Living with a single mother & her kids... (man, cheats, young)
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Don't live with her, don't marry her, and don't adopt those children. I dated a single mother once and became very attached to her son. I don't see either anymore and it really sucks. Anyway, one of the women in my harem is a single mother: older but still quite attractive and slim. We date but I have nothing to do with her kid. It works out well, at least for me. His father is active and still in his life.
So date single mothers but avoid the kids- kids will entangle you.
DGFurman just summed it up perfectly. I'd also go with the first post regarding sitting her down and talking to her SPECIFICALLY about this, everything you typed in that post.
Sure, on one hand she may fly off and end things -- be prepared for that. On the other, it may break some ice and open up a venue for discussion.
I'd be more concerned about her short temper overall than I would the aggravation from the kids; they're kids, and with time you'll get used to it.
Yes, I agree. That post made a lot of sense to me and was spot on. We do have to find a middle ground on these issues. Luckily, we are both good at talking out our problems.
Sometimes I do feel like saying "F$@ this", it's not worth the aggravation. But, then when they're not around, and I look at the empty house and the kids pictures and drawings hung around, think about all the good times - I think, wow, I'm lucky to have them in my life. Yeah, it probably would've been easier to meet someone and start a family of our own. But, it didn't work out that way, and maybe I'm tired of being alone. What if I walk, and then after more years of dating realize I made a mistake. Besides, I never believed that family is simply the people you're biologically related to, they're what you make it.
Don't live with her, don't marry her, and don't adopt those children. I dated a single mother once and became very attached to her son. I don't see either anymore and it really sucks. Anyway, one of the women in my harem is a single mother: older but still quite attractive and slim. We date but I have nothing to do with her kid. It works out well, at least for me. His father is active and still in his life.
So date single mothers but avoid the kids- kids will entangle you.
Quote of the day "It works out well, at least for me". FUNNY!!!!!
Yeah, hot single mommy isn't exactly looking for hit it and quit it. She's looking for a guy who will commit, stick around, and at least be a halfway decent father figure to her kids.
If that ain't you, then go bang fugly. And leave the hot single mom for a respectable single dad.
So what are women with kids supposed to do? Just stay single and never date their whole lives? I mean give me a break. Get real people.
Yes. You made your decision to start a family, now you get to raise them. The time of romancing and dating is OVER with. You need to focus on your kids, not your love life.
Yes. You made your decision to start a family, now you get to raise them. The time of romancing and dating is OVER with. You need to focus on your kids, not your love life.
Wow. So Im 32 with two kids. My wife was a cheating ****. So I guess Im f**ked. Guess Ill buy a cat and never date or have sex until Im at least 50. Damn why couldnt I be psychic and predict my wife cheating on me and totally changing before I started a family with her?
Im sorry but that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ameiko Skipping through but here is my take:
move out.
Don't live with her, don't marry her, and don't adopt those children. I dated a single mother once and became very attached to her son. I don't see either anymore and it really sucks. Anyway, one of the women in my harem is a single mother: older but still quite attractive and slim. We date but I have nothing to do with her kid. It works out well, at least for me. His father is active and still in his life.
So date single mothers but avoid the kids- kids will entangle you.
Quote of the day "It works out well, at least for me". FUNNY!!!!!
Do you actually have anything positive to say? Or useful? Or rational?
Yeah, hot single mommy isn't exactly looking for hit it and quit it. She's looking for a guy who will commit, stick around, and at least be a halfway decent father figure to her kids.
Well this hot single mommy isn't complaining too much and she can walk away anytime she wants. She hasn't so your comment clearly do not apply yet you decided to go on a knee jerk tirade.
BTW, she HAD a guy like that- she divorced him because she wasn't happy anymore. If she wants a new one, well she can drop me and look.
If that ain't you, then go bang fugly. And leave the hot single mom for a respectable single dad.
Gee, why should *I* only have sex with a "fugly" just because I don't want to commit? WTH are *you* to tell me to do that? It's a choice between herself and me, NOT you. If she wants a new husband or father (both I doubt since she is enjoying her freedom and daddy is still in her son's life), again she's free to go elsewhere but she's staying with me.
Everytime you think you know this place, a new low is hit...
It sounds to me like you bought much more into this relationship as far as having a life and living and that it has helped enhance her life. While on the other hand it seems like she bought all her baggage and nothing else to enhance what you have already had and given. Then to make matters worse she complains alot and gives you a good dose of ****, which in turn makes you feel like "i don,t need this crap in my life". So in turn you feel like you have been and continue to be taken advantage of. I would get out of the relationship and remember that there will definately be another woman coming along. Enjoy your life!
My girlfriend & I started dating a bit over a year and a half ago (I'm 31 & she's 32 now). She was recently divorced and had two kids (one 8-month old girl & one 4yr. old boy.) I met her kids early on, as we didn't really have any other option if we wanted to see each other. I didn't mind, since I'm not really into partying and am somewhat of a home body, and I've always liked kids. However, she did have a lot of emotional baggage from a father that drank and wasn't at home much, to the ex who turned out to be a dead beat with numerous issues. I saw these as red flags, but I really liked her and the kids and didn't let it stop me.
She and the kids moved in with me about six months ago. Let me just say, I love her kids - they are beautiful, loving little rugrats. And they love me a lot, her son is always talking about me at school, to his grandparents, etc. He really looks up to me and sort of idolizes me. But, he is also ADHD and can be extremely difficult to deal with a lot of the time. He's like a tasmanian devil on speed. Every morning he is up at the crack of dawn (including weekends, sometimes as early as 5:30 am), and let's just say I'm not a morning person. I wouldn't mind if he came in and layed with us or played quietly, but if he's up - he's not going to let you sleep. Since they've moved in, I've started waking up an hour before I normally have to for work, so I can walk him to the bus or take him to school, while Mom heads to work and drops the toddler off at day care. During the week, as soon as I get home - my girlfriend is usually making dinner and I'll watch the kids while she does that. Then we clean up together, get the kids ready for bed, etc. This is no easy feat, every night we spend nearly an hour trying to get him to stay in his bed, he's constantly getting up for numerous excuses (I'm too scared, I'm thirsty, I'm hungry, the dog won't sleep with me, my legs hurt, it's too dark, you didn't tuck me in - we've heard them all). Needless to say this can get tiresome and quite annoying, especially on nights when we want some intimacy. It often ends up with both of us too tired for anything intimate. Luckily the 2 year old is relatively easy to deal with in comparison.
With all that said, I feel like her expectations are a little too high for me, and we often argue about responsibilities. She has a very short temper and gets angry very easily if I don't do what she expects. I feel like any help I give her with the kids, is in fact help, and not my job or responsibility. However, she will get mad at me and start yelling if I'm not up to help her get the kids ready in the morning. Or, if I want to sleep in a little late on the weekend and she has to get up with the kids by herself. And forget about ever coming home from work to just relax instead of helping with the kids. Also, she is not the neatest person on earth, and it doesn't take long for the kids to destroy and mess up the house. She would rarely pick up after them or have them pick up after themselves - and then at the end of the week, she would expect me to spend half the day with her, helping clean up her and her kids messes. We ended up getting a maid to come every few weeks, and this has dramatically helped with those burdens. But, even now, when her lone house chore is doing the laundry, she'll complain if I don't help her do them or fold them (not to mention 90% of them are her & the kids stuff). I realize it's a very difficult job for her raising two kids and try to help as much as I can, but I feel like my help is not appreciated most of the time and just expected of me. She often loses her temper with the ADHD son and screams at him to stop whatever he's doing wrong, yet will criticise me if I do. I feel like sometimes I'm taken for granted, and not given the credit I'm due for helping out, especially with such a difficult child.
Sometimes I really feel like saying F@*! this, peace out - good luck on your own. But, we really do love each other and with the kids I can't just walk away without it being a really good reason. We are very good at talking out the majority of our problems, but it's a conflict I can't seem to resolve very easily. Am I being selfish for not wanting to help sometimes or not feeling like it's my responsibility? Is she expecting too much of me? I'm sure it's a little of both, but would like to hear from others who have been in similar situations, or even single mothers and what they think.
Thanks, if you actually read this whole stream of conscious rant. I really appreciate any opinions or advise.
If you "really love her," marry her and make a family of it...
Since you're not married, I don't think you should have any responsibility in "helping out" with her kids.
I think she is getting an amazing deal. A live in father to help raise her children. Looks like your dad didn't teach you how to be a man. I suggest you grow some b##ls and look at your self in the mirror and ask yourself WTH I am doing with my life. PLEASE PLEASE do yourself a favor and do not have a kid with this woman. You will thank me in the long run
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