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So you have one friend who had a cheating wife who ruined his life and you have to come up with a devious plan to ship your not yet conceived kids with your possible future wife, off to another country to avoid child support...
Well I have witnessed tons of cheating but I would say his situation is by far the worst. I feel bad for the guy he had a very bright future and is an all around great guy.
Didn't I mention I have a lot of time on my hands at work.
I just have one friend whose whole life has been ruined by this and it makes me think sometimes. Although, I could have told him his wife was trouble!
So, he asked for it. Sounds like he ignored red flags. That's his problem. People make mistakes. That's no reason for you to obsess over a completely hypothetical issue to this extent.
All people age and that includes men (studs too). As one ages, one looks for stability, more companionship, more togetherness. It is hard to find that in fast women when you are slowing down. That is why some go for "ownership" of the cow.
So, he asked for it. Sounds like he ignored red flags. That's his problem. People make mistakes. That's no reason for you to obsess over a completely hypothetical issue to this extent.
Finding someone loyal is hard these days and I know it sounds retarded of me to say that since I haven't been cheated on but I have a lot of friends that get cheated on and that cheat. I guess I internalize that somewhat but I understand this is the nature of people though.
Finding someone loyal is hard these days and I know it sounds retarded of me to say that since I haven't been cheated on but I have a lot of friends that get cheated on and that cheat. I guess I internalize that somewhat but I understand this is the nature of people though.
These days? Have you lived "other days" to know how hard finding these magical "loyals" are?
As someone who has lived both then and now I can assure you finding loyal people isn't any more difficult then it has been.
People have not changed.
As much as this might come off as cheese to you. Your life, and what you get from life is directly influenced by what you ALLOW in to it. You're the only person in control of where you take yourself and who surrounds you, It's a symbiotic relationship. You want to live life by the rule EVERYONE will cheat on me becuase EVERYONE does? That's exsactly what you will find projecting that kind of self defeating insecurity towards everyone.
Finding someone loyal is hard these days and I know it sounds retarded of me to say that since I haven't been cheated on but I have a lot of friends that get cheated on and that cheat. I guess I internalize that somewhat but I understand this is the nature of people though.
Get new friends. The crowd you hang out with is poisoning your outlook on life. Why would anyone hang out with people whose values are opposite to one's own? I don't get that. Can you see how their company is negatively affecting you?
Honestly, at least in my head the measure is only if my wife cheats on me. For someone that hasn't been cheated on yet it might sound odd that I have thought about it. I just have one friend whose whole life has been ruined by this and it makes me think sometimes. Although, I could have told him his wife was trouble!
I still don't get the connection. If you knew the mother of your child was a drug addict, alcoholic, murderer, abused them or some other behavior detrimental to the well being of your children I might could sympathize. But because she cheated? Still thinking about yourself instead of your hypothetical children.
I was cheat on. A blow yeah, but not something that ruins your life and not something that should affect the kids.
These days? Have you lived "other days" to know how hard finding these magical "loyals" are?
As someone who has lived both then and now I can assure you finding loyal people isn't any more difficult then it has been.
People have not changed.
As much as this might come off as cheese to you. Your life, and what you get from life is directly influenced by what you ALLOW in to it. You're the only person in control of where you take yourself and who surrounds you, It's a symbiotic relationship. You want to live life by the rule EVERYONE will cheat on me becuase EVERYONE does? That's exsactly what you will find projecting that kind of self defeating insecurity towards everyone.
**** will always attract flys.
And are you dating people in my age group to know what is happening these days? I am a pragmatist sorry to say and by the way I don't know if it occurred to you but I have friends that range in all different age groups. Not to mention the fact that I have tons of family members and their friends to go by as well to get a wide range of views. I am sure we can go to statistics too about the growing numbers of marriages falling apart.
It's not an insecurity when I am just accepting that this is the nature of the game these days. Not to mention the fact I have said it 432432423 times in this section that I am not worried I will find someone compatible with me. Hell I pretty much just said that a few posts up.
I have never been cheated on so it looks like I haven't attracted this negativity to my own life and my relationships.
Last edited by hooplaman; 03-04-2014 at 01:21 PM..
Well some guys do not have the looks or money or a great career to be playing woman like Tiger Woods plays golf in his prime.
Do you know how hard it is to drag your self out of bed to work a dead end job day after day just getting by . One can not be to picky about woman you have to take what you can get.
I still don't get the connection. If you knew the mother of your child was a drug addict, alcoholic, murderer, abused them or some other behavior detrimental to the well being of your children I might could sympathize. But because she cheated? Still thinking about yourself instead of your hypothetical children.
I was cheat on. A blow yeah, but not something that ruins your life and not something that should affect the kids.
But it does affect the kids, 2mares. When one parent cheats on another, it can be a world-rocker for them. A lot of it depends on the kid's age, stage, and perceptiveness, and when they become adults and have relationships of their own, they usually reflect on it and come to terms with it one way or another.
But when you're talking about children, it really can knock them for a loop. It can trigger huge abandonment issues in small kids if there is a divorce and the cheater goes to live with someone else. It is not unheard of for younger children to say, "So are you going to go be someone else's Daddy/Mommy now, too?"
Slightly older kids find out their parents aren't the perfect creatures they thought, but they find out prematurely.
Adolescents may feel like their own parent is a stranger, and lose all trust and respect for that parent. It may also come at a time when the kid is learning how to form his or her own relationships, and it can and will go through the kid's head that if this is what happens, if this is what their own father/mother can do, then anyone can do it. If they couldn't tell when their parent was doing it, how will they be able to tell if their own special someone does it? Again, learning realities before their time.
Whether the parents mean for it to happen or not, and no matter how much parents may try to protect kids from it, it starts the kids down this long emotional road where they have to consider things they never wanted to nor ever anticipated having to consider. It's actually pretty traumatic, and I would know, because I've been through it. My father was a fun dad in a lot of ways, and he and I were very close. But he wasn't 100% faithful to my mother. It took me a long, long time to get over that, and to see both of my parents in the context of their marriage and relationship with one another. One of my sisters has never been able to. She's in her early 60s. For her it's very black and white, good and evil, and she has carried anger and hatred in her heart for 35 years now like a cancer.
Last edited by Lilac110; 03-04-2014 at 01:44 PM..
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