What a narcissist will say and do (wife, married, woman)

[PassTheChocolate]

I'm trying to put together some info for the abuse victims I work with. I've searched the net looking for examples of what narcissists might say and do and I have seen some good examples but wondered if any of you, either through experience or knowledge, have anything to contribute.

One example I found was from a woman who said her mother bought her a present and told her she wasn't sure it was the daughter's style, but it was hers (mom's) and if she didn't like it she (mom) could use a new purse.

"You always do things just to p*ss me off."

"You live to make me crazy."

[mrstewart]

You had it coming...

I am sorry but you....

That's not what I meant...

The list is endless!

[Whyte Byrd]

A musician, who will remain unnamed, died. Upon hearing of the death of the leader of their band, one member stoicly looked at another and asked, What's going to become of us now?

I thought that was rather narcissistic, although, they were genuinely distraught over the death--it just sounded bad to me.

[nebulous1]

I had one writing to me for awhile, till I stopped it. I would get letters with lines like

"I probably am doing better than you are."

"I drive caddys (yep, that's how it was spelled!) and I wear Ralph Lauren."

"My mother says I am handsome. Even my exwife still adores me."


I laughed back for awhile, then grew tired of the "Look at me" barrage.

[CTR36]

Everything he'll say and do is about himself. Coversation going on , he buts in and inserts himself into it being the best (insert object here).
For example I know a guy that is like this. Whenever we are having a conversation, say I am talking about my kids, he rudely interrupts and inserts HIS kids accomplishments and how they are so much like HIM when he was young, etc. Or if my kid is talking about his science test, HE used to ace the science tests as a young guy and even got into med school but changed his mind. Yes, I know a guy like this and HE IS MARRIED! Poor lady.

Plus he dominates the whole conversation and doesn't let anyone else talk!! We once had a party and this guy had a circle of men around him just looking at him for 3 hours and he was doing ALL the talking!
I just laughed.

[Whyte Byrd]

Originally Posted by CTR36

Everything he'll say and do is about himself. Coversation going on , he buts in and inserts himself into it being the best (insert object here).
For example I know a guy that is like this. Whenever we are having a conversation, say I am talking about my kids, he rudely interrupts and inserts HIS kids accomplishments and how they are so much like HIM when he was young, etc. Or if my kid is talking about his science test, HE used to ace the science tests as a young guy and even got into med school but changed his mind. Yes, I know a guy like this and HE IS MARRIED! Poor lady.

Plus he dominates the whole conversation and doesn't let anyone else talk!! We once had a party and this guy had a circle of men around him just looking at him for 3 hours and he was doing ALL the talking!
I just laughed.

LOL But I think I'm more concerned about the circle of men who were captivated by him for 3 hours.

[mango tango]

How ironic, PTC, that you started this thread today. . .

I do believe that a (once) dear friend of mine is a narcissist. Perhaps you can clarify for me?

She plays herself as the victim all the time. . . I can't think of a single occasion in which she's taken responsibility. She's also rather dependent on the attention of guys and flirts heavily to insure that she has that attention, although she denies it. She also has a tendency to state that she does (morally questionable) stuff - such as blatantly playing around with other people's feelings for the benefit of her self-esteem - simply because she "can." I think what really strikes me though is she always plays either the victim or innocence card. She really seems to hold herself up in this little disillusioned world. She's conceited, self-absorbed, selfish, and possesses a grandiose sense of self-importance.

Sigh, I like her, but this pattern in her behavior is really starting to become too much to handle.

[picklejuice]

Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate

I'm trying to put together some info for the abuse victims I work with. I've searched the net looking for examples of what narcissists might say and do and I have seen some good examples but wondered if any of you, either through experience or knowledge, have anything to contribute.

One example I found was from a woman who said her mother bought her a present and told her she wasn't sure it was the daughter's style, but it was hers (mom's) and if she didn't like it she (mom) could use a new purse.

"You always do things just to p*ss me off."

"You live to make me crazy."

Spot on!

Here's an example from my own family:

A brother's in-laws invited me, and another female family member ( the narcissist) over to their home for dinner. There were several people there we did not know. They weren't relatives, just friends of the couple/in-laws. Consequently, there were several different intimate conversations going on around the large dinner table at one time...

One of those conversations involved the female host and myself. I was asking about her elderly mother's stint as a singer in a group way back in the Big Band Era.

As she was about to answer me, my female family member, who was not involved in our conversation, blurted out at the top of her lungs that she had sung with a famous jazz musician's brother. Everyone around the table stopped the conversations they were having and just looked at her.

One-upmanship and attention hogging are sure signs of a true narcissist.

[sunshineleith]

Originally Posted by mango tango

How ironic, PTC, that you started this thread today. . .

I do believe that a (once) dear friend of mine is a narcissist. Perhaps you can clarify for me?

She plays herself as the victim all the time. . . I can't think of a single occasion in which she's taken responsibility. She's also rather dependent on the attention of guys and flirts heavily to insure that she has that attention, although she denies it. She also has a tendency to state that she does (morally questionable) stuff - such as blatantly playing around with other people's feelings for the benefit of her self-esteem - simply because she "can." I think what really strikes me though is she always plays either the victim or innocence card. She really seems to hold herself up in this little disillusioned world. She's conceited, self-absorbed, selfish, and possesses a grandiose sense of self-importance.

Sigh, I like her, but this pattern in her behavior is really starting to become too much to handle.

This sounds more like Borderline Personality Disorder to me . . .

[PassTheChocolate]

Originally Posted by mango tango

How ironic, PTC, that you started this thread today. . .

I do believe that a (once) dear friend of mine is a narcissist. Perhaps you can clarify for me?

She plays herself as the victim all the time. . . I can't think of a single occasion in which she's taken responsibility. She's also rather dependent on the attention of guys and flirts heavily to insure that she has that attention, although she denies it. She also has a tendency to state that she does (morally questionable) stuff - such as blatantly playing around with other people's feelings for the benefit of her self-esteem - simply because she "can." I think what really strikes me though is she always plays either the victim or innocence card. She really seems to hold herself up in this little disillusioned world. She's conceited, self-absorbed, selfish, and possesses a grandiose sense of self-importance.

Sigh, I like her, but this pattern in her behavior is really starting to become too much to handle.

Sounds like it to me, but I'm not going to presume to be qualified to say for sure. Healthy people want approval, appreciation and recognition to some degree. It's when it happens at the expense of others and oneself that it becomes a problem.

https://health.google.com/health/ref...ality+disorder