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Old 12-28-2009, 01:49 PM
 
2,118 posts, read 4,158,318 times
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As an RN I worked with another RN who loved complimenting patients. She was super sweet but also clueless. We worked together once on an oncology floor where she was pulled to because we were short an RN and she would go to the patient's rooms and ask them if they needed anything and proceed to tell them they looked great and would be alllllllll better soon. I had to finally tell her to seriously S-T-O-P telling the terminally ill patients they would be allllllllll better soon when in fact they knew differently. Not that it was a back handed compliment but some people meaning well don't realize how clueless they are.
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Old 12-28-2009, 01:50 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,599,983 times
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One of my dance teachers was the queen of backhanded compliments. She'd say stuff like, "Jessica did so well tonight on stage! I hardly recognized her."
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Old 12-28-2009, 01:51 PM
 
Location: So Cal
51,964 posts, read 52,401,739 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by natalayjones View Post
I've had a couple of people tell me I'm pretty...for a big girl. Never really knew how to take that. I guess if you compare me to a bunch of fat chicks I'm pretty but compared to skinny girls I'm a beast
Yeah people do that one all of the time, She's got such a pretty face......



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Old 12-28-2009, 05:25 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,856,366 times
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Ugh. I think the lady was just trying to cheer people up. Oh well. Hopefully she wasn't reprimanded or fired for trying to be kind and caring.

Quote:
Originally Posted by goodgal View Post
As an RN I worked with another RN who loved complimenting patients. She was super sweet but also clueless. We worked together once on an oncology floor where she was pulled to because we were short an RN and she would go to the patient's rooms and ask them if they needed anything and proceed to tell them they looked great and would be alllllllll better soon. I had to finally tell her to seriously S-T-O-P telling the terminally ill patients they would be allllllllll better soon when in fact they knew differently. Not that it was a back handed compliment but some people meaning well don't realize how clueless they are.
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Old 12-28-2009, 05:28 PM
 
2,118 posts, read 4,158,318 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Ugh. I think the lady was just trying to cheer people up. Oh well. Hopefully she wasn't reprimanded or fired for trying to be kind and caring.
Of course not.
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Old 12-28-2009, 05:36 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
16,077 posts, read 28,482,317 times
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Asking someone how you look is a loaded question. It may not have been meant to be backhanded, but she could have said something like " I like it much better this way ", gosh tho, some just don't know how to give a compliment and leave it at that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaOfGrass View Post
Last night we ran into one of our friends. She would do anything for you, but she's not the most diplomatic person in the world. She was talking to an older woman, someone she's known for years, and the woman was talking about how she had just tried a new hairstyle and wasn't sure if it looked good on her or not.

Our friend told her it did. It kind of went back and forth like that for a minute. Then our friend says, "Honestly, it looks better than it has in years."

I was cringing inside. And the woman kind of paused and looked at our friend. It was almost comical. I felt bad for the woman, but she handled it very graciously and glossed over it.

LOL, do you know someone like this? Not someone who intentionally insults someone, but they just tend to blurt things out or are brutally honest? Have they dished out a particularly stinging backhanded compliment to you?
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Old 12-28-2009, 08:06 PM
 
5,879 posts, read 9,231,925 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaOfGrass View Post
Last night we ran into one of our friends. She would do anything for you, but she's not the most diplomatic person in the world. She was talking to an older woman, someone she's known for years, and the woman was talking about how she had just tried a new hairstyle and wasn't sure if it looked good on her or not.

Our friend told her it did. It kind of went back and forth like that for a minute. Then our friend says, "Honestly, it looks better than it has in years."

I was cringing inside. And the woman kind of paused and looked at our friend. It was almost comical. I felt bad for the woman, but she handled it very graciously and glossed over it.

LOL, do you know someone like this? Not someone who intentionally insults someone, but they just tend to blurt things out or are brutally honest? Have they dished out a particularly stinging backhanded compliment to you?
One time my buddy and I were ice fishing and the ice looked a little thin. I told him to go first because if it will hold you, it sure should be able to hold me? My buddy is over 300 pounds. He gestured with "The Bird"!LOL.......
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Old 12-28-2009, 08:18 PM
 
Location: Michigan--good on the rocks
2,544 posts, read 4,270,178 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
Is it more important to be tactful, or truthful?
You can be both. They are not mutually exclusive qualities.

If someone tells me they are "brutally honest," I take that to mean "I enjoy being an azzhole."
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Old 12-28-2009, 08:38 PM
 
18,270 posts, read 14,387,132 times
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SoG, I can see how your friend meant to say one thing, and came up with another. For example, I think she might have tried to convince her friend that her hairstyle was bi*ching, but wasn't sure how to express it properly, so she went too far and said she hadn't looked that great in ages. I often make such mistakes myself. I don't really know why though. I guess I sometimes talk before I think, myself. But no harm is meant. On the other hand, if the woman in question is always saying stuff like that, then she is doing it on purpose. And it could be due to envy. One must decipher which one she is.
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Old 12-28-2009, 09:00 PM
 
Location: Mountains of Oregon
17,613 posts, read 22,559,114 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
Yeah people do that one all of the time, She's got such a pretty face......





but ...the butt blocks out the SUN.






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