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Old 12-30-2009, 12:26 PM
 
Location: Center of the universe
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I would just like to have some understanding or illumination on this subject. What is the difference between long-term separation and divorce? I worked with a woman who said she was married, but separated. I figured she had been separated for a year or less, and she said it had been 10 years.

Why would anyone do this?

What are the advantages, if any, to separation?
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Old 12-30-2009, 12:30 PM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
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I personally and honestly have never understood "separation". I mean, you are either together or not. I truly feel a lot of people do this to ease their conscience if they want to sleep with someone else, they can always say, "well, we were separated so that didn't count" and quite frankly, I find it completely pointless.
If you can't hack being married, just get divorced.
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Old 12-30-2009, 12:32 PM
 
Location: Eternal State of Confusion
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Insurance aspect? Taxes?
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Old 12-30-2009, 12:33 PM
 
Location: In my skin
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I believe a legal separation is designed to protect your interests while waiting for the divorce to be final. When you both decide the marriage is over, it isn't likely you'll want to live in the same home. It also gives you time to decide if divorce is what you really want.
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Old 12-30-2009, 12:35 PM
 
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Nobody could ever accuse Hugh Hefner of rushing into things.

After an 11-year separation, the Playboy founder, 83, has filed for divorce from his second wife, former Playmate Kimberly Conrad, citing irreconcilable differences, Los Angeles court records show.

The pair were married in July 1989 and separated nine years later, but remained legally wed and lives in the home next door.

He adds: "I would've been happy to divorce her when we separated, but she wanted to remain married for our boys."

Hugh Hefner Finally Files for Divorce - Hugh Hefner : People.com

Last edited by Thursday007; 12-30-2009 at 12:44 PM..
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Old 12-30-2009, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Victoria TX
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If the woman remained legally married to her husband for ten years or more, she will be able, after he dies, to convert her own social security to the full amount of his.

The down side is if either of them encounters a catastrophic illness or other liability, with large debts to be paid, the fact that they're still married could lay that responsibility on the other spouse.

Depending on their ages, they might have simply decided that a divorce is not worth the bother if neither of them expects to remarry. In some states, divorce is crushingly expensive.
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Old 12-30-2009, 12:43 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
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Well, first of all, you usually have to be separated (as in not residing together in the same household) before you can be divorced, although the laws do vary by state. The only reasons I can see for not moving forward with the divorce after the appropriate amount of time has elapsed is, first, that there is a need to retain the assets, or something like health insurance benefits jointly, or second that a judge ruled against granting a divorce (it happens), or third that maybe one of the parties won't agree to the divorce.
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Old 12-30-2009, 12:47 PM
 
Location: Transition Island
946 posts, read 1,398,773 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucario View Post
I would just like to have some understanding or illumination on this subject. What is the difference between long-term separation and divorce? I worked with a woman who said she was married, but separated. I figured she had been separated for a year or less, and she said it had been 10 years.

Why would anyone do this?

What are the advantages, if any, to separation?
There are no advantages-at least none that I know of-but one could remain separated with the possibility of remarrying their spouse. I could have gotten the divorce back in 2005, but he had some whacked out papers he personally delivered to me at my place of employment that appeared as though I would have to possibly pay him something in the near future, which was totally out of the question. Funny he tried to get me to sign them on my last day of work before I started to go to school full-time for my Graduate degree, but he has been given other opportunities to do it again and this time in our state and county, which was not done the first time he followed through on getting it complete. We have agreed to do it ourselves, but for me there is no urgency because I would not consider marriage nor entertain an intimate relationship again until my son is 18. I have completed the paperwork twice, but to no avail does he do his part to deliver on it. He has been anxious a couple of times due to possibly wanting to marry someone else, but he fails to deliver the finished product. It will only cost us $300.00, but until he is ready to do it I really do not concern myself with it. We have been permanently separated for five years, with many times on and off starting in 1995 after 12 years of being married. I have no problems giving him my portion to pay for it either. To be quite honest I should pay for it due to it being my decision to end the marriage. Just keeping it real!!
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Old 12-30-2009, 03:09 PM
 
Location: Center of the universe
23,932 posts, read 20,205,253 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
Nobody could ever accuse Hugh Hefner of rushing into things.

After an 11-year separation, the Playboy founder, 83, has filed for divorce from his second wife, former Playmate Kimberly Conrad, citing irreconcilable differences, Los Angeles court records show.

The pair were married in July 1989 and separated nine years later, but remained legally wed and lives in the home next door.

He adds: "I would've been happy to divorce her when we separated, but she wanted to remain married for our boys."

Hugh Hefner Finally Files for Divorce - Hugh Hefner : People.com

Yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about. An 11-year separation?
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Old 12-30-2009, 03:33 PM
 
10,464 posts, read 7,353,209 times
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It's kind of like getting in the pool at the shallow end instead of jumping off the diving board into the deep, I think.
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