What Comes Around Goes Around?? Always True? (wife, woman, cheating)

[MonaLisaVito]

I was out to lunch with one of my best friends a few months ago (a male) and he told me a story about having an affair on his wife about 12 years ago with a neighbor. The affair lasted a year. I won’t go into the details but looking back at that time, I do remember the two of them going through a rough time. Anyway, he said that after seeing this woman for a year, he came to his senses, broke it off and never ever cheated on his wife again. I gathered he was very remorseful from the way he talked about it and how it still bothered him to this day that he was ever unfaithful. Now usually I would think in my head “what comes around goes around” or “karma”, but I got to thinking, if someone does something really wrong, but they stop what they are doing and are truly remorseful and never make the mistake again, will Karma still get them? I’m a firm believer in what comes around goes around, but I’m a bigger believer in forgiveness and putting the past behind you. I told him he should let it go, he has already proven in the past 11 years that he is a good man.

Just wanted to know any thoughts on this? And please don’t turn this into a cheating thread - this can pertain to any situation in life.

And no, I haven’t been drinking tonight.

[the minx]

Originally Posted by MonaLisaVito

I was out to lunch with one of my best friends a few months ago (a male) and he told me a story about having an affair on his wife about 12 years ago with a neighbor. The affair lasted a year. I won’t go into the details but looking back at that time, I do remember the two of them going through a rough time. Anyway, he said that after seeing this woman for a year, he came to his senses, broke it off and never ever cheated on his wife again. I gathered he was very remorseful from the way he talked about it and how it still bothered him to this day that he was ever unfaithful. Now usually I would think in my head “what comes around goes around” or “karma”, but I got to thinking, if someone does something really wrong, but they stop what they are doing and are truly remorseful and never make the mistake again, will Karma still get them? I’m a firm believer in what comes around goes around, but I’m a bigger believer in forgiveness and putting the past behind you. I told him he should let it go, he has already proven in the past 11 years that he is a good man.

Just wanted to know any thoughts on this? And please don’t turn this into a cheating thread - this can pertain to any situation in life.

And no, I haven’t been drinking tonight.

He did it for a year. That is not a mistake.

A mistake is once - and never doing it again.

[mrstewart]

He is probably living in his own personal hell as a result of the remorse he feels so this may be his karma.

[Coolhand68]

I'm still undecided on the karma deal. For the most part I think you make your own heaven and hell, and if you choose a certain path in life the odds eventually catch up with you. The problem with karma is it's very inconsitent. Too many evil people live a happy life and die peacefully in their sleep at a ripe old age while children die of cancer. Just my .03 cents on the issue.

[mrstewart]

Originally Posted by Coolhand68

I'm still undecided on the karma deal. For the most part I think you make your own heaven and hell, and if you choose a certain path in life the odds eventually catch up with you. The problem with karma is it's very inconsitent. Too many evil people live a happy life and die peacefully in their sleep at a ripe old age while children die of cancer. Just my .03 cents on the issue.

Looks can be deceiving though. Sometimes I see folks who I feel should "have it coming to them" and they look so darn happy, guilt-free, and moving forward in life but then I have to wonder what they REALLY feel like when they try to rest their heads at night...

[MonaLisaVito]

Originally Posted by spinx

He did it for a year. That is not a mistake.

A mistake is once - and never doing it again.

True, so he made many mistakes, should he suffer forever? Never be forgiven?

Originally Posted by mrstewart

He is probably living in his own personal hell as a result of the remorse he feels so this may be his karma.

That's kinda what I told him. But I don't think a person should suffer forever over things they do wrong. Not just cheating, but anything they do wrong in life. I told him it was time to forgive himself and move one, he suffered enough.

[ChessieMom]

Originally Posted by mrstewart

He is probably living in his own personal hell as a result of the remorse he feels so this may be his karma.

I agree wth this^^.

[2RUGGED4YOU]

Originally Posted by MonaLisaVito

I was out to lunch with one of my best friends a few months ago (a male) and he told me a story about having an affair on his wife about 12 years ago with a neighbor. The affair lasted a year. I won’t go into the details but looking back at that time, I do remember the two of them going through a rough time. Anyway, he said that after seeing this woman for a year, he came to his senses, broke it off and never ever cheated on his wife again. I gathered he was very remorseful from the way he talked about it and how it still bothered him to this day that he was ever unfaithful. Now usually I would think in my head “what comes around goes around” or “karma”, but I got to thinking, if someone does something really wrong, but they stop what they are doing and are truly remorseful and never make the mistake again, will Karma still get them? I’m a firm believer in what comes around goes around, but I’m a bigger believer in forgiveness and putting the past behind you. I told him he should let it go, he has already proven in the past 11 years that he is a good man.

Just wanted to know any thoughts on this? And please don’t turn this into a cheating thread - this can pertain to any situation in life.

And no, I haven’t been drinking tonight.

It does and karma will get you every time. Like the old saying goes "paybacks are a b****"!LOL......

[mrstewart]

Originally Posted by MonaLisaVito

True, so he made many mistakes, should he suffer forever? Never be forgiven?



That's kinda what I told him. But I don't think a person should suffer forever over things they do wrong. Not just cheating, but anything they do wrong in life. I told him it was time to forgive himself and move one, he suffered enough.

You are a good friend to him. He probably needed to hear it in order to set himself free and able to forgive himself.

[wigirl920]

I also believe that what comes around, goes around...but I don't ALWAYS believe that the person necessarily "has it coming to them." To be completely honest, I think it would depend on the situation and whether or not I was personally impacted by whatever happened.