U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Happy Halloween!
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
 
Old 12-13-2009, 11:20 AM
 
900 posts, read 853,539 times
Reputation: 472
Default men like rubber bands

I read in Men are from Mars, Women from Venus that men are like rubber bands, they pull away sometimes for no reason. And then they come back when thier need for autonomy is fulfilled. Is this true, men? (Or women who have observed it.) please give examples. thank-you. Or do they maybe just come back when they need some s*ex??????
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-13-2009, 11:26 AM
 
Location: 2nd state in the union...
2,382 posts, read 2,517,828 times
Reputation: 1569
Quote:
Originally Posted by maddog1 View Post
I read in Men are from Mars, Women from Venus that men are like rubber bands, they pull away sometimes for no reason. And then they come back when thier need for autonomy is fulfilled. Is this true, men? (Or women who have observed it.) please give examples. thank-you. Or do they maybe just come back when they need some s*ex??????
Women do the same thing.

If I'm understanding your question right, I think many times it has to do with a fear of commitment or being hurt.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-13-2009, 12:02 PM
 
Location: Baltimore
738 posts, read 858,278 times
Reputation: 823
Quote:
Originally Posted by wigirl920 View Post
Women do the same thing.

If I'm understanding your question right, I think many times it has to do with a fear of commitment or being hurt.
It applies to me somewhat, but not because of a fear of commitment or being hurt, but because I just wanted to be left alone. In my past long-term relationship, I was seemingly her only source of a social life, which was draining. I was tired of being nagged, tired of arguments, tired of being made to feel guilty if I refused to run an errand she didn't feel like doing (and I'd done more than my fair share of errand-running for her). I was completely turned off by the relationship. I needed some "me" time, and a lot of it, so I respectfully broke it off with her.

Fast forward 6 months, now I don't want to be alone (that much) anymore. A lot of us like this. We need to get away and get back to ourselves, and after we think we've regrouped, we're ready to dive back into finding a partner. I hate how those books put both genders in a box. It's like those magazine articles that claim to have both men and women figured out. In this case, maybe I am like a rubber band, but I know a few females who are the same way.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-13-2009, 12:14 PM
 
Location: 2nd state in the union...
2,382 posts, read 2,517,828 times
Reputation: 1569
Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Griff View Post
It applies to me somewhat, but not because of a fear of commitment or being hurt, but because I just wanted to be left alone. In my past long-term relationship, I was seemingly her only source of a social life, which was draining. I was tired of being nagged, tired of arguments, tired of being made to feel guilty if I refused to run an errand she didn't feel like doing (and I'd done more than my fair share of errand-running for her). I was completely turned off by the relationship. I needed some "me" time, and a lot of it, so I respectfully broke it off with her.

Fast forward 6 months, now I don't want to be alone (that much) anymore. A lot of us like this. We need to get away and get back to ourselves, and after we think we've regrouped, we're ready to dive back into finding a partner. I hate how those books put both genders in a box. It's like those magazine articles that claim to have both men and women figured out. In this case, maybe I am like a rubber band, but I know a few females who are the same way.
Great point! Hadn't thought of it in that way..... I'm actually the same way myself. Thanks for setting me straight
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-13-2009, 12:18 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
44,301 posts, read 54,771,183 times
Reputation: 37020
Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Griff View Post
It applies to me somewhat, but not because of a fear of commitment or being hurt, but because I just wanted to be left alone. In my past long-term relationship, I was seemingly her only source of a social life, which was draining. I was tired of being nagged, tired of arguments, tired of being made to feel guilty if I refused to run an errand she didn't feel like doing (and I'd done more than my fair share of errand-running for her). I was completely turned off by the relationship. I needed some "me" time, and a lot of it, so I respectfully broke it off with her.

Fast forward 6 months, now I don't want to be alone (that much) anymore. A lot of us like this. We need to get away and get back to ourselves, and after we think we've regrouped, we're ready to dive back into finding a partner. I hate how those books put both genders in a box. It's like those magazine articles that claim to have both men and women figured out. In this case, maybe I am like a rubber band, but I know a few females who are the same way.


I think you have hit the nail of the head!

Emotionally healthy men do not want the responsibility of being a womans entire world, especially when they are just dating! It IS very draining when you have to be everything to her.

My son went thru a similar situation. He had a really sweet girlfriend, very pretty too, but she would not let him breathe!

He wanted her to have girl time with her friends, to have other interests to pursue, like he does. But all she wanted was to be everywhere he was. He chalked it up to her immaturity and decided he had to let her go until she grows up a bit.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-13-2009, 06:07 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
44,301 posts, read 54,771,183 times
Reputation: 37020
Quote:
Originally Posted by maddog1 View Post
I read in Men are from Mars, Women from Venus that men are like rubber bands, they pull away sometimes for no reason. And then they come back when thier need for autonomy is fulfilled. Is this true, men? (Or women who have observed it.) please give examples. thank-you. Or do they maybe just come back when they need some s*ex??????
Forgot to say, some will just keep coming back for the sex long after the relationship is really over - you have to be careful about that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-14-2009, 11:28 AM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,511 posts, read 11,674,205 times
Reputation: 9099
I'm a female and I've caught myself doing it more than once, usually when he started acting too eager, especially too soon. I like to take my time to get to know someone.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-14-2009, 03:07 PM
 
Location: Houston, Texas
1,082 posts, read 873,253 times
Reputation: 480
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Emotionally healthy men do not want the responsibility of being a womans entire world, especially when they are just dating! It IS very draining when you have to be everything to her.
I respectfully disagree. Some emotionally healthy men DO want this, and are capable of handling the responsibility with the care and attention it needs. A couple is supposed to be interdependent... dependent upon one another.

If a man needs to be needed it doesn't automatically mean he is emotionally unhealthy. In fact, the idea that men and women don't need each other is a direct response to feminist independence, a philosophy that tells men that women don't need them, men are disposable, and we men should stop trying to fill a woman's needs.

THAT, I assert, is the unhealthy approach. Men need to be needed. And women need a lot, they (more often than men) don't know what they want or need, they (more often than men) confuse their needs and wants, and very often what they want is contrary to what they need.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-14-2009, 03:12 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
44,301 posts, read 54,771,183 times
Reputation: 37020
Quote:
Originally Posted by smartalx View Post
I respectfully disagree. Some emotionally healthy men DO want this, and are capable of handling the responsibility with the care and attention it needs. A couple is supposed to be interdependent... dependent upon one another.

If a man needs to be needed it doesn't automatically mean he is emotionally unhealthy. In fact, the idea that men and women don't need each other is a direct response to feminist independence, a philosophy that tells men that women don't need them, men are disposable, and we men should stop trying to fill a woman's needs.

THAT, I assert, is the unhealthy approach. Men need to be needed. And women need a lot, they (more often than men) don't know what they want or need, they (more often than men) confuse their needs and wants, and very often what they want is contrary to what they need.
I agree with you, but I think we are talking about two different things

OF COURSE people need to be needed. But there has to exist a balance in this and it should never dip down into the clingy, needy type thing or it is unhealthy - that's the kind of need that I was referring to.

When a woman is so wrapped up in a man that she can't take a step without him - she won't go out with friends, won't develop her own passions or interests - this is not healthy and will turn most men off. Surely you would agree with this?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top