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A friend of mine told me that he and his wife just plain hate each other, and just do not talk. They only say things to each other if it relates to the household or children. They make every effort to avoid each other as much as possible. It has got so bad that they just hate being in the same room as each other. But they have 4 kids and also financially a Divorce would be a disaster.
The other reason they do not get a divorce or separate is just the emotional, physical and logistical hassle of the whole thing. Selling the house in today's real-estate market, finding an apartment, telling friends and relatives, and making all the difficult visitation rules. It is terrible being together but even worse making the moves to separate. Can you relate?
That is what my ex husband proposed long ago " does not matter what ever between us lets stay together for the child" Staying together for a child when everything fallen apart huh.. That does not help kid at all. I simply could not agree with it. For me it is impossible. So I went my self for a divorce and my life is much better than that. I feel so sorry for those poor kids. Seriously!
My father has told me on a couple of occasions that he only stayed married to his wife (not my mother), just for the sake of his two daughters. If a person is that unhappy, then why bother staying? I'm not sure who it's suppose to help.
Well I am in an extremely unhappy marriage. I won't divorce for religious reasons. I have no reason to believe he has been unfaithful, but honestly, that would have probably been better than what I go through with this man. He is the worst example of a loving husband one could find. He is selfish, unapologetic, abusive, lazy....etc. Basically everything his father was and his mother allowed. The most obvious example of him following his awful daddy's footseps- His father never accompanied his mom to any antenatal visits. He drove around "helping" others while she struggled on a bus to and from the doctor's visits. Then, when I was pregnant, he treated me like I didn't matter. I had a miscarriage while he was abroad and he didn't even call me back to find out if I was ok.
I literally stay up at nights crying when I remember all the things I've had to deal with from this spineless, selfish, immature person.
I have kept several things bottled up and when I do talk about some of the things he's done. He acts like I'm the one doing something wrong. He pushed me into a wall and choked me once bcuz I wanted yo discuss something he did. I have never once been violent with him. I feel soooo stupid sometimes for staying, like I've let myself down. I dnt even need to stay for financial gain bcuz he's been unemployed for several months and I have paid all the bills, bought all the groceries, did all the renovations around the house. Ugh. I should never have married this man!!!!!
I would call the police and press charges on a husband that choked me. At least if he kills me, they will know where to start looking for my murderer if I come up dead one day. If not, maybe he will learn to keep his vile hands to himself. I also would divorce him. The only person allowed to take my life is God.
If I belonged to a religion that says I must suffer from and fear my husband, I would look for a sect that liked my existence a little better than that, or give up on organized religion altogether. There is nothing preventing anyone from enjoying a 'personal' relationship with God.
Well, I can tell you growing up in a house where your parents are constantly yelling and fighting really sucked. me and my siblings (four of them) would tell our parents "If you guys hate each other so bad, then get a divorce!"
My mom was raised catholic and she didn't want my grandma to see her daughter get a divorce even though my mom was unfaithful. My dad was no saint either and in my eye a bit of a puss to put up with it. As soon as my grandma passed, my mom divorced my dad after 37 years of marriage and married her latest man three weeks after her divorce.
My mom's second husband passed after 11 months with her and my dad passed not long after that. Needless to say I have a very strained relationship with my mom...well not because of my parents fighting, more because I was a product of one of her affairs and her telling me she wished I was never born.
Well I am in an extremely unhappy marriage. I won't divorce for religious reasons. I have no reason to believe he has been unfaithful, but honestly, that would have probably been better than what I go through with this man. He is the worst example of a loving husband one could find. He is selfish, unapologetic, abusive, lazy....etc. Basically everything his father was and his mother allowed. The most obvious example of him following his awful daddy's footseps- His father never accompanied his mom to any antenatal visits. He drove around "helping" others while she struggled on a bus to and from the doctor's visits. Then, when I was pregnant, he treated me like I didn't matter. I had a miscarriage while he was abroad and he didn't even call me back to find out if I was ok.
I literally stay up at nights crying when I remember all the things I've had to deal with from this spineless, selfish, immature person.
I have kept several things bottled up and when I do talk about some of the things he's done. He acts like I'm the one doing something wrong. He pushed me into a wall and choked me once bcuz I wanted yo discuss something he did. I have never once been violent with him. I feel soooo stupid sometimes for staying, like I've let myself down. I dnt even need to stay for financial gain bcuz he's been unemployed for several months and I have paid all the bills, bought all the groceries, did all the renovations around the house. Ugh. I should never have married this man!!!!!
WOW! I feel for you kimDiva, but do you really want to use religion to continue to put yourself through h e ll?
Well I am in an extremely unhappy marriage. I won't divorce for religious reasons. I have no reason to believe he has been unfaithful, but honestly, that would have probably been better than what I go through with this man. He is the worst example of a loving husband one could find. He is selfish, unapologetic, abusive, lazy....etc. Basically everything his father was and his mother allowed. The most obvious example of him following his awful daddy's footseps- His father never accompanied his mom to any antenatal visits. He drove around "helping" others while she struggled on a bus to and from the doctor's visits. Then, when I was pregnant, he treated me like I didn't matter. I had a miscarriage while he was abroad and he didn't even call me back to find out if I was ok.
I literally stay up at nights crying when I remember all the things I've had to deal with from this spineless, selfish, immature person.
I have kept several things bottled up and when I do talk about some of the things he's done. He acts like I'm the one doing something wrong. He pushed me into a wall and choked me once bcuz I wanted yo discuss something he did. I have never once been violent with him. I feel soooo stupid sometimes for staying, like I've let myself down. I dnt even need to stay for financial gain bcuz he's been unemployed for several months and I have paid all the bills, bought all the groceries, did all the renovations around the house. Ugh. I should never have married this man!!!!!
I am so sad about this.
I have had this question...never knew whom to ask, or how, but now that it's here...how do people who stay together for religious reasons manage to live that way? You really are resigned to just dying without having really felt loved? Do you actually think something bad will happen to you (spiritually) if you divorce? I am legitimately asking, not pointing fingers.
By the way, one of the theories as to why divorce is on a downswing in recent years (it is actually likely a combination of factors; this is just one) is that we literally just can't afford it, nowadays. I mean we can not afford two households, especially if there are children.
I believe there's even a trend, though obviously it's still a minority, of people who are divorced but still live together as they can only afford the one house. They have separate areas, share the kitchen, etc., etc.
When you hear about people with a sex "understanding" (i.e. affairs) and that sort of thing, though it may sound cold and probably shocking, OTOH it may not actually be that they're just totally evil or selfish or anything. Some people truly are stuck but they still have needs, not all of these sexual but just a mutually admiring, mutually loving relationship that has now died between the spouses.
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