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Okay, I said I wouldn't share personal stuff, but I do have a situation that I need you *polite* advice to. My friend's new boyfriend seemed like a nice guy. When I first started going out with them to do things, he would tell me that I looked nice or that my hair looked pretty, etc. I would say thank you and change the subject. My friend was around for these compliments and I didn't think anything of it. I just thought he was being nice.
A couple of nights ago, we were out and he was drinking and he said "your legs are so hot" "you have a nice body" and "you have nice t***s" at different times in one night while my friend wasn't around. I didn't know what to do, so I just kind of mumbled
"thanks" and walked off to talk to someone else. I feel bad because I feel like I opened myself up to these comments when he said I looked nice, etc but they seemed like nice, harmless things to say at the time. Anyway, how should I handle this? What should I say to him to let him know that his comments make me uncomfortable and should I tell my friend? Thanks for your advice.
He knows you are married! That was stupid if you ask me? Even Rugged wouldn't intentionally do something like that. I probably wouldn't tell your friend, but I would tell him. Rugged
A couple of nights ago, we were out and he was drinking and he said "your legs are so hot" "you have a nice body" and "you have nice t***s" at different times in one night while my friend wasn't around.
You could've told him to reserve his compliments for his GF. Heck, I don't find the vocabulary of the last one appropriate even for a new GF! I don't like vulgar talk generally, though. Others may feel differently.
Like I said, I was shocked. I've never had anybody say things like that to me, not even my husband. I know I should have handled it differently, but I want to make it right now.
This is a cool HR situation. Label him for sexual harassment and crucify him
Seriously, he may have heard of your "husband" issues and the effect they have been having on you. Do you ever confide in your friend? Maybe she told him.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsRiss7383
Definitely. I just didn't know what to do. I was shocked. I want to do the right thing now though and make it right.
That's good. I'd tell him, Look, I was taken aback by your rude comments and now that I've collected my thoughts, I want to tell you something. You're with my friend and I don't appreciate you treating her like that....
I would certainly tell him off and tell your friend. Who else is he doing this to behind her back? And I wouldn't wait for a second time - a confrontation with both of them at the same time would not be inappropriate. You treasure your friend's relationship with you and he is a cad. He needs to be dressed down in this fashion and your friend needs your support at the same time. Yes, it's alot of fireworks, but he shouldn't be able to weasel out of the allegations or soft-pedal his position. You did not invite this over-the-top barrage. Stop it in its tracks now.
And you better tell your friend before he tells her that you hit on him
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That was stupid if you ask me? Even Rugged wouldn't intentionally do something like that. I probably wouldn't tell your friend, but I would tell him. Rugged
I don't like vulgar talk generally, though. Others may feel differently.
