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Old 01-13-2010, 12:30 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
279 posts, read 624,229 times
Reputation: 356

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Thanks for all the advice so far, I really appreciate it. I realize its not fair to her either I don't want to keep hurting her either, I love spending time with her, we have all the same interests, but when we do fool around it can be awesome. Sex addiction on my part might play into it as well (more towards guys).

Keep the advice coming...


Thanks,
Steve
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Old 01-13-2010, 12:34 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
279 posts, read 624,229 times
Reputation: 356
I don't think I'm gay, I like being sexual with women too. I am also far more attracted to women than guys (somewhat attracted to guys, very attracted to women).
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Old 01-13-2010, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
5,077 posts, read 14,623,536 times
Reputation: 3784
Quote:
Originally Posted by SATX_GUY View Post
I don't think I'm gay, I like being sexual with women too. I am also far more attracted to women than guys (somewhat attracted to guys, very attracted to women).

Steve, Steve, Steve.... Key word being "think" as in, "I don't think I'm gay, I like being sexual with women too."
I really feel strongly that you should seek out a sex therapist. With you mentioning possibly being a sex addict, ED, and a plethora of other things, you just nee to see someome who specializes in this area who can really sit down with you and figure out whats going on.
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Old 01-13-2010, 12:52 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,357,275 times
Reputation: 8075
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Dan View Post
Dont you argue with me woman!!!!!!!!! The OP's dalliances with other women seem to be no more than him not wanting to admit that he really is a rump ranger. he would probably be happier if he justs admits it and moves on with his life. No more confusion for him that way.

Don't you know not to argue with a woman!!!??? LOL.

I still disagree. He is already married, he doesn't need to prove people around him that he is not gay anymore. Can't you see?
Looks like he just likes variety if anything. Didn't you read that he said that he watches straight porn too? Would a gay man have any interest in watching straight porn?
Lastly - just because he fantasizes about other men while he is having sex with his wife doesn't mean that he is straight up gay either. I fantasize about all kinds of kinky stuff too, doesn't make me a lesbian.
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Old 01-13-2010, 12:59 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
279 posts, read 624,229 times
Reputation: 356
I usually watch straight porn! People would be shocked if they knew I was bi, I come accross pretty straight as do the guys I'm with.
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Old 01-13-2010, 01:00 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
6,777 posts, read 13,523,708 times
Reputation: 6584
Quote:
Originally Posted by SATX_GUY View Post
I usually watch straight porn! People would be shocked if they knew I was bi, I come accross pretty straight as do the guys I'm with.
I picked it up quite awhile ago
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Old 01-13-2010, 01:16 PM
 
3,059 posts, read 8,265,681 times
Reputation: 3281
Quote:
Originally Posted by SATX_GUY View Post
I don't think I'm gay, I like being sexual with women too. I am also far more attracted to women than guys (somewhat attracted to guys, very attracted to women).
I think you probably know your own sexuality better than people on the forum. With all due respect to my fellow posters, they seem to exhibit the gender bias that exists in our society in general - the belief that many women are bisexual, but men must somehow be forced to "admit" they are "not bi but gay". I for one take your word for it. You're bi.

You are very brave, as others have said, to finally "out" your story after your other dances around it.

It seems to me that your wife went into the marriage with adequate knowledge of your varied sexual tastes. Her current position that you are free to do what you want to do as long as you do not flaunt it/bring it home, etc., is also indicative that none of this is a surprise for her. Not her ideal marriage, but liveable for her, provided you respect her boundaries.

Your marriage could very well work on the mutual understandings. needs, and limitations that you both admit and agree to. It certainly wouldn't be my cup of tea, but your marriage, and your definition of it is for you to decide upon and live with. What works for some people doesn't work for others.

i concur with others here that have suggested you get counselling to help you get through this confusing time.

I wish you the best.
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Old 01-13-2010, 01:27 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
279 posts, read 624,229 times
Reputation: 356
Thanks.
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Old 01-13-2010, 01:52 PM
 
Location: Philly
1,776 posts, read 3,999,152 times
Reputation: 834
Call Eric Benet and find out what quack he visited. You sound like you are addicted to sex and can't keep it in your pants, male or female.
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Old 01-13-2010, 02:28 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,765 posts, read 40,091,372 times
Reputation: 18071
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
Not necessarily. A man who is truly gay will not be seeking to be with women AT ALL and the OP said that he cheated on his wife with women as well.
My thoughts are that the OP is a sex addict who lusts after both women and men. Maybe he does indeed love his wife, but he is unable to control his sexual urges towards other people. Perhaps some professional therapy is in order for his sexual addiction problem.
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