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This is true, but I notice that even when I travel to other cities I never have any problems attracting men (of various races).
Whether I'm in NYC, Dallas, Miami, Denver, Phoenix, DC, Charlotte, etc - I never have a problem. And I am always approached by non-Black men.
Being openminded to dating interracially also means that ones body language needs to indicate the same. If a Black woman does not "appear" to be approachable...she won't be approached.
Im sorry, but is there some special body langauge that White, and Asian men respond to, that Black men dont require? Please dont start with the whole Black women are not approachable, how are we any more unapproachable than other women? Are we suppose to walk around constantly winking and smiling?
Wow, I dont know where to begin! Well for starters Im a single Black female who also finds dating a little hard. I wont go so far as to throw all Black men under the bus though. Yeah Im tired of the ones not interested in upward mobility, however there are Black men who are. They just dont live near me! lol But like i said, Im not giving up on them.
Okay so Im gonna take a shot at honestly explaining why (from my point of view) its such a slap in the face (sometimes) when we see successful Black men or women dating/marrying outside of the race. I personally feel like the issues in our community can be fixed at the root, which is family. We are still trying to build strong Black families. Families, where the are 2 parents who have had higher education, stable careers, and have high morals and values. I feel there are Black women and men who are this way, and they cant find each other, or unfortunately may not be interested.
There is obviously a higher rate of Black men dating outside of their race, than women. Usually they are the successful men, Black women are looking for. So this is why we sometimes get a little bitter. Lets be honest, Black women aren't usually high up on the totem pole when it comes to the worlds most desireable women. So when our "own" men arent dating us...that can leave a bit of sour taste in our mouths...
A couple of people mentioned that Black women should just date outside their race, and im thinking "easier said than done!" I have a couple of my own personal theories behind this (dont jump all over me)...
I get the feeling "other" men arent usually attracted to, or interested in seriously dating, and, or marrying Black women. Lets take White and Asian men for example, we all know what is considered beautiful in these cultures. Slim, "fair", and long flowing hair, is usually what makes up a "hot" woman according to White and Asian men. Now there are slim, lightskinned/biraical, black women with long tresses, however, a good number of us have chocolate complexions, ethnic features , with hips and booty. (Hair is not an issue anymore, we've sorted that out!) I dont know about everyone else but I live in NYC, and I almost never see White or Asian men with darkskinned (Black) women on their arm. Im not saying it doesnt happen, Im just saying its not common. (Where Im from) Im not leaving out my lightskinned and biracial sistas on purpose, but they tend be more excepted.
But its not entirely the fault of 'other' men, that Black women arent dating outside of their race. I'll be the first to admit I prefer Black men and (no offense) Im not personally attracted to men of other races. Notice how I said personally, I definitely see White and Asian men that are attractive, Im just not attracted to them...
As for successful Black men... , I see them walking around with every flavor there is which leaves me thinking two things... Successful Black men are desireable to many types of women, and Black men are becoming less interested with women of their race..
I purposely left out Hispanic/Latino men because they are in the same boat as Black men in terms of upward mobility, (where Im from) but they do date black women more than their White, and Asian counterparts.
your thoughts... (dont jump all over me though)
I've been with White, Hispanic, and Asian men. I get apporoached by all races of men. I have no problem attracting any type of man. I'm dark skinned, I have an hourglass body and my hair is natural. I'm beautiful. The myth that Black women are unattractive is false. The media likes to think that light skin is the end all and be all and its not. I see more White/Asian men with dark skinned women than light skinned women.
No problem. All the British men I ever knew were quite nice, that's why I married one!!
(not black, though..)
I must admit it blows my mind when a bloke like Lenny Henry (married to the big, beautiful Dawn French, by the way) talks. When I lived in England and heard any persons of color with posh or just 'regional' accents it was so weird.
I guess it's being in the USA. You expect a Black guy to be like "WASSUP?" instead of "Hello, how are you..?"
Like you said, "YOU expect a Black guy to be like "WASSUP", that's your own pre conceived judgement though... Do you know how many of the non desireable Black men open with "Excuse miss, can I talk to for a second" Its actually funny, because Im thinking, yeah If you had a job and werent standing on this block this morning when I left for work... (and youre still there when Im coming back from night classes) lol
"When I actually visited USA many years ago, and I started conversing with people they were absolutely flabbergasted that I had an English accent. They were taken aback by it. They were expecting a normal run-of-the-mill black American accent. It was amusing to be honest, and some women found me fascinating just because of me accent, lol. "
Its funny you say that because I work with Brits every summer, this past summer we had a few Blacks from England and the first thing he said to me is "Whaddup Yo"... I thought, wow, I gotta take this stereotypical nonsense from him too...
That's what I'm talking about! I hate when Black guys bother me when I'm going to work, when I jog, or when I'm shopping with all of that "wassup boo?" bull****.
How is it dumb that I'm stating my preference I don't like Black men, I never have and I never will. That's my opinion. That's what I've seen around DC and I don't like it. Why does that make me a bad person?
I dont think it makes you a bad person, but whenever anyone declares they wouldnt EVER have anything to do with men of their own race... this rings off alarms... Assuming you're happy with who you are, and find beauty in yourself and race as a whole...then why wouldnt you have ever been interested in Black men? Im not getting on your case, Its an honest question...
I've been with White, Hispanic, and Asian men. I get apporoached by all races of men. I have no problem attracting any type of man. I'm dark skinned, I have an hourglass body and my hair is natural. I'm beautiful. The myth that Black women are unattractive is false. The media likes to think that light skin is the end all and be all and its not. I see more White/Asian men with dark skinned women than light skinned women.
Im just speaking from personal experience... its what I see... BTW, where do you live?
I think that this last two lines pretty much sum up your stance.
With that being said, there is no need to drag these multitudes of Black men through the mud with nasty name-calling. By doing so you are proving that you are no better than those that you attempt to defame. Not very classy at all. I suspect that with an attitude like that you won't be attracting many "classy" men of other races either.
So? Who cares? Black men suck. I don't like Black men end of story. I'm just stating my opinion.
I've been with White, Hispanic, and Asian men. I get apporoached by all races of men. I have no problem attracting any type of man. I'm dark skinned, I have an hourglass body and my hair is natural. I'm beautiful. The myth that Black women are unattractive is false. The media likes to think that light skin is the end all and be all and its not. I see more White/Asian men with dark skinned women than light skinned women.
Im just speaking from personal experience... its what I see... BTW, where do you live?
I live in SE DC. I moved there a couple of years ago because my mom lost our house when my dad divorced her. I used to live in Adams Morgan/Columbia Heights Area. I went to a VA high school and I go to university in VA. I spent most of my time in VA. I never stay near my house because SE is so boring and most of my friends live in Mclean, Vienna, Arlington.
How is it dumb that I'm stating my preference I don't like Black men, I never have and I never will. That's my opinion. That's what I've seen around DC and I don't like it. Why does that make me a bad person?
I dont think it makes you a bad person, but whenever anyone declares they wouldnt EVER have anything to do with men of their own race... this rings off alarms... Assuming you're happy with who you are, and find beauty in yourself and race as a whole...then why wouldnt you have ever been interested in Black men? Im not getting on your case, Its an honest question...
I'm just not interested in Black men. I don't see many of them as attractive and I don't find them very manly like other races of men. Why would I date someone I'm not attracted to? Yeah, personality in the best thing but there has to be some level of attractiveness for me to like you. I dated a couple of Black guys to please my mom's family(they are my Black American side) they were nice guys but I just wasn't interested. I'm Black, Puerto Rican, Dominican, Jamaican anyways so I'm not obligated to take interest in Black American men. I don't identify with my Black American side at all. I consider myself to be a Caribbean or a Latina before anything.I think they only time I would ever date a Black is if he is a Black Latino or a Black African.
I live in SE DC. I moved there a couple of years ago because my mom lost our house when my dad divorced her. I used to live in Adams Morgan/Columbia Heights Area. I went to a VA high school and I go to university in VA. I spent most of my time in VA. I never stay near my house because SE is so boring and most of my friends live in Mclean, Vienna, Arlington.
ohh,okay... Well I guess depending on location, many things can vary. Well, if i ever lose interest in Black men, I'll keep DC/VA in mind..
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Okay so Im gonna take a shot at honestly explaining why (from my point of view) its such a slap in the face (sometimes) when we see successful Black men or women dating/marrying outside of the race. I personally feel like the issues in our community can be fixed at the root, which is family. We are still trying to build strong Black families. Families, where the are 2 parents who have had higher education, stable careers, and have high morals and values. I feel there are Black women and men who are this way, and they cant find each other, or unfortunately may not be interested.
dont jump all over me)...
) I dont know about everyone else but I live in NYC, and I almost never see White or Asian men with darkskinned (Black) women on their arm. Im not saying it doesnt happen, Im just saying its not common. (Where Im from) Im not leaving out my lightskinned and biracial sistas on purpose, but they tend be more excepted.
, I see them walking around with every flavor there is which leaves me thinking two things... Successful Black men are desireable to many types of women, and Black men are becoming less interested with women of their race..
Yikes, hope you dont have a son...