the love of my life, doesn't want to wait for me? need advice (female, husband)

[ChessieMom]

Originally Posted by steelstress

Oh quit reading things people aren't saying. Mom can have a dating life all she wants. It's damn selfish and unfair of her to leave her kids because she has the hots for some dude who isn't even willing to give her time to get her ducks in a row. There's plenty of men she can date. She doesn't have to move to another country to do it. Right now he's "the love of her life." Yeah, well, her ex-husband was that at one time, too. Big deal. Whether the kids live with her or the dad, it's damn selfish of her to leave them till their grown.

You know, I find it amazing that a lot of mothers ignore and sacrifice their marriages to their kids' dad because "the kids come first." But they're only too willing to drop-kick their kids out of the way in their quest for the 2nd husband.

I agree. I'll never in a million years understand the mindset of a mother that willingly abandons her minor children for a man.

Regardless, I've read enough of the thread to feel that this guy is a loser all the way around. The OP should count her lucky stars and make a life in KY near her kids.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by selena1221

Well he told me he gave up his license because he almost hit a child when he was driving in the snow/ice a few years ago. So, he decided not to drive anymore. But I also know he has a history of seizures.

We didnt get married right away because he was still "legally" married to his ex-wife. She left him 15 years ago and he doesn't know where she is. But - he never even applied for the divorce. But now he says that is what he was going to do.

Also, at one point he gave me his word that we would move to KY to make a life, just a couple of months ago - since all that I was doing there wasnt working. But when it came down to it, he decided he didnt want to do that anymore. He just thinks the USA is unsafe. But, where I live in KY is way more safe than where we were living in Canada.

You know, I started changing my mind... It sounds like he's not that big of a loss after all. He "was going" to do one too many things. Also, it doesn't sound like your life would be comfortable, either.

As far as a Canadian not wanting to move to the US, I can't blame him for that.

[ChessieMom]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

You know, I started changing my mind... It sounds like he's not that big of a loss after all. He "was going" to do one too many things. Also, it doesn't sound like your life would be comfortable, either.

As far as a Canadian not wanting to move to the US, I can't blame him for that.

Yeah....the more I read, the more I think she is better off without him.

[Buburuza13]

YOUR CHILD COMES FIRST,you never put a man over your blood,your child!!if this man loves you so much,he will wiat for you!!!If not,to the hell with him!!ENOUGH FISH IN THE OCEAN!!!

Emigrating to a new country is not soo easy as you imagine!!You could make a big mistake!!You never lived with him together and you are ready to risk everything.

[Ceece]

This whole story....doubt it.

[eskercurve]

Hopefully you didn't divorce your husband for this loser.

[STT Resident]

[Creativeguy504]

Originally Posted by lovesMountains

To be THE most productive, successful individual they can become a child does most certainly need BOTH parents (providing that the parents are decent, well-grounded people themselves).

It's already going to handicap the kid that he doesn't live with both parents, but it will handicap him further if mom is 11 hours away. At least if she stays in her current situation the kid has both parents nearby and available to actually PARENT him. You can't really parent a child from such a great distance.

That's not true at all. Many outstanding people I know, were raised by a single parent.

[steelstress]

Originally Posted by Creativeguy504

That's not true at all. Many outstanding people I know, were raised by a single parent.

Not true at all? You've got to be kidding. You must be one of those people who believe fathers are disposable.

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by Creativeguy504

That's not true at all. Many outstanding people I know, were raised by a single parent.

There are exceptions to every rule, so it does happen - but the odds are against it. There's a reason it takes a male and female to procreate - because a child needs both a mother and father, and yes, I realize things "happen" and having both is not always possible. I'm just saying its the ideal to strive for to give a kid the best chance at a successful life.