Moving forward in an online relatinship (dates, women, call, divorced)
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I have to agree with those who wonder if he is married. I'm really not trying to be pessimistic but don't be too naive...people lie about things and/or conveniently leave information out. Some people get a kick out of manipulating others. Do you know for a fact that he went to Greece or are you relying only on what he told you?
The biggest red flags: the month-long disappearance with no warning, the fact that it took him a month to even read your heart-felt email (and even though he sent you a message just after Christmas, it took him til after New Years to respond?) and your "relationship" has been online only.
You may be one of the lucky ones but I have to agree with the majority here....if you try to move forward with this, you will likely only get your heart broken
A few months ago I met this man online. It wasn’t through a dating site but a forum very similar to this one. It wasn’t unusual for guys to add me to messenger to try and talk me up. So when he requested that we talk privately I did so under the impression that I would be ignoring him once he tried to get me to cyber with him or something like so many of them did. I was surprised that he was not like that at all and generally wanted to get to know me and talk to me. Several times we would spend all afternoon online just talking to each other. And this went on for months.
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OMG! There are so many problems with your story I won't even go into it!uh HELLO , the dude is full of it. "oh I love you too" then don't hear from him for a month?!!
he has never said he loves me but now I am beginning to wonder if I'm being too naive. Like to was too good to be true. It's just upsetting to me that he could be possibly lying about everything. Maybe I wanted to give him the benefit of doubt.
Should I at least offer him the chance to come clean about anything going on? On the off chance that there really isn't? Cause if there isn't I don't want to make a mistake and regret it, but i also want to know for sure if he's been lying to me. Or should I just stop cold turkey and try to forget it ever happened?
he has never said he loves me but now I am beginning to wonder if I'm being too naive. Like to was too good to be true. It's just upsetting to me that he could be possibly lying about everything. Maybe I wanted to give him the benefit of doubt.
Should I at least offer him the chance to come clean about anything going on? On the off chance that there really isn't? Cause if there isn't I don't want to make a mistake and regret it, but i also want to know for sure if he's been lying to me. Or should I just stop cold turkey and try to forget it ever happened?
YES. You are being INCREDIBLY naive. Listen to the posts here. Lots and LOTS of experience. Wake up and shake out of it!!
he has never said he loves me but now I am beginning to wonder if I'm being too naive. Like to was too good to be true. It's just upsetting to me that he could be possibly lying about everything. Maybe I wanted to give him the benefit of doubt.
Should I at least offer him the chance to come clean about anything going on? On the off chance that there really isn't? Cause if there isn't I don't want to make a mistake and regret it, but i also want to know for sure if he's been lying to me. Or should I just stop cold turkey and try to forget it ever happened?
Honestly, you should probably just let it go - there are just way too many red flags here. Some people get a kick out of playing others' feelings and that really sounds like it's the case here. You'll probably never know his true motivation and if he's been stringing you along all this time, the odds of him copping to the lying are pretty darn slim. I just don't know that it's worth asking him a bunch of questions in hopes that he will tell you the truth.
There is nothing wrong with giving someone the benefit of the doubt. In the future, just keep your eyes wide open and don't automatically assume you're being told the truth about everything. Watch for the red flags and tread carefully.
Next time you are online with him - say "So are you busy or relaxed tonight?" When he comes back with "Yep nothing going on" say "Great! Let's chat on the phone - right now! Here's my number ---------- - or send me yours if you want me to call you - I need to hear your voice!"
If he squirms out of it or tries to delay you in anyway, you've got your answer and something is up. And regardless of why that may be (as per Antlered - take your pick: wife, girlfriend, fat, English problems, etc. ) he is hiding something and I suspect you have wasted enough time playing games and should just end it.
PS. I met my husband online - so I am definitely of the belief that relationships that start online can be successful - but they cannot continue online - they need to come into the real world. This guy really sounds like he is hiding something.
Last edited by sunshineleith; 01-13-2010 at 08:37 AM..
Reason: tried to add an "o" to chose and make choose . . . but can't
Next time you are online with him - say "So are you busy or relaxed tonight?" When he comes back with "Yep nothing going on" say "Great! Let's chat on the phone - right now! Here's my number ---------- - or send me yours if you want me to call you - I need to hear your voice!"
If he squirms out of it or tries to delay you in anyway, you've got your answer and something is up. And regardless of of it may be (as per Antlered - take your pick: wife, girlfriend, fat, English problems, etc. ) he is hiding something and I suspect you have wasted enough time playing games and should just end it.
I second this. Do it right away, so you can stop wasting your time on him.
Next time you are online with him - say "So are you busy or relaxed tonight?" When he comes back with "Yep nothing going on" say "Great! Let's chat on the phone - right now! Here's my number ---------- - or send me yours if you want me to call you - I need to hear your voice!"
If he squirms out of it or tries to delay you in anyway, you've got your answer and something is up. And regardless of why that may be (as per Antlered - take your pick: wife, girlfriend, fat, English problems, etc. ) he is hiding something and I suspect you have wasted enough time playing games and should just end it.
PS. I met my husband online - so I am definitely of the belief that relationships that start online can be successful - but they cannot continue online - they need to come into the real world. This guy really sounds like he is hiding something.
Excellent idea! That should weed out fact from fiction.
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Your Mission if You Chose to Accept it . . . .
) he is hiding something and I suspect you have wasted enough time playing games and should just end it. 
