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I would stay with my husband THROUGH anything. ANYTHING. Any kind of illness, disfiguration, ANYTHING. I am even willing to forgive most of the things that most of you wouldn't. That's how much I love him.
You now have my attention! Bust sound like you are deeply in love with your husband, good for you.
It isn't called being a martyr....it's called honoring your vows and true love. If you can leave your SO simply because they have become severly handicapped, physically or mentally, or comatose (admittedly this one has lots of shades of gray) you never loved that person in the first place.
And if you can walk away after 30 years that's beyond twisted. And I'm not old enough to be married for 30 years.
Good for you and very well put. And there had been those illnesses in the family, i have seen first hand, what they can do, but my family members stood by, and never left, no matter how hard it was physically on them, they stood by their spouse.
Not really... I imagine hiding from everyone and even consider suicide in that case (esp. if I was horribly burned). Buying a gun would be the easy way out and I would be done with anyone feeling pity for me or the strange stares from people....
That's easy to imagine when you're far away from that kind of decision. The body's will to live is very strong for most people.
I agree with the posters who've said you have some growing up to do. I don't mean to scare you too much, but some big life is coming your way. Some of it will be painful. Some of it will be very ugly. Don't worry too much ... you'll deal with it. We all do.
I worked at a nursing & long term care facility where we had a lot of young people who were seriously injured (head-injuries, paralysis) from accidents or had debilitating illnesses. I witnessed a lot of the wives coming in to care for their husbands, but unfortunately the husbands were never seen.
Based on my previous posts on this thread I would reiterate that you simply cannot know how you might react. Some posters can spout endlessly about the "death until" routine and claim that whatever happens they will stick by their spouse but, unless they have real experience of being there, it's all purely conjecture and supposition.
I'm simply not inclined to tell my painful tale in detail but I have alluded to it in previous posts which are easily accessible.
I've never have a problem where physical impairment is concerned and in the past I've had relationships with men who have lost limbs, two who had one testicle - no problem. Brain damage is a whole different ball game.
Physical disabilities are one thing, mental disabilities are a whole different issue.
Yes, I would stay. I can't imagine up and leaving my spouse at a time when he'd need me most. And if I didn't stay and take care of him, who would? And I wouldn't want him to do that to me. Think of how vulnerable and dependent you'd become. The last thing you need is the love of your life and support system walking out.
Yes I would stay--I would wipe his butt--go through his screaming in pain, feed him whatever it takes--he is my family. Just as I wouldn't abandon a parent, sibling or child I would not abandon my spouse.
To all of you in a relationship or marriage up to what point would you still stay with them?
How about if something horrible happen to him/her and they got disfigured for life (ex: a car accident getting engulf in flames)?
Don't mean to sound all shallow but doesn't physical attractive to a point matter esp. when intimacy is involved? Besides the actual physical drama, there would be an emotionally and psychological impact as well. It'll never be the same ever again so I think in this case, you should let them go but be a helpful friend.
If you love someone unconditionally you love them no matter what goes on in their life. Whether they are disfigured, paralyzed or sick if you really love that person you would not care it would not be a big issue for you and you would love them and care for them the same if not even more then before.
If something terrible happened to my boyfriend I would take care of him and still love him the same. I would feed him, shower him, drive him around, take him to the doctor's and love him the same as before. I will always be there for him even if he didn't want me around because he wanted to let me go and be happy with someone else I would still be there at least as his best friend forever
Commitment is FOR when it's hard. Anybody can stick around when it's easy.
Ask yourself what would happen if something were to happen to you, through no fault of your own, that would result in terrible fallout. Maybe NOT physical disfigurement...maybe psychological trauma. Maybe you are attacked and raped. Maybe you are in a military deployment that sees serious action and you have psychological, but not physical, trauma. Is it understandable that your partner would turn his or her back on you? Terrible things can happen to anybody.
To all of you in a relationship or marriage up to what point would you still stay with them?
How about if something horrible happen to him/her and they got disfigured for life (ex: a car accident getting engulf in flames)?
We went through this, and there was never any question of not staying together. It was rough, but we definitely feel that we emerged with our marriage even stronger. It could also be we were able to work through this because our families from each side came together to provide support for us and each other. Our mothers are now good friends, my in-laws come to all my side's family event, and so on.
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