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I married in 1974 and changed my name to my husband's name.
Flash forward to now -- I divorced him a few years ago and while I had the option to revert to my maiden name I opted not to as I was established for decades already in my married name.
As far as the kids go and what name they should take -- the name of the mother is the more prudent choice IMHO.
Have you ever heard the expression; "mama's baby, daddy's maybe..."??
no desire to change name-- is a strong indicator of where the marriage is going.
separate everything. very weak bonding.
marriage does not just finish badly- its starts badly.
why marry only to divorce.
25% of people are single
respect other peoples rights, live alone & dont marry them.
Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 01-05-2010 at 08:02 AM..
41 years ago, it never occured to me to NOT change my change. Then, after 28 years, my EX tried to insist that I change my name back. It infuriated him that I would not. But, I had children and grandchildren with the same name and I had used that name for way more years than I'd had my maiden name - which BTW was Smith - so nope, I refused. Besides, it pissed him off
Fast forward to today and I use my 1st married name, sometimes my S/O's last name (and we're not technically married), and sometimes a combination. It's easier to just use his as most people assume we are married - and so do we! But we've discussed it and he doesn't care - we have the best relationship and that's what matters.
If we had stayed in the same city where we'd met, I wouldn't have changed my name, since I was known professionally by my maiden name. But b/c we moved to another state right afterwards, I did change it. I felt it not only made us more a "unit", but would be better once we had kids.
My second question is how exactly do you change your last name to your husbands?
I ask because I suspose I was half and half. I never changed my name on my SS or DL or payroll. I signed some loans and had a bank account with my husbands last name and insurance policies with his name. Sometimes I signed/used my last name sometimes his depending on if I had to sign a particular way or what mood I was in. So did I change my name? We are now divorced and Im glad I didnt have to change everything back.
I really had no intentions, I was just lazy. There was no discussion but it is the norm to change names.
I think you're describing what my general idea was. You didn't technically change your name in a legal sense, which requires a lot of paperwork (or so I'm told by recently-married friends). Supposedly there's a website somewhere streamlining exactly what you need to do to legally take your husband's name that makes it somewhat easier, but it's still a hassle.
First, who has ever changed there last name to their husbands first name? I have never heard of this.
Yes, that's a new one to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
My second question is how exactly do you change your last name to your husbands?
It's been a while, but I think I changed my SS card first. I think I had to do that before I could change my driver's license, and I vaguely remember going to the SS office, so I probably had to do it in person. All I needed was a copy of my marriage certificate, though.
I'm not sure how easy it is to change it back. Maybe it's easy with a divorce certificate? (You get one of those, right?) Otherwise, I believe you have to get some kind of documentation of a legal name change from a judge.
After marriage, did you change your last name to that of your husband's last name or husband's first name? and If so, why?
1. Was it your intention to change?
2. Was it expected after marriage?(maybe you had a discussion with your better half earlier during courtship!)
This is just an academic exercise so please don't post questions such as 'why should a woman change her last name..etc..etc..'
.
I have seen/answered a similar thread before.
1. It was certainly my intention to change. Having my husband's last name is an honor and it demonstrates to the rest of the world that we have committed ourselves to each other and become a family. I would not consider having it any other way. It is a privilege to be his wife.
2. We never discussed it prior to getting married. I suppose if I had been adamant against changing it, for whatever reason, there would have been no problem with that also, but the idea of NOT changing it would be so foreign and so contrary to my values that anyone who knows me well (i.e. my husband) would know that NOT changing would have never, ever been a consideration.
It's been a while, but I think I changed my SS card first. I think I had to do that before I could change my driver's license, and I vaguely remember going to the SS office, so I probably had to do it in person. All I needed was a copy of my marriage certificate, though.
I'm not sure how easy it is to change it back. Maybe it's easy with a divorce certificate? (You get one of those, right?) Otherwise, I believe you have to get some kind of documentation of a legal name change from a judge.
So basically a marriage certificate does not change ones last name. You must take the marriage certificate to each organization that you have documents with a request a name change. I did not do this with most of my important documents.
Now when I got divorced, I had to request and have stated in the divorce papers that I wanted my previous name back. I had to show it to change my bank account, they didnt ask for it at the insurance co. Nothing else of importance had been changed when I got married.
This just dosent make sense to me. All I can figure is that I must have been doing something illegal for the last 10 yrs.
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