Mystery & Evasiveness (dating, long-term, women, kiss)

[sierraAZ]

I'm reading a book - God is a Woman: Dating Disasters by comedian Ian Coburn. It's a fun and easy read and yet it's packed with truths! It would make a great gift for all our clueless boys!

There are many topics worth discussing, but I'll focus on mystery and evasiveness as that's the first time I see it worded this way and it definitely makes sense to me.

Here are a few excerpts:

I also followed all the other lessons I've listed, like keeping things light and flirting a lot, not just during the initial meeting, but through first dates as well, even when women tried to be serious. Women call this "being mysterious." Oh-ooh. Dating articles and books always advise men to be mysterious to get women, but they don't typically define it or state why it works. Basically, being mysterious meant that women had to work to find out anything real about me. It didn't mean that I had a cool job, strange habits, or that I disappeared to somewhere unknown for hours at a time.


Really, this strategy is misnamed mysterious. A better name would be evasive. All I did was dodge questions while making jokes.

"What are your goals, Ian?"

"Well, after I finish this beer, I plan to kiss you."

The woman would laugh, "I mean your long-term goals."

"Oh, well, sex isn't out of the question, if you play your cards right."

Again, a laugh. That's what women call mysterious. Men call it evasive. I've learned that's a key difference between men and women; we both call the same things by different names.


I think I should've been born a man! I pretty much operate the same way dodging dumb questions and as much as I hate prying and stupid boring questions on dates, I think I'd make a great Casanova!

I wouldn't mind typing some more, but it's probably gonna be against the rules...

[mango tango]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

I'm reading a book - God is a Woman: Dating Disasters by comedian Ian Coburn. It's a fun and easy read and yet it's packed with truths! It would make a great gift for all our clueless boys!

There are many topics worth discussing, but I'll focus on mystery and evasiveness as that's the first time I see it worded this way and it definitely makes sense to me.

Here are a few excerpts:

I also followed all the other lessons I've listed, like keeping things light and flirting a lot, not just during the initial meeting, but through first dates as well, even when women tried to be serious. Women call this "being mysterious." Oh-ooh. Dating articles and books always advise men to be mysterious to get women, but they don't typically define it or state why it works. Basically, being mysterious meant that women had to work to find out anything real about me. It didn't mean that I had a cool job, strange habits, or that I disappeared to somewhere unknown for hours at a time.


Really, this strategy is misnamed mysterious. A better name would be evasive. All I did was dodge questions while making jokes.

"What are your goals, Ian?"

"Well, after I finish this beer, I plan to kiss you."

The woman would laugh, "I mean your long-term goals."

"Oh, well, sex isn't out of the question, if you play your cards right."

Again, a laugh. That's what women call mysterious. Men call it evasive. I've learned that's a key difference between men and women; we both call the same things by different names.


I think I should've been born a man! I pretty much operate the same way dodging dumb questions and as much as I hate prying and stupid boring questions on dates, I think I'd make a great Casanova!

I wouldn't mind typing some more, but it's probably gonna be against the rules...

LOL please do type more!! I have to admit that I do this too sometimes. I like to have a little fun with my words

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by mango tango

LOL please do type more!!

I think I'll get slapped...

[PassTheChocolate]

I'm fine with people telling me things on their own time, but this would annoy me if it went on for too long.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by mango tango

I have to admit that I do this too sometimes. I like to have a little fun with my words

Btw, even though it's supposedly a male technique, me thinks it works just fine for us, too! All people are lil' curious Georges really...

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate

I'm fine with people telling me things on their own time, but this would annoy me if it went on for too long.

Well, that's normally something people do in the initial stages of the game. Yes, it is a game, as much as some resent the term or are in denial about it.

[Chowhound]

I would answer this thread but I'm trying to be mysterious and evasive.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by Chowhound

I would answer this thread but I'm trying to be mysterious and evasive.

Afraid that's not the way to do it, Chow!

[mango tango]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

Btw, even though it's supposedly a male technique, me thinks it works just fine for us, too! All people are lil' curious Georges really...

I have to say that it doesn't work over text though. Then all you get back are those cryptic "i dnt undrstnd????"

[Chowhound]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

Afraid that's not the way to do it, Chow!

I've got no game, as the kids say......