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You owe him big time financially (I'm sure he supported you all the way). Are you going to pay him alimony?
What does he enjoy? Do you even know? How do you support him and join him in those activities? Have you all tried doing something new together? Gone on a nice vacation since you make all those bucks now?
You only think you've passed him by. Go back and see where you got off track.
You are a snob. If you think someone better is around for the taking, think again. They aren't going to want you, because they know you have the same background and roots as your husband and they are just as shallow (if not more so) than you are!
I can see their future post, "she's an attorney in a small town, does nothing exciting--just wills and divorces, we have nothing in common..."
True -- it was likely with his support, he taking care of the four children besides working full time to provide the financial support so she could find time to study and attend classes and get started in her career.
Well - I just hope for the sake of him that he's finding her less desireable now too, maybe she doesn't have the same exact figure she once had so he's growing bored with her too.
In a case like this, I think the custody of the children should go to the one who didn't want to destroy the marriage if that spouse wants the children.
Either way, then she can be free to look for men who match her in education and in a few years she'll come back asking why educated men marry younger trophy wives, why educated superior divorced women with 4 children in their mid 40s have difficulty in finding ideal mates, why no intelligent high earning male lawyers aren't trying to find women like herself or why they can't manage to help her change a flat tire.
Actually during our marriage I have made about 75% of our combined income and I do not owe him anything financially. We we divorced it would hurt me financially much more than him.
He has made no effort to become more intellectual in his interests but I have agreed to attend events that match his interests like bowling and NASCAR.
Then divorce him already. No different than if he divorced you for losing the figure you once had, and you can start looking for the perfect mate. Good luck on that. Maybe try match dot com or harmony or something like that. I hope your kids like their new dad.
"Good try"??
Is this some sort of contest with criteria I am not aware of to see who is most "superior" in responses?
I'm guessing you're responding to me and there is no contest whatsoever and no game where any "superior response" is concerned. I'm sorry you perceive my responses to this thread as such and have arbitrarily taken my comment with umbrage! If you had read the whole thread you might better understand.
I don't respond to posts willy-nilly. I've been a posting contributor to CD on several of its forums for some time now and when anything seems a little bit suspect where any post is concerned then I research the poster's previous posts. It's all out there and easily accessible even when posters change their monikers.
So again and in response to your question, the answer is no. I'm an open book with absolutely nothing to hide and no hidden agenda on either CD or a couple of other unrelated sites.
You can click onto my name on CD, get to my profile, my posts, my business website and see all. Nothing hidden at all. No games, nothing!
I responded as I did to your contributory post because it really wasn't relevant to the essence of the thread. Sorry if that bothered you. Cheers!
I am sorry but an intellectual connection is VERY important, that is why, I could never date a woman who does not have at least, a college education. It is not about being a snob, but it is very frustrating when you are with someone who is not educated.
You really think a college degree equals educated? Are you serious? Some of the most "uneducated" people I know have degrees. Im not knocking college. If you can go do go. But I know people with maters degrees who cant tell you what decade World War II took place in. The modern education system is a joke and a business. I learned nothing in college. I learned more reading on the internet. I support people going for enhanced career possibilities. But if you think you will come out of college "educated" you will be sadly disappointed.
When I met my husband twenty four years ago, we were both teenagers living in a small town in PA. It was the basic small factory town common in PA where almost every man went to work out of High School and lived the factory life. My husband is blue collar working class, true and blue. If you were casting for a movie and wanted someone who looked like a blue collar factory worker- he would be the right choice.
But now we are in our forties and he is still in the factory but in a larger town and I work as an Attorney. My intellectual skills, education and income has gone way up from the day we got married. He is still the same person. He does not read, follow the news, talk about interesting things, or do anything to expand his mind or career.
We do not fight, just exist in the same house. We have four kids which makes a divorce difficult. He knows I am frustrated with him but can not change. Sometimes I think he does not have the intellectual skills to move out of his factory working class existence.
What should I do? I have passed my husband by mentally, emotionally, financially, occupationally, and intellectually. (Yes, I know I sound like a snob, but we are opposites)
YES!!!! You do sound like a snob and now do not like him anymore because you think you are smarter then him.
Yours is not such an uncommon problem, but a very painful one. I am sure you still love each other, but you are living together as room mates and have nothing left in common except for your children. You have simply outgrown each other - it happens all too often.
You do not sound like a snob and anyone who would think so is out of touch.
You both have to determine what is the best course of action. Many people in similar situations wait until the children are in high school. You have much to consider but to continue a life that you are now in is no life.
I'm not sure if the OP said already how old her kids are? If they are older, than I would say you and your husband both deserve the chance to find someone that is a better match. If the kids are small and you could be happy for now to live the way things are, that is what's best for the kids IMO. You've already done it for 24 years, what's 5 more going to hurt.
When I met my husband twenty four years ago, we were both teenagers living in a small town in PA. It was the basic small factory town common in PA where almost every man went to work out of High School and lived the factory life. My husband is blue collar working class, true and blue. If you were casting for a movie and wanted someone who looked like a blue collar factory worker- he would be the right choice.
But now we are in our forties and he is still in the factory but in a larger town and I work as an Attorney. My intellectual skills, education and income has gone way up from the day we got married. He is still the same person. He does not read, follow the news, talk about interesting things, or do anything to expand his mind or career.
We do not fight, just exist in the same house. We have four kids which makes a divorce difficult. He knows I am frustrated with him but can not change. Sometimes I think he does not have the intellectual skills to move out of his factory working class existence.
What should I do? I have passed my husband by mentally, emotionally, financially, occupationally, and intellectually. (Yes, I know I sound like a snob, but we are opposites)
You are in your 40s married 24 years and you sometimes think he can't change?
I would say you may not have surpassed him in intelligence if you can't figure this one out. And guess what, education does not ensure intellect. Sometimes people just like to play the part. If you were so smart you would have figured out long ago that you were not on the same page.
None of the things you listed is as important as the question you need to be asking yourself, are you still happy in the marriage? Can you manage to live civilly in the same house without making each other miserable and effect your own children's happiness until they're older?
If you answer no to both then you pretty much have your answer.
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Three word names...
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