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True, but I don't wish to let my folks down. I'm an only child so if I don't have a kid, the family pretty much dies and it'll be because of me. Therefore, I feel as though it's my responsibility to carry on the bloodlines.
So you would get married and have a kid for this reason alone?
Maybe I'm not understanding, but why is it so important to "carry on the bloodlines" and why is this a good reason to have kids?
True, but I don't wish to let my folks down. I'm an only child so if I don't have a kid, the family pretty much dies and it'll be because of me. Therefore, I feel as though it's my responsibility to carry on the bloodlines.
However, don't get me wrong: if I had other siblings, I definitely wouldn't marry and probably wouldn't have any kids either.
You don't have any responsability to keep the family line. This isn't the 18th century anymore. Well, I can only say I pity your future hypothetical child.
So you would get married and have a kid for this reason alone?
Maybe I'm not understanding, but why is it so important to "carry on the bloodlines" and why is this a good reason to have kids?
Oh, come on! Don't act like you aren't aware of the fact that many parents pressure their kids into getting married and having kids. Even if they don't come out and demand you do those things, they sure know how to guilt trip you. My folks have done everything for me (including paying for college and law school) so I feel like the least I can do is make them happy in this way. Hopefully, by the time I actually end up doing it (somewhere between 40-45), I'll no longer be interested in the single/hookup lifestyle.
Oh, come on! Don't act like you aren't aware of the fact that many parents pressure their kids into getting married and having kids. Even if they don't come out and demand you do those things, they sure know how to guilt trip you. My folks have done everything for me (including paying for college and law school) so I feel like the least I can do is make them happy in this way. Hopefully, by the time I actually end up doing it (somewhere between 40-45), I'll no longer be interested in the single/hookup lifestyle.
Okay so you feel like you owe it to them to have a kid, even though you don't really want a child? Everyone has their reasons...I just hope youreally want the child/ren when you start a family.
I have noticed over the past year so many friends and aquaintances with huge relationship issues. It seems this age is where the gloss of being in your 20's wear off - children may now be in the mix, careers and you begin to consider the future and the limited time left - so you reevaluate and reconsider your choices. Its almost as if marriages that past beyond this age are either second marriages; a relationship where both parties are willing to compromise and put up with certain things that may not be optimal; or are destined for failure. A friend posted on FB - you know its time for a divorce when - and she got more responses than I have ever seen on a post - and very probative, painful, raw responses. Im amazed by how torn and hard these life decisions can be even after a bit more living under your belt. Thoughts? Experiences?
Maybe im just in a funk.
You know time are changing. What was old for the Baby Boomers and Gen X is not going to be old for us Gen Yers. We are a whole new generation and the people born in the first part of our generation started turning 30 in 2010. I am 31 now. We are a generation of change.
You don't have any responsability to keep the family line. This isn't the 18th century anymore. Well, I can only say I pity your future hypothetical child.
I agree. WTF?
Carry the family blood line?
How important is your family blood line, especially if it produces offspring who 'don't care to contribute to society'?
Bicoastal, you are smart enough and insightful enough to realize that life is not what you want and it won't make you happy. So don't do it. Don't put a kid through that. Don't put yourself through that.
Ummm..no. My only goals in life are to make as much money as possible (at least $3-4 million in net worth by 50), bed as many women as possible, travel as much as I possibly can, and just have as much fun as I possibly can. I have virtually no interest in anything else (and don't really care about making a positive contribution to humanity either),
Of course you don't.
Quote:
but unfortunately, since my parents are expecting at least 1 grandchild at some point, I'll probably have to throw in the towel and get married and have a kid. However, I'm delaying that for as long as I possibly can; at least after 40 (which gives me over a decade to continue my shenanigans and be single).
Case in point.
Quote:
Moreover, as far as you saying "that's what these men learn from their own fathers", that doesn't apply to me. My parents have been married for 30+ years, but I have absolutely no desire for that lifestyle and have concluded that it's just not for me. That kind of life might have been necessary 20-30 years ago when women weren't as loose and when there weren't as many options in terms of dating, but not these days.
You are the result of your upbringing. We all are. That you would have children to fill an obligation to your parents, rather than a sense of being an independent, whole man with a deep sense of self and value, is likely something you learned from your own father. You were probably an obligation for him as well. Your son will learn this from you and teach it to his own children. I think if many of us stopped and paused we would see our parents within ourselves; some probably more than they would prefer.
You are the result of your upbringing. We all are. That you would have children to fill an obligation to your parents, rather than a sense of being an independent, whole man with a deep sense of self and value, is likely something you learned from your own father. You were probably an obligation for him as well. Your son will learn this from you and teach it to his own children. I think if many of us stopped and paused we would see our parents within ourselves; some probably more than they would prefer.
In the past most people were obligations to their parents, it's not something uncommon at all.
In the past most people were obligations to their parents, it's not something uncommon at all.
Yea, I think many go/went through the motions without a thought. It's the sheeple mentality and appears to be the MO for many, if not most. Folk are just herded along, be it via social norms, religion, or consumerism.
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I have noticed over the past year so many friends and aquaintances with huge relationship issues. It seems this age is where the gloss of being in your 20's wear off - children may now be in the mix, careers and you begin to consider the future and the limited time left - so you reevaluate and reconsider your choices. Its almost as if marriages that past beyond this age are either second marriages; a relationship where both parties are willing to compromise and put up with certain things that may not be optimal; or are destined for failure. A friend posted on FB - you know its time for a divorce when - and she got more responses than I have ever seen on a post - and very probative, painful, raw responses. Im amazed by how torn and hard these life decisions can be even after a bit more living under your belt. Thoughts? Experiences?
Age 35-40 - relationship breakdown inevitable?
