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As I stated before, it's fine for his wife to help her friend, BUT just be careful in doing it no matter if it's the Holidays or not! Just can never tell what can happen in the future after helping someone. The "helper" could actually be asked to appear in Court to testify in the girlfriends behalf. The girlfriend could want more help after Christmas is over. It's great to be charitable to a friend-in-need who has kids, but just be careful in doing it. By the way, where is her family during this situation?
Yes heaven forbid they might want to eat again after Christmas or that someone support a friend in court proceedings.
Maybe the OP and the other 14 husbands should just go beat the crap out of this womans husband and make him help support his family like they use to in the old days.
All your wife wanted to do was provide groceries for a proper Christmas dinner, and you have a problem with that? Oh brother, aren't you a cup of Christmas cheer? She didn't say she wanted to provide for them all the time, just for a Christmas meal. While she didn't exactly ream you (though she should have for that), she was right in expressing her disappointment.
Dang, it was ONE meal. What's your problem?
I agree with this...
However, I don't feel as upset about it.
I would never have voiced my approval of the other husbands.
I would have supported my wife in the meal thing.
If she would have said they are moving in with us....?
Maybe the OP and the other 14 husbands should just go beat the crap out of this womans husband and make him help support his family like they use to in the old days.
I agree that you sometimes have to be careful about people taking for granted those who help them....but unless I missed something, this woman didn't ASK for help. If she had then yes, I would understand the hesitation.
Quite frankly, some of the posts in this thread are disappointing and I hope that those saying they'd refuse to help never have to go through a hardship themselves.
Hmmm, I don't get it. The guy's a deadbeat. The family is struggling so friends are helping with a Christmas meal. People have a problem with this? BONK!
Last night my wife returned home from having dinner with two of her girlfriends. She told me that another one of her friends is going through a difficult time. This friend is getting a divorce, but her husband has moved out of their house, quit his job to avoid paying child support (they have 3 children), and is making money off the books to support himself. In the meantime my wife's friend is on the verge of losing the house, doesn't have enough money to adequately heat the house, and put food on the table. My wife wanted to go to the store and buy the groceries to provide them with a proper Christmas meal. I was curious, so I asked what the other women (15 total) in her circle of friends doing to help out since they all know her situation. She said only one (1) other friend is helping out by getting the kids some clothes. I asked why the "warm" response and she said it was because the other husbands told their wives to basically steer clear and let him take care of his own family like he is supposed to. I told my wife that while I did agree with the other husbands I would support her with her decision to help her friend out. My wife said that while she was glad at the support she was disappointed at me for agreeing with the other husbands. I told her she can't win them all. WTF? I supported her and was bing perfectly honest in the way I felt, and I get half a thanks? What's the point in a married couple sharing their opinions even if one is not the PC one? I agreed to do what she was suggesting, yet because I happen to have a different take (and spoke my mind instead of ether "acting out" or complaining about it later she is disappointed? I then told her the days of the yes man are gone. If we have a discussion we have to be able to voice our opinions WITHOUT penalty or judgment. Most times a compromise is possible, but if I feel I'm being penalized I will tell you what you want to hear and then do what I want to. She then gave me the "You just don't get it" line and walked out the room. What is it that I don't get??
You will get all the advice you need from the others but let me inform you of this,it's what I do. Do not let the house get below 40 degrees. You will have pipes that can freeze and if they freeze they usually split and can get quite costly to repair. If it is a 90% or higher efficiency furnace don't let it get below 50 degrees. A 90% or better has a recoup cell and has parts made of plastic that can crack and leak corrosive liquids. This will intern ruin the furnace as well as condensation that can appear on the inside walls of the heat exchanger. You don't want the heat exchanger to rust or crack because you can have carbon monoxide(poisonous gases) being exspelled into your home. As for gas meter, most companies give a small grace period before they pin the meter 1-2 months. If the bill remains unpaid for 6-12 the meter will be removed. Big problems because in order to get a new one the gas lines must be pressurized for at least 24 hours at a set PSI usually between 10-15 PSI and hold. If it is a older home you are bound to have some leaks adding to the expenses to get the gas turned back on. I hope some of this info was useful? Rugged
Obviously the welfare of children and the Christmas spirit is not alive in your heart. This post disgusts me.
What disgusts me is the idea that personal responsibility holds little weight here. I thought by supporting my wife I was doing the right thing both as a husband and a human being, but I seem to be offending some of you here merely because I let my feelings be known on the subject. What some of you are also forgetting is that in spite of my feelings I stood by my wife and supported her decision to help her friend out. I wonder what some of you would say if I was against her idea and refused to support her. IMO it appears that for doing the right thing some of you think I should still be visited by the three ghosts on Christmas Eve.
But he didn't. He didn't hesitate and he's getting bashed for his opinion. I'm sure OP is not Bill Gates, and it's not his responsibility to "not let them go without" even if he has a tree growing $20s in his backyard. I'm all for definitely helping out, but to deny that the scum-bucket should be gone after full-force, no holds-barred be Priority-One (the husbands' main issue) is unreasonable, IMO. I wish this was in Florida, because they have NO mercy towards the deadbeats down there. They'd take the shirt off his back (rightfully so.)
When you post your opinion on a public message board, you risk getting bashed.
I have seen no one deny that the bastard should be held accountable. The fact that he should be held accountable does not erase the reality that those people need help. Supporting his wife's decision while agreeing with a bunch of men who would sooner let them go hungry, even on Christmas, doesn't make her feel warm and fuzzy, apparently.
I gave him credit for supporting her, not that he needs me to, but I don't support his line of thinking at all. Should I start a thread complaining about how that isn't enough for him? I gave him credit. I'm not a "yes man". Some of us simply don't approve.
I can assure you I wouldn't have even asked for my guy's input if I knew he felt this way beforehand.
I can understand why your wife is a bit miffed. My husband is a really caring person and I've always loved that about him. He stopped to assist a motorist in a serious accident once, he loaned a friend money to graduate from college, he bought a family in a program he used to work for kids all of their Christmas presents one year, and so much other stuff. Maybe your wife is just turned off by your train of thought on this.
What disgusts me is the idea that personal responsibility holds little weight here. I thought by supporting my wife I was doing the right thing both as a husband and a human being, but I seem to be offending some of you here merely because I let my feelings be known on the subject. What some of you are also forgetting is that in spite of my feelings I stood by my wife and supported her decision to help her friend out. I wonder what some of you would say if I was against her idea and refused to support her. IMO it appears that for doing the right thing some of you think I should still be visited by the three ghosts on Christmas Eve.
You did ask "What is it I dont get" that is what ppl are commenting on. It is good that you support your wife and you voiced your opinion, fine, but what gets me is:
Quote:
I told her she can't win them all. WTF? I supported her and was being perfectly honest in the way I felt, and I get half a thanks?
Sounds like your pissed because she didnt make a display thanking you for supporting her in wanting to help her friend. Why should she have to thank you? Because you let her help even though you didnt agree?
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