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I try not to criticize people because I work with all different classes and kinds of people at work everyday. Some people can't be judged solely on looks, income or where they live. People who most people think don't have two Nickles to rub together actually end up being very nice and always pay their bill on time. OTOH, people who live in elite neighborhoods sometimes are very rude and take forever to get your money. People sometimes judge me by the way I look when I get off work. However, they don't judge me when they don't have any heat or A/C? Odd, as that has always been a mystery to me? Being the son of the Mayor I get the response later from some "you sure clean up nicely". Well, I don't look like I just left work all the time. I can and do dress up when I'm not working. It slays me how someone who is so judgmental of me is the first to ask for my help when they really need it the most? Obviously not everyone judges me without getting to know me first. When the P.D. is having a problem I'm the first one they think of. They respect me as a person and my mechanical abilities. They even invite me to their houses for dinner occasionally. The bottom line is it pays to be nice to others.
Criticism to me is someone without probable causes and motivations who attacks someone to increase their own ego. That is the difference.
I asked this question because I had a very strange scenerio once at work. There was this woman hired to help me with the sales end of a major project I was working on. While talking to customers I over heard her over and over again use the word "ideals" when it should have been "ideas." So, I just casually, almost jokingly (to make her less self conscious), corrected her and dismissed it as no big deal.
OH BUT it was a big deal come the next day when I was accused of being a racist by one of the managers for correcting/criticising her in a nutshell. Never mind that the manager who was also a person of color and I did a lot of stuff together outside of the office It turned into war of the worlds in that office. I won't hesitate to say I am caucasian and she was a person of color - but I handled it the way I would with anyone. My viewpoint was if I didn't say something then I was showing bias.
Was what I did criticism, racism or justified correction? This has always bothered me and wanted an outside opinion.
You did nothing wrong there. If I did, and I have done things wrong, I would want someone who knows better to correct me. OTOH, if you told her she has hammer toes and you haven't even seen her feet? LMAO......... I like to make people laugh if you haven't noticed yet in my post. Now if I could only get some of these single women in my life to stop laughing at me and give me their number? Oh well, it's a hoot anyway!
Last edited by 2RUGGED4YOU; 12-12-2009 at 05:29 PM..
No, it's usually an example of selfishness. Especially when others are expecting them at a specific time, being late is inconsiderate. Chronically late people simply refuse to alter their behavior by either starting earlier, preparing sooner, and/or doing things faster in order to be on time. Also, for many people being chronically late is a form of passive-aggressive behavior.
Oh, I know it's complete bs, but it's like these people got together to come up with the same story about how being on time is completely out of their hands. I say it's flakey, lazy, undisciplined, and selfish.
you should avoid attacking the person, as in 'you're too stupid to be doing that job'...or 'you can't speak well enough to work at the front desk'. Constructive criticism is what should be used and will get much better results. Anything demeaning only causes needless hurt and the person on the receiving end will feel bad and possibly carry a grudge and how does that solve a problem? There's just no reason to try to break someone's spirit. If you say 'how about you help me with this or that...' more than likely the person will understand without it creating a hostile environment and causing grief. Try to put yourself in their shoes before saying anything maybe.
But everybody is different, so relativism in this sense makes sense. So since everybody differs you have to account for how people react to things, their personality, etc.
It's a fact that not all persons are punctual. Some don't manage time as well as others do. Some are lazier than others, or less disciplined.
I guess it relates to how to manage and get on with others in life, since while we live in social settings, how we all perceive life, how we think, etc. is unique.
Total, absolute baloney. You cannot tell me that anyone with an IQ higher than a rhesus monkey can't look at a clock and say, "Why I need to meet X in one hour. I guess I need to leave now."
The truth is that person had made a decision, namely that meeting the other person on time isn't priority. You can bet your bottom dollar that the same person in question would be on time for a job interview or to catch a plane. But, in their self-centered world being on time to meet one's friends just isn't all that important.
Case in point? I just left a meeting with a vendor who was 15 minutes late. This is after she postponed my appointment twice, both times at the last minute. Mind you, I was asking her to bid on about $20,000 worth of work. Do you think I can entrust her with my assignment now? No freaking way.
Total, absolute baloney. You cannot tell me that anyone with an IQ higher than a rhesus monkey can't look at a clock and say, "Why I need to meet X in one hour. I guess I need to leave now."
The truth is that person had made a decision, namely that meeting the other person on time isn't priority. You can bet your bottom dollar that the same person in question would be on time for a job interview or to catch a plane. But, in their self-centered world being on time to meet one's friends just isn't all that important.
Case in point? I just left a meeting with a vendor who was 15 minutes late. This is after she postponed my appointment twice, both times at the last minute. Mind you, I was asking her to bid on about $20,000 worth of work. Do you think I can entrust her with my assignment now? No freaking way.
Honestly, she doesn't sound the least bit interested. Probably was hoping to shake you off , or something.
Total, absolute baloney. You cannot tell me that anyone with an IQ higher than a rhesus monkey can't look at a clock and say, "Why I need to meet X in one hour. I guess I need to leave now."
The truth is that person had made a decision, namely that meeting the other person on time isn't priority. You can bet your bottom dollar that the same person in question would be on time for a job interview or to catch a plane. But, in their self-centered world being on time to meet one's friends just isn't all that important.
Case in point? I just left a meeting with a vendor who was 15 minutes late. This is after she postponed my appointment twice, both times at the last minute. Mind you, I was asking her to bid on about $20,000 worth of work. Do you think I can entrust her with my assignment now? No freaking way.
So she is selfish, or not punctual.
I had a missed appointment too by the way, and I was pissed at it as well. but there are a multiplicity of different personalities in the world. Some respect others' time, others don't. Some are punctual, others can't keep time as well.
I often find it's best to work around others. As long as people respect my needs, I would respect theirs.
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Odd, as that has always been a mystery to me?
Being the son of the Mayor I get the response later from some "you sure clean up nicely". Well, I don't look like I just left work all the time.
It slays me how someone who is so judgmental of me is the first to ask for my help when they really need it the most? Obviously not everyone judges me without getting to know me first. When the P.D. is having a problem I'm the first one they think of. They respect me as a person and my mechanical abilities. They even invite me to their houses for dinner occasionally.
The bottom line is it pays to be nice to others.
Oh well, it's a hoot anyway!
