way they are today between black women and black men is that black women have accepted the negative types of black men and obviously, the black guys that act sensible aren't seen as possible candidates to ya'll. It comes to show that women of today's world are spoiled brats that have too much of a say when it comes to love and relationships especially black woman. Like what some girl wrote in here and was all .. "Their man was a businessman with a Trick Daddy type of personality". That's supposed to be something positive?

When black women actually start accepting positive figures that don't act like Trick Daddy, that don't do the whole thug life crap, and all these other negative stereotypes then things like this wouldn't exist. I think you're looking for a black man that acts all thuggish but is a good guy and looks like the man of your dreams. Keep searching, I'm sure you'll find Mr. Wonderful.

I agree with you, now for the HIV part.

Oral sex is not a consistent way of transmission of HIV. Sexually intercouse and more so anal sex and the use of needles are more sure ways.

Promiscuity is NOT necessarily a sure way to catch HIV but having sex with the high-risk groups is. And those black women have sex with the wrong kinds of men. It can increase your chances if you are having sex with the wrong group of people. But I do agree that black women are more likely to catch it because they are more in contact with high risk groups, especially the lower income ones.

Statistics say that whites actually have more oral sex than blacks.

Having unprotected sex increases more so your odds of catching an STD than HIV but if you are having unprotected sex with the high risk groups, then that VASTLY increases your odds.

Those black women sleep with the thug guys who go in and out of jail. What do you think a nice number of men do while in jail and prison? They contract HIV and give it to their women. These women sleep with a number of these kinds of men.

Men who do not have sex with men rarely ever catch HIV, unless they have long term exposure to someone who uses IV drugs.

If any woman catches HIV from a man, you best believe he has had homosexual sex or uses needles.

Straight, decent black men who do not go to jail or prison really do not ever contract HIV. It is media propaganda that makes it seem as if every other black man has AIDS. So yes, she is making excuses.

To the women: There are no more downlow black men as there are downlow men and women in the other races.

[Black Jack22]

Decent men are not exciting overall to women, especially in America.

Our society has made it that way.

Our society places an emphasis on the material world instead of internal qualities.

It's worse in America than most developed countries in the world.

The women in this thread who cannot find a decent guy have honestly got to be living in the seventh dimension. How about approaching these decent men once in a while and taking notice of them?

In college, I knew 4 or 5 decent guys who had not 1 girlfriend in college! They were not Brad Pitt but were not totally hideous.

[nat_at772]

Originally Posted by Black Jack22

Decent men are not exciting overall to women.

Our society has made it that way.

Our society places an emphasis on the material world.

It's worse in America than most developed countries in the world.

I don't know...Denzel turned me off when he played the Bad Guy

[Black Jack22]

Originally Posted by natalayjones

I don't know...Denzel turned me off when he played the Bad Guy

Not you natalayjones, according to your posts you are one who does appreciate a decent guy. I was aiming it at some of the other people in this thread

[Ron.]

Now this post is fantastic...........I love this.



Signed,
Ron "The Good Brotha".

Originally Posted by calipoppy

"Good Black women" need to spend less time looking for "good Black men" and focus on:

-Having a pleasant attitude
-Managing weight in a healthy range
-Get the financial house in order
-Not expecting "Prince Charming" to pay for trivial things like nail and hair salon visits, cell phone, electric bills because you will reduce yourself to being trivial as well
-Stop following "ghetto" trends in style and fashion - just because its cute in the hood doesn't mean that the rest of us think so
-Building their self esteem (not over compensating for a lack there of with attitude)
-Understand that you can not use sex to buy love - initimacy should be reserved for men who have proven that they are worthy of such special step in a relationship
-Not being overly materialistic (seeking the value of good quality over a quantity of brand name labels)
-Stop dismissing good men as "corny" or "punks" because they aren't "hard" "roughnecks" "thugs"
-Step outside of the current comfort zone and explore new things (skiing, travel, hiking, etc.)
-Learn how to relinquish "control" over each and every situation and let the man in your life to be a man
-Open up to the possibility of finding love with a "Good Man" of any race, this maybe the blessing that God really has planned for you


Signed,

A Really Good Black Woman

[Oildog]

Originally Posted by msindy32

Where are all the good black men? The ones with jobs, the ones with respect, the ones that are affectionate, the ones who can tell the truth, the ones that are ok with having only 1 woman, the ones that really wanna do something with you besides just have sex! Where are they let me know please!

Getting disrespected by other blacks for not being 'street' enough.

[Samir_Abdul]

were in hiding becuase we cant find a loyal african american women, who has more on the brain then material items....

[Ron.]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

Maybe they went back to Africa? Who knows.

Back To Africa? I take it you're speaking about Africans not Black Americans.

[Ron.]

Originally Posted by Chowhound

Maybe FUBU was having a sale.


J/K, I'm gonna get the hate now. Just a joke people.

It's not the first time you've said things like this. I'll keep the rest of my thoughts to myself.


For the record..I wear Brooks Brothers and North Face.

Not a joke.


Ron

[nat_at772]

Originally Posted by Ron.

It's not the first time you've said things like this. I'll keep the rest of my thoughts to myself.


For the record..I wear Brooks Brothers and North Face.

Not a joke.


Ron

I can't wear FUBU...my butt's not big enough..same for Apple Bottoms...I always wonder what shape they had in mind when they designed those That Buffy The body chick