Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 01-10-2010, 10:38 PM
 
Location: Center of the universe
24,645 posts, read 38,566,068 times
Reputation: 11780

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isa77 View Post
Well we shouldn't be cause they are not loyal to us. We as black women need to wake up and shake off this thought that our future can only be with a black man.

We certainly are. You just have to open your eyes.

 
Old 01-11-2010, 09:24 AM
 
484 posts, read 1,214,053 times
Reputation: 441
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliDude1 View Post
On a personal note my parents were teens when they had me. They never married and broke up soon after I was born. My wife's parents did marry but went through a horrible divorce that tore their family apart. I have a number of half siblings as does my wife. When I look at my wife and our two kids (that were born after we married) I realize this is much bigger than her and I. This is about way more than a checklist of mate qualities. This is about so much more than being "upwardly mobile." For us, this is about changing the direction of our families. My parents never married. My father's parents never married. My mother's parents never married. And by that you can guess the kinds of lives my family members have lived. Yet my son and daughter were born to married mother and father. That may mean nothing to you or anyone else. However, for me that runs deeper than any conversation about mate qualities and education level. The daily decision that my wife and I make to give of ourselves into this union is literally breaking down barriers for our son and daughter. Years from now when I am gone I hope my posterity can look back at my wife and I and say the direction our family line changed with us.
This resonates so much with me because it is my life as well. We (men, women, and particularly black folks) spend so much effort being "upwardly mobile" that we forget that our legacy on this earth is the family we leave behind.
 
Old 01-11-2010, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Columbus, Ohio
1,781 posts, read 2,674,570 times
Reputation: 7071
Exclamation Okay...And Now, A Different Take

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isa77 View Post
Well we shouldn't be cause they are not loyal to us. We as black women need to wake up and shake off this thought that our future can only be with a black man.
Hmmm...my wife would beg to differ with you about the first part of your post, and as for the last part, well if black women choose to seek a future with non-black men, then I won't be mad at 'em...

However, and I KNOW I'm gonna have a few bricks thrown at me for this line of reasoning, SOME black women (note I emphasized SOME very strongly---I'm NOT trying to paint all you ladies with the same brush!) really need to re-examine their choice of mate-material, just like a LOT of us men need to quit using the excuse that 'black women are loud, evil, demanding and just plain mean' to justify dating outside our race...

Black men and women alike should be able to date and marry outside thier race (yeah I said it, now for the other part), if they truly love that other person, and AREN'T doing it because they have dealt with too many thugs and knuckleheads (ladies) and witches-with-attitude-with-baby-daddy-drama (men), and are at the point that they feel those of their own race can't satisfy them...but that's just MY take on the matter
 
Old 01-11-2010, 12:28 PM
 
Location: Orlando, FL
12,200 posts, read 18,335,140 times
Reputation: 6655
Quote:
Originally Posted by captaincatfish View Post
Hmmm...my wife would beg to differ with you about the first part of your post, and as for the last part, well if black women choose to seek a future with non-black men, then I won't be mad at 'em...

However, and I KNOW I'm gonna have a few bricks thrown at me for this line of reasoning, SOME black women (note I emphasized SOME very strongly---I'm NOT trying to paint all you ladies with the same brush!) really need to re-examine their choice of mate-material, just like a LOT of us men need to quit using the excuse that 'black women are loud, evil, demanding and just plain mean' to justify dating outside our race...

Black men and women alike should be able to date and marry outside thier race (yeah I said it, now for the other part), if they truly love that other person, and AREN'T doing it because they have dealt with too many thugs and knuckleheads (ladies) and witches-with-attitude-with-baby-daddy-drama (men), and are at the point that they feel those of their own race can't satisfy them...but that's just MY take on the matter
I agree with your take Captain...lol don't be talking at me all sideways cause Ashley talked you into cosigning for her car then bucked with all your stuff in the trunk
 
Old 01-11-2010, 01:45 PM
 
Location: Columbus, Ohio
1,781 posts, read 2,674,570 times
Reputation: 7071
Exclamation Nat...You Are A National Treasure!

Quote:
Originally Posted by natalayjones View Post
I agree with your take Captain...lol don't be talking at me all sideways cause Ashley talked you into cosigning for her car then bucked with all your stuff in the trunk
Girl, you're lucky I hadn't had my afternoon 'coffee' (read cocoa for me LOL), 'cause that Ashley mess would have made me lose it all over my monitor...THAT was hilarious
 
Old 01-11-2010, 02:02 PM
 
Location: My Private Island
4,941 posts, read 8,311,143 times
Reputation: 12283
Just checking in to see if someone had found them yet...........no.........ok then, the search continues................
 
Old 01-11-2010, 02:48 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,364 posts, read 14,646,191 times
Reputation: 10384
I knew this would be a crap thread the moment it appeared. The stereotypes, bigotry and self-hatred on display here is quite sade -- and I see it from people who claim to be a variety of races. That's your loss though, people who think this way are missing out.
 
Old 01-11-2010, 05:57 PM
 
Location: Transition Island
1,679 posts, read 2,537,120 times
Reputation: 721
Quote:
Originally Posted by enigmaingr View Post
This resonates so much with me because it is my life as well. We (men, women, and particularly black folks) spend so much effort being "upwardly mobile" that we forget that our legacy on this earth is the family we leave behind.
Now this is the thought pattern that needs to be adopted by many. It is about the legacy of family and that is about it folks!!
 
Old 01-11-2010, 06:00 PM
 
Location: Transition Island
1,679 posts, read 2,537,120 times
Reputation: 721
Quote:
Originally Posted by captaincatfish View Post
Hmmm...my wife would beg to differ with you about the first part of your post, and as for the last part, well if black women choose to seek a future with non-black men, then I won't be mad at 'em...

However, and I KNOW I'm gonna have a few bricks thrown at me for this line of reasoning, SOME black women (note I emphasized SOME very strongly---I'm NOT trying to paint all you ladies with the same brush!) really need to re-examine their choice of mate-material, just like a LOT of us men need to quit using the excuse that 'black women are loud, evil, demanding and just plain mean' to justify dating outside our race...

Black men and women alike should be able to date and marry outside thier race (yeah I said it, now for the other part), if they truly love that other person, and AREN'T doing it because they have dealt with too many thugs and knuckleheads (ladies) and witches-with-attitude-with-baby-daddy-drama (men), and are at the point that they feel those of their own race can't satisfy them...but that's just MY take on the matter
Although I would not be capable or willing to date outside of my race, I have many family members that are doing it. Two of my nieces are married to Caucasian men and not because they do not love black men, they just broadened their horizons to accept all races of men and these men were the ones that each of them were most compatible with and both of them have children with their husbands and seem to be very happy in their choices.
 
Old 01-11-2010, 07:05 PM
 
10,793 posts, read 13,510,458 times
Reputation: 6189
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch View Post
Can you please describe these 'good black men' for me? In some detail?

I suspect they're where the rest of the 'good men' are: All around you.

They're the ones who are more quiet, not advertising to everyone who will listen that they have a job -- because they're too busy DOING that job and holding down payments and commitments.

They're the ones who are often overlooked because they're not loud or flashy. They drive a good car, maybe even a nice car, but it's not pimped out and drawing the stare; instead it's practical and efficient and slides right on by without drawing notice. The car, by the way, lacks a giant, vibrating heartbeat.

They don't garner attention right away because their pants are pulled up, their shirts are tucked in and they're not screaming or waving their hands at everything.

You might have missed them on the street; they're not readily visible because they're not THERE, they're at work holding down that job you so crave as a qualification.

Funny thing: The "good black men" are ALL OVER THE PLACE, about 50 percent or so (as is the stat with any race or creed) of the population, but they don't draw attention to themselves.


I advise you to take another look, a CLOSER look. Go to a supermarket or a restaurant or a church or a business setting.


Once you're there, take a look around for the guys you normally wouldn't give a second glance -- not because you WANT to look at trash, but because the trash is screaming and jumping and drawing your attention to it, hindering your search for the GOOD man, whatever his color.

And many of them are, indeed, taken; married; in a relationship they don't care to step out on.

So when you spot one who's already taken, well, he's out of bounds, off-limits. But don't let that stop you from studying him and his situation; you should be doing that very, very attentively.

Take a good look at HIS WIFE. See what she does. See how she acts. See how she dresses and how she interacts with him. After all, if you want to catch a tiger you've got to think like a tiger, not like a woman who says "Why can't I catch a tiger?"

Right own 'Quatch!!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top