Will I ever trust again? (dating, boyfriend, women, love)
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What should be done with someone that used you for a bet and now only wants friend with benefits? The worst to this is two of my friends were involved too.
I am in this position right now and can't think of any other word to express to this woman I now HATE. The only reason I accepted being friends with benefit and seem to be forgiving is so I can find ways to exploit her.
Background: I'm a 21 year-old male and have been dating her for 5 months until she broke up with me 2 days after going to a hotel. She said if we can only be friends with benefits and did not see me as a boyfriend anymore.
I accepted it but wasn't the least bit happy. She doesn't know that I found out about her bet. A friend told me everything about it and how she had it all planned from 2 months ago.
So how do I overcome this? Is it normal for me to cry (in silent during the break up and after I heard about the bet)? I have always been strong but this created an impact that I'm not sure I'll ever trust someone again, much less a woman.
What do I tell my family when they ask what happened?
What should be done with someone that used you for a bet and now only wants friend with benefits? The worst to this is two of my friends were involved too.
I am in this position right now and can't think of any other word to express to this woman I now HATE. The only reason I accepted being friends with benefit and seem to be forgiving is so I can find ways to exploit her.
Why even bother with someone you have no respect for? The only reason you "hate" her is because you still care and you are hurt. Give it some time, it will pass.
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Background: I'm a 21 year-old male and have been dating her for 5 months until she broke up with me 2 days after going to a hotel. She said if we can only be friends with benefits and did not see me as a boyfriend anymore.
I accepted it but wasn't the least bit happy. She doesn't know that I found out about her bet. A friend told me everything about it and how she had it all planned from 2 months ago.
So how do I overcome this? Is it normal for me to cry (in silent during the break up and after I heard about the bet)? I have always been strong but this created an impact that I'm not sure I'll ever trust someone again. What do I tell my family when they asked what happened?
It is normal to cry, yes. Allow yourself to do so. It doesn't make you weak, it makes you human. If you allow this person to ruin your future with other people, you'd deserve every but of loneliness you're asking for.
Tell your family the truth, or tell them it just didn't work out. You don't owe them an explanation.
Good luck.
Last edited by PassTheChocolate; 12-29-2009 at 02:03 PM..
Break up with her. Deal with your friends accordingly.
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Is it normal for me to cry (in silent during the break up and after I heard about the bet)?
Normal? No. But it happens, and that doesn't make it wrong.
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I have always been strong but this created an impact that I'm not sure I'll ever trust someone again, much less a woman.
Find someone else, and it will become evident that every person is different.
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What do I tell my family when they ask what happened?
Although it may do you good, you don't owe anyone an explanation. If you don't want to explain yourself, then be vague. "Well, mom, it just didn't work out with her."
Why even bother with someone you have no respect for? The only reason you "hate" her is because you still care and you are hurt. Give it some time, it will pass.
I did cared for her until finding out what she did. Sadly this has been a sick bet all along. This had to happen just when my communication skills with women started improving and no longer was I shy. It took me several years to overcome it and never having my high school prom.
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Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
It is normal to cry, yes. Allow yourself to do so. It doesn't make you weak, it makes you human. If you allow this person to ruin your future with other people, you'd deserve every but of lonliness you're asking for.
Tell your family the truth, or tell them it just didn't work out. You don't owe them an explanation.
So should I now changed my cell phone number and erase her from my facebook? I hate her, I really do.
What about those two friends who were part of the bet? They knew how serious I was in not being played with nor having their mentality of sleeping around. I'm not them.
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Originally Posted by rubber_factory
Although it may do you good, you don't owe anyone an explanation. If you don't want to explain yourself, then be vague. "Well, mom, it just didn't work out with her."
I'm really not good in lying and feel that my mother does deserve to know.
This was one of the plot I was thinking doing against her: ruining her reputation on facebook by posting nude pictures of her while being friends with benefits. It's like I want to ruin her.
I did cared for her until finding out what she did. Sadly this has been a sick bet all along. This had to happen just when my communication skills with women started improving and no longer was I shy. It took me several years to overcome it and never having my high school prom.
I understand that, but love and hate are two sides of the same coin. You wouldn't feel so passionately about her (hating her) if you did not care. There is nothing wrong with that. You can't just shut your feelings off. But you wouldn't be bothered thinking about getting back at her if you didn't care about her.
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So should I now changed my cell phone number and erase her from my facebook? I hate her, I really do.
Erase her from your FB page, sure. But change your number? Why? Is she harassing you?
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What about those two friends who were part of the bet? They knew how serious I was in not being played with nor having their mentality of sleeping around.
Give them the pink slip. They are not your friends.
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I'm really not good in lying and feel that my mother does deserve to know.
To say it didn't work out is not a lie. If you want to tell her all about it, tell her.
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This was one of the plot I was thinking doing against her: ruining her reputation on facebook by posting nude pictures of her while being friends with benefits. It's like I want to ruin her.
That would be a stupid move. It could get you in a bunch of trouble and it is extremely childish. You'd be no better than her if you did that. She will get her just desserts, they always do.
PassTheChocolate has given you excellent advice on every point. Please heed it, especially with regard to the nude photos, etc. Don't act like a child. You're an adult now, even though your friends don't act that way.
The advice these people have given you is great...pay attention! Good luck! Don't let one person of the feminine persuasion determine your opinion of all of us.....forget those people make yourself happy and the rest will fall into place!
Yes. Just keep doing it until it works. It might happen.
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