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You never really know what they're like in person until you see them in person.
As far as the "wow" factor goes, would you rather have a flashy sports car that's usually in the shop, or a Yugo that's dependable and always gets you where you need to go?
The problem is none of the guys who've contacted me really "wow" me.
Maybe you should find someone who does "wow" you, and try to "wow" them?
It might give you some perspective on how easy it is to "wow" someone of the opposite sex with a self-written description and a set of photographs, all while telling the truth.
I finally got back on a couple online dating sites after a break-up three months ago, and so far haven't been out on any dates.
However, this isn't because guys haven't contacted me. In fact, I probably get about two or three e-mails or "winks and/or icebreakers" every day. The problem is none of the guys who've contacted me really "wow" me.
I'm wondering though, what's worse? Going out on a date that most likely won't end up in romance, or staying home watching TV and posting on C-D?
So, I guess I'm looking for a bit of encouragement to just get out there and go on a few dates with guys, even if they're not "all that". I might end up at least making a new friend or two, yes?
I just hate the thought of leading anyone on, or wasting someone's time.
Dating sucks!
When you say they don't "wow" you, does that mean you already have enough information on them before going out that you can be sure that something isn't likely to click for you? Or is it something that you just feel based on looks, personality, or something else?
How can I get into the brains of the 40ish women (cough cough) and tell them that the glorious teenage dreams of "I have to either feel Wow, or nothing" are stiffling them!
All my Wows in my 20s-30s turned into heartbreaks. I shiver at the thought what would happen if I still waited for the Wow factor in my 40s.... The only man who I didn't even consider for anything more than a friend, did a slow fascinating journey to my heart.... I wish over-40, 50, 60 etc women would let go already of the "I have to feel something instantly" thought, because they are going to miss THE one.
Addendum:
Online dates are different though, and I agree that once you feel there is nothing, most likely there is nothing. To have a slow courtship (in the slow-cooking age, heh) one has to be around each other for a while, which doesn't happen with a single awkward online date.
i can agree with your stance tropical thunder. i went on a lot of dates i thought would suck last year and a lot of them did. i now take the online thing a little slower and try and find some quality girls to go out with. bad dates suck even more for a guy because it's money out of our pockets.
if you are bored watching tv and posting at nights might be a good idea to take up a new hobby. i've recently done that and it has kept me very busy. i went from dating 2-4 girls at a time to not caring if i have a date for the week or not.
I can think of a 1000 better things to do then go on a bad date with some lame woman I have no interest in.......
One thing I started to do is never cave to what other people think you should do or whatever. If it's something I don't want to do then I don't do it. If it doesn't feel comfortable to me then I don't do it.
Guh, you're just the black hole of happiness. And you've made your dating requirements all too clear, but I digress. It would be silly to go out with a lame person you have no interest in. Wouldn't it? That is hardly the point.
Consider the arena. You can gauge somewhat from a profile, but if you're going to do the online thing, you have to consider all the variables and you must be willing to factor meeting people, quite a few, into your schedule. Some people are better verbal than they are written. There is no tone or inflection in email. Some people are to the point and don't write much in their profiles at all. That's not to say this is the case with all of them and you should meet everyone you find online. But it is not as black and white as , "He's lame so I'm gonna stay home and post on CD instead."
And what is "lame" in this scenario? Is it what they actually wrote in their profile? Then sure, write them off. But if it is what they didn't write, well, that may come to light once you meet. Keep in mind that these people have probably been through the rainbow of time-wasters as well and want to keep things simple until they actually find someone worthy of sharing more with.
I finally got back on a couple online dating sites after a break-up three months ago, and so far haven't been out on any dates.
However, this isn't because guys haven't contacted me. In fact, I probably get about two or three e-mails or "winks and/or icebreakers" every day. The problem is none of the guys who've contacted me really "wow" me.
I'm wondering though, what's worse? Going out on a date that most likely won't end up in romance, or staying home watching TV and posting on C-D?
So, I guess I'm looking for a bit of encouragement to just get out there and go on a few dates with guys, even if they're not "all that". I might end up at least making a new friend or two, yes?
I just hate the thought of leading anyone on, or wasting someone's time.
Dating sucks!
Well, I have a different opinion, but what else is new. I happen to like dating...going out and meeting people. Now, I love my alone time...I really do. And most nights I am fine with working out at the gym until it closes and coming home and hitting the sack. That's pretty much what I have done for years and years on my "free nights" (when my son was at his dad's). But come Friday or Saturday night...I would get antsy and I want to DO something...go somewhere, hear some music. Preferably WITH someone.
So after I decided to start dating again, I spent a year or so checking out the bars with my girlfriend. I did meet/date a couple of guys...but no one that was really LTR material. So it really got old, fast. And shoot, she got back with her BF and that left me to fend for myself. Which I was fine with, for a while...but not all the time. Add to that that I don't have THAT much time in the first place...what with my son, and the gym, and work. So I tried the online dating thing...and I've been doing it now, on and off, for almost 5 years I guess...since my son was 12.
I've had several relationships now...obviously they all ended for one reason or another, but the reasons would be the same, no matter how we met. All were "normal" guys, all looking for committed relationships. We just were not compatible, in the end. And you can't know that from the start, anyway - that just takes time, and luck. I'm in a good relationship now, and yes I met him via the POF site...surprisingly enough. I've always liked match, but both have worked for me. I will say that no one should ever go on these sites with the intention of meeting someone right away, or even within a couple of months. It takes time, and patience. If you don't give it 6 months, then you haven't given it a good effort. I'm all about perserverance.
What kind of man are you are hoping to meet? What's your target type?
I know that you don't know me but ...I'm sorry to hear about your wife passing away
It's sounds like you definitely have the right ideal...having female friends for companionship based on common interests. At least until you find a lady that you consider as a romantic partner.
I am old-fashioned and know that I would never have a "friends with fringe benefits" type relationship and am hopeful that I'll find a few guys for a platonic relationship also. Especially once I move to another state, being that I'll have no friends and not know anyone there.
I wish you the best on your journey to love, once again...and meanwhile enjoy life and what your lady friends have to offer!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by WyoNewk
Exactly!
After the death of my late wife, I dated a few women who I wouldn't/couldn't have considered as viable romantic partners. I didn't always make that too clear to them, which was a minor mistake, but for the most part I just made some new friends.
I figured dinner with a new friend is better than dinner alone. I had different friends for different occasions. All were good for dining in or out, but one liked movies, another nature photography, another casinos. One was, like me, a former newspaper editor, so we had a lot in common to talk about. It beat being alone all the time, and I enjoyed female companionship even if kept strictly platonic.
(I wrote this last night and found it on my desktop this morning, unposted. Oops....)
I'll be happy to meet guys that even want to hang out in a platonic relationship....let alone "wow" me!!!
I always aim to please when it comes to "wowing" them...
There were many posts to this thread, so I do apologize if this is repetitive:
You can not judge a book by it's cover....just because someone is handsome, sexy, etc....does not mean that they would be a good match for you. The only way you can truly know is by getting to know things about the person. Trust me, find out if they have the "inner beauty" - what type of person they are!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by rubber_factory
Maybe you should find someone who does "wow" you, and try to "wow" them?
It might give you some perspective on how easy it is to "wow" someone of the opposite sex with a self-written description and a set of photographs, all while telling the truth.
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I happen to like dating...going out and meeting people. Now, I love my alone time...I really do. And most nights I am fine with working out at the gym until it closes and coming home and hitting the sack. That's pretty much what I have done for years and years on my "free nights" (when my son was at his dad's). But come Friday or Saturday night...I would get antsy and I want to DO something...go somewhere, hear some music. Preferably WITH someone. 
