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I make a modest living. Own my own home, car is paid for, got my retirement plan. Couldn't do that flipping burgers as a full-time career.
I'm really surprised that people take such a negative view of wanting to know that a person you may seriously date in the future can contribute to their financial future. It's a serious thing to know. Between a burger-flipper and a plumber, I choose the plumber, hands down. I would be stupid to do otherwise. That's the way it is, that's life. Doesn't make me "mean". Makes me real.
But let me guess, you would only date for looooove. Yeah, that'll pay the bills.
I almost never ask women what they do for a living at least not on the first date.
Your job title is not an asset to your character. Nor does it mean you're a upstanding person.
I will ask (just as a part of getting to know someone) even before I accept the date - or ask them out.
I disagree with not knowing the job as not being important. While you are right that it doesn't necessarily mean anything, it still CAN mean a lot and have a lot of implications. On the flip side, there are some careers I actually consider completely unethical and demonstrate a serious lack of character...I need to know that up front.
I think someone would really have to know what I do and what it means to me. Lack of that understanding has ruined relationships in the past.
I make a modest living. Own my own home, car is paid for, got my retirement plan. Couldn't do that flipping burgers as a full-time career.
I'm really surprised that people take such a negative view of wanting to know that a person you may seriously date in the future can contribute to their financial future. It's a serious thing to know. Between a burger-flipper and a plumber, I choose the plumber, hands down. I would be stupid to do otherwise. That's the way it is, that's life. Doesn't make me "mean". Makes me real.
But let me guess, you would only date for looooove. Yeah, that'll pay the bills.
Agree, I'm with you on that. I earn a high salary as well, and I refuse to date women who earn considerably less than me. It's a recipe for disaster. Before I know, she'll be living off me and become a fat housewife. I do not want a housewife. My woman MUST work and not only that, she must hold down a job that pays VERY well. Financially speaking, we have to be on the same page.
I think it matters if you're going to be placing such value judgements. I recognize the need for money in our society, but I also recognize vast gluttony and shallow disrespect by the semi-privaledged. It also matters because this scenerio can easily be flipped on you (general you) in a variety of ways. And it doesn't have to be about money.
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I can be unemployed and still have that view.
Yea, and that would be a pot/kettle position; aka nonsense.
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If a 30-something person plans to make burger flipping his/her career, that's not a person one should be dating unless you plan to pay all the bills yourself. If all one can offer is just barely over minimum wage, that's not a person to get serious about. Sorry, no financial security there. And yes, one has to, or should, consider that when dating someone seriously.
I don't get all this "one" "one" "one" business, when it should simply be "you" "you" "you" or at least those in your circle. That circle is not national or global, which is my point. I know plenty of people that get by without. Most of the planet gets by with out.
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It just isn't practical to think you can live on love. You will learn that, too, one day. Love isn't the end-all be-all.
I'll learn that too? lol To share, I'm well into my 30's, married, and a professional career-wise. I just don't dig the looking down noses MO. Perhaps for some, flipping burgers is the best they can do. They'll marry their own. Just like I married my own and you married/date your own.
[quote=Dorrans;12112346]She didn't wanna say what she did for a living [ironic considering this thread lol] and if she is earning barely above minimum wage herself then she is hypocritical for dismissing a man who is earning more or less the same as her. [quote]
Why is it hypocritical? That would be very limiting in the long run. What if they want children? They wouldn't be able to support them, so that's out. There are plenty of women who work minimum wage jobs who, for one reason or another, have no other options. Should she really resign herself to a life of poverty?
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That's like me wanting a woman who looks like Halle Barry whilst I am very average myself.
Why would you not be worthy of a Halle Berry because you are average? Who says you shouldn't want and expect to have her?
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Originally Posted by steelstress
I make a modest living. Own my own home, car is paid for, got my retirement plan. Couldn't do that flipping burgers as a full-time career.
I'm really surprised that people take such a negative view of wanting to know that a person you may seriously date in the future can contribute to their financial future. It's a serious thing to know. Between a burger-flipper and a plumber, I choose the plumber, hands down. I would be stupid to do otherwise. That's the way it is, that's life. Doesn't make me "mean". Makes me real.
But let me guess, you would only date for looooove. Yeah, that'll pay the bills.
If you make so much per year, don't you dare expect to be with someone who makes twice as much as you do. Stick to your own kind, financially. Poppycock.
If you make so much per year, don't you dare expect to be with someone who makes twice as much as you do. Stick to your own kind, financially. Poppycock.
That's what she's arguing, unless it only goes one way --> financially phat male with financially substandard female. Flipping it around is a no-go, which is a wanting argument.
Another thing to consider is that the median household income in the US, consisting of two earners IIRC, is ~55k, which is penuts. Really, that's not much better than two earning 10-12/hr cooking patties.
That's what she's arguing, unless it only goes one way --> financially phat male with financially substandard female. Flipping it around is a no-go, which is a wanting argument.
Aye, it's I don't know whether to laugh or cry at it.
I don't want to go out with a girl who flips burgers at McDonalds, but then again I don't expect to bag a woman who is CEO of company and earns a huge six figure salary either [not that she'd give me a chance anyway]. I know where I stand financially. Some women have no problems dating a man who earns more than her, but someone who earns less than her is a no-go area. I've been rejected in the past cos apparently I wasn't earning enough.
Aye, it's I don't know whether to laugh or cry at it.
Well, it can be a dissapointing attitude. I don't think it's all about money, rather mostly compatibility.
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I don't want to go out with a girl who flips burgers at McDonalds, but then again I don't expect to bag a woman who is CEO of company and earns a huge six figure salary either [not that she'd give me a chance anyway]. I know where I stand financially. Some women have no problems dating a man who earns more than her, but someone who earns less than her is a no-go area. I've been rejected in the past cos apparently I wasn't earning enough.
My point here isn't to say that anybody or everybody should desire a person that flips burgers. Of course not. I just don't get the broad brushes. I, by no coincidence, married a man that can understand what the heck I'm talking about when I'm dismayed at work. We're of the same cloth. That wouldn't be the case with a person manning McD's. But, I will in no way dog someone working that job or state they don't deserve a relationship/marriage.
I don't care. If it's a respectable job that requires brains, the person takes it seriously and works with dedication, contributes to the community, etc, then salary-schmalary.
My wife makes significantly less than I do, but she is an MBA, works her patootie off, is considered the best at what she does, and brings home our invaluable health insurance.
I make a modest living. Own my own home, car is paid for, got my retirement plan. Couldn't do that flipping burgers as a full-time career.
I'm really surprised that people take such a negative view of wanting to know that a person you may seriously date in the future can contribute to their financial future. It's a serious thing to know. Between a burger-flipper and a plumber, I choose the plumber, hands down. I would be stupid to do otherwise. That's the way it is, that's life. Doesn't make me "mean". Makes me real.
But let me guess, you would only date for looooove. Yeah, that'll pay the bills.
If I'm paying the bills, as a single man, why wouldn't I be able to pay them once she came into the picture? Two can live as cheaply as one. Rent doesn't go up, electric bill's the same, etc.
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