 |
|
|
01-03-2010, 05:35 PM
|
|
|
|
Location: Hot Springs, AR
5,613 posts, read 7,679,335 times
Reputation: 3524
|
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol
That is a different case. It's your sister who you're talking about and she'll always be your sister.
My thread was in regards to your spouse, not a family member. In this case, you can still be there friends and you always get in contact with them as well as help them with their medical bills, mobilities (if they have trouble walking), bandages (if they're badly burned) etc.... What I was referring to is that while I might not be their spouse no more, I can be their friend so I wouldn't completely leave them into abandonment.
|
That's not my definition of friendship. Even if the person was simply my spouse I would not leave. There are things in this world more important than sex and money. |
|
01-03-2010, 06:16 PM
|
|
|
|
Location: Raleigh, NC
6,840 posts, read 7,059,363 times
Reputation: 5873
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol
My thread was in regards to your spouse, not a family member. In this case, you can still be there friends and you always get in contact with them as well as help them with their medical bills, mobilities (if they have trouble walking), bandages (if they're badly burned) etc.... What I was referring to is that while I might not be their spouse no more, I can be their friend so I wouldn't completely leave them into abandonment.
|
You don't see that divorcing someone because they were disfigured is a HUGE form of "abandonment"?? Dear god, can people really be this ignorant?  |
|
01-03-2010, 07:14 PM
|
|
|
|
Location: OCEAN BREEZES AND VIEWS SAN CLEMENTE
15,531 posts, read 4,815,427 times
Reputation: 4186
|
|
|
My marriage vows as i recall, did not say, and if you husband gets disfigured, you can leave him, what a shallow horrible thought, then you did not love the person to begin with. Love is staying with someone, in good times and bad, and in sickness and in health. I know he would not leave me if this happned and the same for me, and i bet so many cannot believe this post. You make me think the only thing going on for you would be the physical, although very important to a marriage, it is not the whole marriage.
|
|
01-03-2010, 07:33 PM
|
|
|
|
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
14,974 posts, read 12,883,154 times
Reputation: 14994
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Francois
You don't see that divorcing someone because they were disfigured is a HUGE form of "abandonment"?? Dear god, can people really be this ignorant? |
And, Francois, have you ever been faced with this particular dilemma? I'm using you as just an exemplar of so many who've responded most blithely but who've never been dealt that blow.
A basic disfigurement as in the loss of a body part or major burns are not unusual occurrences.
Those of us who have dealt with brain damaged spouses and gone through so much and at such cost simply have a problem trying to beg the choir. |
|
01-03-2010, 07:34 PM
|
|
|
|
801 posts, read 642,464 times
Reputation: 642
|
|
|
What if it happened to you? Wouldn't you want him to stay with you?
Do unto others....
Of course it's a tough decision. But that is what a commitment is about. I know a woman who stayed with her paraplegic husband after he fell off the roof 5 yrs after their wedding. He gave her the option of leaving and she refused. They're married for 25 years now. She stuck to her vows. I admire her courage and strength.
|
|
01-03-2010, 08:14 PM
|
|
|
|
Location: Morrisville, NC
3,019 posts, read 4,384,122 times
Reputation: 1335
|
|
|
I know of a gentleman locally who's wife is severely disabled due to an aneurysm suffered during childbirth. I know that his ability to care for her, as well as support his family, is clearly dwindling. And recently his teenage son tried to kill himself.
|
|
01-03-2010, 08:16 PM
|
|
|
|
Location: South FL
9,456 posts, read 7,418,227 times
Reputation: 7787
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol
To all of you in a relationship or marriage up to what point would you still stay with them?
How about if something horrible happen to him/her and they got disfigured for life (ex: a car accident getting engulf in flames)?
Don't mean to sound all shallow but doesn't physical attractive to a point matter esp. when intimacy is involved? Besides the actual physical drama, there would be an emotionally and psychological impact as well. It'll never be the same ever again so I think in this case, you should let them go but be a helpful friend.
|
I would stay with my husband THROUGH anything. ANYTHING. Any kind of illness, disfiguration, ANYTHING. I am even willing to forgive most of the things that most of you wouldn't. That's how much I love him. |
|
01-03-2010, 08:37 PM
|
|
|
|
Location: Morrisville, NC
3,019 posts, read 4,384,122 times
Reputation: 1335
|
|
|
Last edited by superk; 01-03-2010 at 08:54 PM..
|
|
01-03-2010, 08:39 PM
|
|
|
|
Location: Up above the world so high!
38,188 posts, read 39,991,570 times
Reputation: 26943
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by superk
I know of a gentleman locally who's wife is severely disabled due to an aneurysm suffered during childbirth. I know that his ability to care for her, as well as support his family, is clearly dwindling. And recently his teenage son tried to kill himself.
|
That's so sad superk! I surely hope he reaches out to agencies that can give him some professional help and respite. |
|
01-03-2010, 08:56 PM
|
|
|
|
1,571 posts, read 1,185,172 times
Reputation: 596
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by aqua0
What if it happened to you? Wouldn't you want him to stay with you?
|
Not really... I imagine hiding from everyone and even consider suicide in that case (esp. if I was horribly burned). Buying a gun would be the easy way out and I would be done with anyone feeling pity for me or the strange stares from people.... |
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $53,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
|
|
|
