U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
 
 
Old 01-07-2010, 10:43 AM
 
6,046 posts, read 7,106,449 times
Reputation: 1860
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorrans View Post
The problem is many women love to advertise how "independent" they are, screaming from the roof top about it, lol. It's such a huge turn-off and unattractive. If they really are all that and a bag of chips, then they should shut up and let their actions do all the talking. Like you have done.

When a woman start banging on about how "independent" and "successful" she is, alarm bells start ringing. I hate self-centred who believe they are Jesus himself. Stop talking about it, if you are that great, it will shine through.
yeah but when I meet a guy i don't advertise it. I can't exactly let my actions do the talking on a message board- come on, that is impossible.
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-07-2010, 10:43 AM
 
3,536 posts, read 4,316,836 times
Reputation: 2400
Quote:
Originally Posted by MAtheBanker View Post
Dang, I know exactly how the OP feels. I'm 24, successful, own my home, etc., and I can't get a decent guy no matter how hard I try.

Yes, guys DO like the "bitchy ditzy bimbos with no money" because they're NEEDY and make guys feel "tough" when they can take care of them. Personally, I think the success of women like us is a turn-off for a lot of guys. They won't admit it, but it's true--we're proof!
Not all guys. Not all of us want the woman home barefoot and pregnant. Not all of us want bimbos who can't walk and chew gum at the same time. I prefer to have a woman who is smart and I can talk to. Looks only last for so long, who the person is lasts forever.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-07-2010, 10:46 AM
 
3,029 posts, read 2,052,716 times
Reputation: 2946
Men do not generally judge women by monetary success so they can get turned off by a woman who makes a big deal out of it and who views herself as superior to lower status women. It makes them appear snobbish and the men don't understand what's wrong with the waitress or secretary, and it makes the higher status women look like a b**ch. I think generally men like women who are empathetic and not so harsh on others.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-07-2010, 10:49 AM
 
Location: East Valley, AZ
3,753 posts, read 4,926,553 times
Reputation: 3705
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorrans View Post
Absolutely. So would I. The attitude of some of these so-called successful women stink and are so rotten, that I am not surprised no man would touch them with a ten foot pole. If they want a decent man, the bitchy attitude needs to go. They need to be more modest and they need to compromise as well.
It doesn't sound like these women are the ones with the attitude problem...

From what I've read from the OP, it doesn't sound like she's some puffed-up, prideful, every-word-out-of-her-mouth-is-dripping-with-distain type. You may see women like that out there, but certainly successful women are allowed to expect SOME sort of equal partner. You can interpret that mentality your own way, but not all of us have a holier-than-thou personality.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-07-2010, 10:50 AM
 
Location: My Private Island
4,928 posts, read 4,464,822 times
Reputation: 12139
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorrans View Post
Nah, you got that wrong. However, a single woman with a stinky attitude giving it the I'm-all-that is beneath a single mum who is honest and works hard for herself & her kids. At least to me.
Jolly good my dear sir! Jolly good!
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-07-2010, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Kuwait City, Kuwait.
1,125 posts, read 1,205,718 times
Reputation: 1013
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
Men do not generally judge women by monetary success so they can get turned off by a woman who makes a big deal out of it and who views herself as superior to lower status women. It makes them appear snobbish and the men don't understand what's wrong with the waitress or secretary, and it makes the higher status women look like a b**ch. I think generally men like women who are empathetic and not so harsh on others.
Aye, you got that right. Empathy and modesty gets you a long way. Successful women are very attractive, but successful women who make a huge deal out of it come across as snobbish and that is a big turn-off.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-07-2010, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Victoria TX
38,744 posts, read 37,239,681 times
Reputation: 28718
Men like to be in control, and are easily intimidated by women who look like they might threaten that sense of domination. A man doesn't like to be with a woman that he feels inferior to. Ask any tall girl.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-07-2010, 10:58 AM
 
Location: Iowa, Heartland of Murica
3,156 posts, read 3,166,078 times
Reputation: 2975
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
Men do not generally judge women by monetary success so they can get turned off by a woman who makes a big deal out of it and who views herself as superior to lower status women. It makes them appear snobbish and the men don't understand what's wrong with the waitress or secretary, and it makes the higher status women look like a b**ch. I think generally men like women who are empathetic and not so harsh on others.
I used to work as business banker for one of top 5 financial institutions and most of my successful women clients were total *******. I could care less if their business was booming and how much money they made, but I could not stand some of these women. I respect people who are truly smart and driven but some of these women were so incredibly dumb and they felt like they were all that. They could be making millions of dollars, I could care less, I would take a pleasant secretary or receptionist over any of these "independent, successful" women
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-07-2010, 11:00 AM
 
9,703 posts, read 12,018,823 times
Reputation: 7064
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jdawg8181 View Post
Someone educated- at least a bachelors, someone smart, someone nice, someone funny, someone decently attractive (he doesn't have to be the hottest thing going, but also don't want someone ugly either), someone who takes of himself physically (not necessarily some macho guy, but someone who watches what he eats and goes to the gym), someone who can support himself financially, someone who has a decent-good job...or is unemployed due to the state of economy and actively looking for a new one, someone supportive, someone who wants a commitment and a wife and kids one day (basically not the typical "bachelor" mentality).

Not required, but also it would be nice he had a good social life and was close with his family.
You ladies that are HOMEOWNERS! sound like a bunch of yakking dolphins waiting for someone to toss a fish into your mouth.

And I mean that in a nice way.

Essentially the problem is that you have a list of all these things you want(and I'm sure the list is even longer) but what do you have to offer beyond the superficial like being a HOMEOWNER! and having a job?

Being a hard nosed veteran of the dating scene one problem I have seen with women is that their body language or voice doesn't lend itself to announcing you are "open for business". Being the observant person I am, I notice a lot of the gals today walk around with an "attitude" and no, us men are not going to approach someone bristling with anger or attitude. Usually.

The reality is that all that stuff you want you are unlikely to find in one person. Nice, funny, chiseled abs, big bucks, supportive, educated, wants to have children and get married, social life, family, etc. The truth is that for one to have a hot body that means a lot of hours in the gym and not a lot working or getting educated. Earning lots of money or getting advanced degrees means not being in the gym often. Basically there are only so many hours a day to do all this stuff you want and every man is going to be a compromise.

So I think the best course of action is to look at your presentation, your verbal and body language communication and what you actually offer to others, not about what everyone can do for you.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-07-2010, 11:00 AM
 
12,608 posts, read 8,065,690 times
Reputation: 4699
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
True, but they shouldn't be diminshed because of it. Some guys are actually turned off by a woman's success.
Hi tamajane,

They are not diminished, just irrelevant. Unfortunately it inflates the woman's value in her mind. I don't need everything from one person. I just need what I cannot get elsewhere. Just for intellectual stimulation, I need multiple human and nonhuman sources. A career, while superficially a paradox, actually contributes to a specialized monotony. That is inherent in a division of labor. Since my social emphasis is creative rather than adoptive. I am not compensated for her status approval as she pays the price of specialized monotony. A VP in a corporate America is completely uninteresting to me. Basically the job itself would need to be interesting but sooner or later, I find the subject matter to be a monotony.

I do value a woman's creative abilities for sure.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top