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Old 12-21-2009, 07:24 PM
 
Location: Denver Metro
1,549 posts, read 2,578,701 times
Reputation: 1131

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Just wondered if anyone else on here has a spouse with a serious health condition or conditions that impact their spouse's day to day life, physical appearance, sex drive, sexual functioning, and general relationship. If so, how do you cope as a couple and how do you keep the spark alive? I also just want to hear if there are people out there like my husband and me.
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Old 12-21-2009, 09:25 PM
 
Location: Wyoming
9,724 posts, read 21,186,837 times
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You mean, like, besides aging?
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Old 12-21-2009, 09:41 PM
 
3,284 posts, read 3,517,308 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsRiss7383 View Post
Just wondered if anyone else on here has a spouse with a serious health condition or conditions that impact their spouse's day to day life, physical appearance, sex drive, sexual functioning, and general relationship. If so, how do you cope as a couple and how do you keep the spark alive? I also just want to hear if there are people out there like my husband and me.
So everyone else is supposed to air their dirty laundy and you won't!?
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Old 12-21-2009, 10:30 PM
 
Location: Denver Metro
1,549 posts, read 2,578,701 times
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Originally Posted by Jays1983 View Post
So everyone else is supposed to air their dirty laundy and you won't!?
I have no problem with it. I'm 26 and my husband is 27. We've been together almost 7 years. My husband has:
a kidney transplant and immunosuppresent drugs
impotency& no sex drive-related to the drugs he has to take
depression-he is on medication but his illnesses get him down
fibromyalgia
chronic fatigue syndrome
sleep apnea
chronic pain
he had a minor stroke at 24

this among other more minor issues. He is on a lot of steriods and takes 24 pills a day. I adore my husband, but was just looking for some support from some people who are going through something similar. It's hard because when he isn't at work he is is esting due to his severe pain and fatigue. Sometimes he is in too much pain and so tired it's hard for him to lift his arms or go check the mail. Fortunately, he is able to muster his will to work as a nurse and will soon start school to become a nurse anethesist. He is very excited about this. Meanwhile I am healthy 26 year old. I am a hiker, marathon runner, etc. It's hard sometimes. I spent my early twenties cleaning his bed pans and caring for him when he was really sick. I've never had sex (ok once) without viagra/cialis and it only "works" about 1/4 of the time due to his diminished sex drive. My husband doesnt even look like the same person when I met him and people from high school don't recognize him. He has had a rough road and his health just isn't going to get better. I just wondered how other people cope with chronic illness. We both get counseling which is great, just wondered if other people had some tips and experiences. Sometimes it just helps to know there are others out there.
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Old 12-21-2009, 10:31 PM
 
Location: Denver Metro
1,549 posts, read 2,578,701 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WyoNewk View Post
You mean, like, besides aging?
Yes
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Old 12-21-2009, 10:47 PM
 
3,284 posts, read 3,517,308 times
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I'm sorry to hear that. So there isn't really much hope of him ever getting better is what you're saying?
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Old 12-21-2009, 10:48 PM
 
Location: Denver Metro
1,549 posts, read 2,578,701 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jays1983 View Post
I'm sorry to hear that. So there isn't really much hope of him ever getting better is what you're saying?
Probably not. I'm trying to work on acceptance.
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Old 12-21-2009, 10:53 PM
 
5,879 posts, read 9,236,386 times
Reputation: 2753
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsRiss7383 View Post
I have no problem with it. I'm 26 and my husband is 27. We've been together almost 7 years. My husband has:
a kidney transplant and immunosuppresent drugs
impotency& no sex drive-related to the drugs he has to take
depression-he is on medication but his illnesses get him down
fibromyalgia
chronic fatigue syndrome
sleep apnea
chronic pain
he had a minor stroke at 24

this among other more minor issues. He is on a lot of steriods and takes 24 pills a day. I adore my husband, but was just looking for some support from some people who are going through something similar. It's hard because when he isn't at work he is is esting due to his severe pain and fatigue. Sometimes he is in too much pain and so tired it's hard for him to lift his arms or go check the mail. Fortunately, he is able to muster his will to work as a nurse and will soon start school to become a nurse anethesist. He is very excited about this. Meanwhile I am healthy 26 year old. I am a hiker, marathon runner, etc. It's hard sometimes. I spent my early twenties cleaning his bed pans and caring for him when he was really sick. I've never had sex (ok once) without viagra/cialis and it only "works" about 1/4 of the time due to his diminished sex drive. My husband doesnt even look like the same person when I met him and people from high school don't recognize him. He has had a rough road and his health just isn't going to get better. I just wondered how other people cope with chronic illness. We both get counseling which is great, just wondered if other people had some tips and experiences. Sometimes it just helps to know there are others out there.
Sorry to hear that. I hope everything turns out ok? I see all kinds of stuff at work everyday like that and it makes you think. Widows, widowers and elderly couples who are glad to see me. I think I'm the only one they have ascossiated with in a month or so? If I can put a smile on their face I feel better at the end of the day. Heath problems can really get you down and those people with them need support to either get over it or comfort them. Again, I hope everything turn out alright for the two of you. Rugged
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Old 12-21-2009, 10:54 PM
 
3,284 posts, read 3,517,308 times
Reputation: 1832
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsRiss7383 View Post
Probably not. I'm trying to work on acceptance.
Well I will say it's a pretty rare and good thing you are doing by sticking it out. Many women would have been long gone.

Hopefully things get better at some point. I would certainly concentrate on working on the depression. That alone can cause sleep apnea, impotence, amound many other things.
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Old 12-21-2009, 10:55 PM
 
Location: Denver Metro
1,549 posts, read 2,578,701 times
Reputation: 1131
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2RUGGED4YOU View Post
Sorry to hear that. I hope everything turns out ok? I see all kinds of stuff at work everyday like that and it makes you think. Widows, widowers and elderly couples who are glad to see me. I think I'm the only one they have ascossiated with in a month or so? If I can put a smile on their face I feel better at the end of the day. Heath problems can really get you down and those people with them need support to either get over it or comfort them. Again, I hope everything turn out alright for the two of you. Rugged
Thanks! I would expect this more when I'm old; it's especially hard being young. Thanks again.
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