Where have all the good black men gone? (long-term, lesbian, mature)

[viv_smi98]

Originally Posted by Hoarfrost

The worst. I can find a black girl into indie rock or world film, but I've yet to even hear of the existence of a black female atheist or even agnostic. On the contrary, most of the relationship material black girls(and guys too) attend church regularly and quite seriously. If Black people are 12% of the population, Black females are 6%( +/-. x%), assuming that Blacks are non-religious at the same rate as the population as a whole(and this is wholly untrue) that would leave a fragment of a percent of the total population as eligible. Simple arithmetic would illustrate that at that point you are much more likely to end up with a member of the majority population group.

Being black and non religious is almost as bad as being black and gay.

Hello. I exist. *cough*

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by SoEdible

To me, a white woman isn't going to ruin her nice hairstyle by water just like a black woman.

He-he, I don't know about that... When I go to the beach I go to the beach! My hair is wet at all times and I couldn't care less what it looks like. Same goes for everybody else on the beach. I've never even seen a woman wearing a cap.

To tell you the truth, I don't see many Black people on the beaches for some reason, though. And I'm not talking about the beaches close to AZ because there are very few Blacks in AZ. However, in Mexico, where Americans from all over the place go I don't see many Blacks. Perhaps they go to the Caribbean islands since it's more convenient from the states they're concentrated more...

[dreamgirl84]

You never hear White women asking "Where are all of the Good White men?" and bemoaning the fact that a lot of White men have Asian wives/girlfriends etc.

A lot of Black women need to stop asking the question because we already know the answer.

Why is it necessary to be in denial about the state of the Black man/Black woman relationship in this nation? Black American men are not going to magically reverse course simply at our will to have them in our lives as mates.

Black women need to expand their horizons and simply prepare themselves to be with non-Black men as an option.


I was gonna address this sentence but it needs its own thread, (anyone care to start it). But I will ask this.... Will White,and Asian men be as open to dating Black women as White and Asian women are to dating Black men... Im not saying its not out there, but we all know the latter is much more common.

[calipoppy]

Originally Posted by Professor Griff

The fact that you think that most black men who date outside their race are expressing "self hatred", to me, is a load of crap. As humans, we will be attracted to other humans who merely happen to be of another race. It is ignorant to charge one group (out of how many inhabitants on this Earth) with expressing self hatred for having attractions outside of their own. I hate how the black community puts us in such a little box, where we're expected to all have the same inner "self hatred" and maintain the same preferences. Excuse me, but it's bull. Maybe you hate yourself, but I certainly don't, and I don't need to date a black woman to prove it either.

On the other hand, I'm attracted to all shades of black women. Dark, light, caramel, I love them all. My male friends feel the same. Maybe it's different in STL, and if so, I need to move there and scoop up some of the excess dark skinned women that the others are ignoring. Still, if the person who I believe embodies the qualities I want in a woman happens to be white, it's gonna be later for y'all and every other woman on the planet for that matter.

As an aside, I have a friend. Black guy, handsome, physically fit (personal trainer), extremely proper, and married to a white woman. I could not see him with any other woman. Firstly, most black women that I know couldn't even relate to his interests. He loves anime, he's a huge electronica/trance fan, he's an avid RPG game player (that's Role Playing Game, ie Legend of Zelda), he's simply not what you would expect of the typical black male his age (26). The black women that I've seen who do have those similar interests are with white men, and understandably so. Our race severely limits itself. Comedians joke about it all the time: "now you know blacks don't ski!"...."you aint never gonna see a black person camping out in no woods!".."What the hell is Chateau Margeux? Nah, I needs some Grey Goose in my life!"...etc

I find myself in this dilemma also. I'm a 27 yu/o black male, a civil engineer, I dont watch much sports, I'm not very religious (can't find too many black female skeptics), I'm a geek who studies ADC street maps for fun, and I'm also a huge electronica/trance/house fan. Yet, I am attracted to black women. It's extremely difficult to find a black woman who at least has some interests that align with mine, even in my career field! The good black men are here. I am one! But black women are limiting themselves with their preferences and pushing us to the side. Even as attractive as I've been told I am, I've been pushed to the side my fair share of times.

You are in the wrong location if you are looking for Black women with your listed interests. You would need to be in either Southern Calif or the NYC area.

[calipoppy]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

He-he, I don't know about that... When I go to the beach I go to the beach! My hair is wet at all times and I couldn't care less what it looks like. Same goes for everybody else on the beach. I've never even seen a woman wearing a cap.

To tell you the truth, I don't see many Black people on the beaches for some reason, though. And I'm not talking about the beaches close to AZ because there are very few Blacks in AZ. However, in Mexico, where Americans from all over the place go I don't see many Blacks. Perhaps they go to the Caribbean islands since it's more convenient from the states they're concentrated more...

Don't be silly. We (Black women) go to the beach. We swim. Some of us scuba or snorkel.

I'm from California so we go to Cabo more than the Carribean but we have traveled all over. I also grew up with a pool in the backyard so swimming was a must.....hair be damned

[calipoppy]

Originally Posted by dreamgirl84

Black women need to expand their horizons and simply prepare themselves to be with non-Black men as an option.


I was gonna address this sentence but it needs its own thread, (anyone care to start it). But I will ask this.... Will White,and Asian men be as open to dating Black women as White and Asian women are to dating Black men... Im not saying its not out there, but we all know the latter is much more common.

I have dated White (several), Latino(numerous), Asian(2) and mixed race (several) men as well as Black men. So I don't understand when Black women have this "fear" of men of other races. Men are men. Attraction is attraction. Love is love.

If a nice guy (no matter the race) asks me out (and I think that there is some chemistry), I go.

I also know two married couples who happen to be Asian man/Black woman. Both couples are professional people with long term loving relationships and children.

Black women...be open and try something new. There's nothing to lose and everything to gain.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by calipoppy

Don't be silly. We (Black women) go to the beach. We swim. Some of us scuba or snorkel.

Seriously, I don't see many Blacks on the beaches - I'm talking Cancun & Riviera Maya, Puerto Vallarta, Acapulco. I don't go to Cabo. I guess Mexico is more convenient for the left side of the country and Blacks are concentrated more on the right side...

I also grew up with a pool in the backyard so swimming was a must.....hair be damned

That's the way to go!

Btw, speaking of hair, you guys are really somewhat obsessed with it! Nataleyjones (a forum member) once mentioned she had a whole ROOM dedicated to wigs!

[calipoppy]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

Seriously, I don't see many Blacks on the beaches - I'm talking Cancun & Riviera Maya, Puerto Vallarta, Acapulco. I don't go to Cabo. I guess Mexico is more convenient for the left side of the country and Blacks are concentrated more on the right side...

Then you would probably need to catch some of the Blacks that are on the cruise ships (more bang for the buck)

That's the way to go!

Btw, speaking of hair, you guys are really somewhat obsessed with it! Nataleyjones (a forum member) once mentioned she had a whole ROOM dedicated to wigs!

Also, I have natural (unrelaxed/unwigged/unweaved) hair so getting it wet isn't a big deal unless I have a function to attend and I've just had it done...then its a no-go!

Just and FYI - All women are obsessed with hair. Black women tend to focus on getting the right length and White women tend to focus on keeping their's bleached blonde.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by calipoppy

Just and FYI - All women are obsessed with hair. Black women tend to focus on getting the right length and White women tend to focus on keeping their's bleached blonde.

He-he, I waste my time on making curls. Wanna grow me a curly wig?

[Hoarfrost]

Originally Posted by viv_smi98

Hello. I exist. *cough*

Well that's one that I know of now. So at least it isn't just a theoretical.