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Old 12-28-2009, 03:15 PM
 
Location: Ft Lauderdale, FL
259 posts, read 497,515 times
Reputation: 223
Quote:
Originally Posted by thriftylefty View Post
I think older black women can find good black men easier because at a certain age you would expect that he is a finished product. Younger men and women have to look for things that will tell them that a 24-35 year old will eventually be a good choice. Young black women have to learn to look for potential in a young dude who may not have read all the classics yet, or passed the bar yet, or even thought about an investment or stock fund yet. Instead of looking for perfection look for potential. You may have to have your own set of criteria. Like does he have a membership cards? library, AAA, Red Cross, NAACP, or will he stay home and watch his sister's kids instead of going to the club(BTDT)
I understand your point but settling for "potential" is easier said than done. There are plenty of men out there that have "potential" but could also sit on that "potential" and literally rot for years and never do anything with it. Trust me, I've seen it and done it. Then you're stuck looking at this guy that had "potential" for the rest of your life. I'd say you need a combination of BOTH potential, logic, realistic goals, as well as motivation.

 
Old 12-28-2009, 03:16 PM
 
290 posts, read 606,789 times
Reputation: 317
Quote:
Originally Posted by msindy32 View Post
Where are all the good black men? The ones with jobs, the ones with respect, the ones that are affectionate, the ones who can tell the truth, the ones that are ok with having only 1 woman, the ones that really wanna do something with you besides just have sex! Where are they let me know please!
The type of Black man that you are looking for (I have read your responses throughout this thread) is very rare in the United States. Those who say "they are out there," "Pray about it," "keep waiting," "work on yourself" etc are either misinformed or deliberately giving you malicious advice.

IMHO opinion, there are two main (healthy) options.

1) Leave out the "Black" part and just look for a good man period. There are plenty of men who are your equal and would love to marry and treat you well. You don't have to lower your standards. There's nothing wrong with wanting a man who matches what you are bringing to the table. Why not give men of other races a chance?

2) Relocate to an area where there are an abundance of Black men who may fit your criteria-ex West Africa. You will have to leave the United States to do this. Or, you can import a man from one of these places to marry.

But please don't continue to sit around and waste your life waiting on some imaginary Black prince. It's one thing to have a preference. But if your preference is not available, survival dictates that you keep it moving.
 
Old 12-28-2009, 03:18 PM
Status: "Proud to not be a Dylan fan." (set 7 days ago)
 
Location: So Cal
24,368 posts, read 18,078,486 times
Reputation: 22934
Quote:
Originally Posted by abrown17 View Post
The type of Black man that you are looking for (I have read your responses throughout this thread) is very rare in the United States. Those who say "they are out there," "Pray about it," "keep waiting," "work on yourself" etc are either misinformed or deliberately giving you malicious advice.

IMHO opinion, there are two main (healthy) options.

1) Leave out the "Black" part and just look for a good man period. There are plenty of men who are your equal and would love to marry and treat you well. You don't have to lower your standards. There's nothing wrong with wanting a man who matches what you are bringing to the table. Why not give men of other races a chance?

2) Relocate to an area where there are an abundance of Black men who may fit your criteria-ex West Africa. You will have to leave the United States to do this. Or, you can import a man from one of these places to marry.

But please don't continue to sit around and waste your life waiting on some imaginary Black prince. It's one thing to have a preference. But if your preference is not available, survival dictates that you keep it moving.
This post has some passive aggressive anti-black male tone to it.

 
Old 12-28-2009, 03:30 PM
 
290 posts, read 606,789 times
Reputation: 317
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
This post has some passive aggressive anti-black male tone to it.

No. This post has concrete solutions that a Black woman can take to ensure that she ends up in the best possible relationship. Unfortunately, most people are not used to and strongly resist it when a Black woman makes choices that benefit herself, ie steps out of the "mule" role. Your post is evidence of that.
 
Old 12-28-2009, 03:34 PM
Status: "Proud to not be a Dylan fan." (set 7 days ago)
 
Location: So Cal
24,368 posts, read 18,078,486 times
Reputation: 22934
Quote:
Originally Posted by abrown17 View Post
No. This post has concrete solutions that a Black woman can take to ensure that she ends up in the best possible relationship. Unfortunately, most people are not used to and strongly resist it when a Black woman makes choices that benefit herself, ie steps out of the "mule" role. Your post is evidence of that.
My post is evidence of me wanting black women to be in mule role.

Whatever.

You gotta give me a map of how you jumped to that conclusion. I merely meant that the posting sounded like there weren't any black guys worth anything out there.

BTW, that's an old tactic.
 
Old 12-28-2009, 03:45 PM
 
290 posts, read 606,789 times
Reputation: 317
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
My post is evidence of me wanting black women to be in mule role.

Whatever.

You gotta give me a map of how you jumped to that conclusion. I merely meant that the posting sounded like there weren't any black guys worth anything out there.

BTW, that's an old tactic.
Try using the same map that led you to believe I was "passively aggressively" adopting an anti-Black male stance. As for old tactics, I won't even touch your straw man argument.

Once again, I supplied solutions that a Black woman can take to ensure that she ends up in a happy, healthy relationship. It's not about Black men, or any other men. The focus of my post is on Black women and their choices.

If you are not a Black woman who feels disheartened about the Black male romantic prospects available to her, then this particular message is not intended for you. I have nothing further to say to you on this matter.
 
Old 12-28-2009, 04:57 PM
 
Location: Transition Island
947 posts, read 1,380,107 times
Reputation: 333
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
Try being a middle aged white dude.

Every friggin serial killer that comes along is usually a white male, 30 to 50 yrs old 5'10 to 6'1 160lbs to 200lb.

Oh well, what can you do.

I think the only exception was the black dude a couple yrs ago in the DC area, shooting people from the trunk of his car.

I think they just fried that dude recently.



Beltway sniper attacks - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

No we have the newest one from Cleveland, and boy was it horrendous. All kinds of female corpses laying around the house. He had been murdering them for years and never put any of them in a grave, although he started to dig one. Look it up because it was all over the news.
 
Old 12-28-2009, 06:09 PM
 
Location: Beautiful Pelham Pkwy (da Bronx)
966 posts, read 1,368,301 times
Reputation: 540
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shysister View Post
You sound like a GREAT woman and ANY man should be honored to have you.
Hey, thank you so much.
 
Old 12-28-2009, 06:12 PM
 
Location: Beautiful Pelham Pkwy (da Bronx)
966 posts, read 1,368,301 times
Reputation: 540
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikki9947 View Post
I understand your point but settling for "potential" is easier said than done. There are plenty of men out there that have "potential" but could also sit on that "potential" and literally rot for years and never do anything with it. Trust me, I've seen it and done it. Then you're stuck looking at this guy that had "potential" for the rest of your life. I'd say you need a combination of BOTH potential, logic, realistic goals, as well as motivation.
So true, which is why they warn women to never fall in love with a man's potential.
 
Old 12-28-2009, 06:36 PM
 
Location: Wherever the Army sends us.
148 posts, read 214,875 times
Reputation: 156
Quote:
Originally Posted by samston View Post
I thought the "angry black woman" thing was just a stereotype?
None of her post sounded angry to me... maybe you are too sensitive?
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