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Did you miss that feminism didn't ruin things for me? I don't have to put up with the crap my grandmother did. I don't have to be treated like someone's slave and pretend I'm blessed to have the honor. IMO, feminism has improved relationships, for women. I have no doubt men feel like it ruined theirs. It took away their slaves.
At my grandfather's funeral, my grandmother blew up at the umpteenth person offering condolences. I will never forget standing next to her and hearing my wise, and proper, grandmother say "If times had been different I would have divorced the b*#%#$@.".
My husband can't treat me like she was treated. I'd leave. I can leave because of feminsim. Feminism gave us a way out. I'm sorry men don't like that. They have to actually be nice to us now to get us to stay. How awful for them. Yes, that really ruined relationships for you guys.
Must disagree, it seems it has given you a very bad attitude. Marriage does not equal slavery. Your grandmother made a poor choice when she selected a spouse, but that doesn't mean that marriage per se is bad or that a wife per se is a slave.
It's not up to a man to "get us to stay" by being nice. (Nor, for an example I hear from the other side, is it up to a woman to be sexually satisfying to get him to stay or not stray.) A marriage is a partnership and it is up to both parties to make things work and create a happy, healthy loving environment.
Having a way out is important. But you have taken this beyond having the ability to leave a bad situation, and have happily entered into territory in which men are the enemy who are trying to enslave women. And that is one example of how feminism has failed us. There's no happy middle anymore - a man is either thoroughly emasculated by his woman, or he is trying to enslave her.
Well, the divorce by publication seems like it may or may not cost money. You're supposed to figure out where she had her last residence, try to have her served, if she can't be located then publish a notice...in the local paper? Something along those lines. How do you file your taxes? If you don't know where she is or what she's up to, who knows what kind of legal trouble you could find yourself in.
I file singly. She doesn't have any taxable income, so she doesn't file anyway.
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler
Feminism gave us a way out. I'm sorry men don't like that. They have to actually be nice to us now to get us to stay.
They always had to be nice--because you wouldn't have gotten involved with them in the first place if they weren't nice, would you?
Must disagree, it seems it has given you a very bad attitude. Marriage does not equal slavery. Your grandmother made a poor choice when she selected a spouse, but that doesn't mean that marriage per se is bad or that a wife per se is a slave.
It's not up to a man to "get us to stay" by being nice. (Nor, for an example I hear from the other side, is it up to a woman to be sexually satisfying to get him to stay or not stray.) A marriage is a partnership and it is up to both parties to make things work and create a happy, healthy loving environment.
Having a way out is important. But you have taken this beyond having the ability to leave a bad situation, and have happily entered into territory in which men are the enemy who are trying to enslave women. And that is one example of how feminism has failed us. There's no happy middle anymore - a man is either thoroughly emasculated by his woman, or he is trying to enslave her.
Marriage doesn't equal slavery anymore because of feminism. Now we stay married because it's what we want not what we have to do. My grandmother had to have a husband to support her. I don't. That means I'm in my relationship because I want to be not because I have to be. I think that is a major improvement over my grandmother's day.
Today, if you don't want a relationship, don't have one and you don't have to stay in a bad one. My grandmother used to tell me that the reason women live longer than men was that God was trying to make up for us having to put up with them. Many women in her generation were miserable in their marriages but had no choice but to stay.
I never said men were trying to enslave women today. Thanks to feminsim, those days are over. Women were no better than men's slaves in the past. Men can't get away with that now. We leave if they try. I think that is a good thing. God didn't intend for women to be men's property.
I'm sure men don't like the new game. They lost their power as all who abuse power eventually do. Sadly, had men treated women well, we never would have needed feminism. It's sad that we had to fight for rights and laws against abuse. I'm glad my daughters are growing up in a post feminsm world. I'm glad they will be free to leave if they marry a jerk.
While the divorce rate is high today, that doesn't mean marriages were happy in the past. People just didn't have a choice. Women, like my gradnmother just held it inside until it snapped at her husband's funeral. I think there were some very unhappy people stuck in relationships they didn't want to be in back then. The fact they can now get out is something to be celebrated.
They always had to be nice--because you wouldn't have gotten involved with them in the first place if they weren't nice, would you?
But they didn't have to stay nice. They only had to be nice long enough to get her to say I do. Then they could, and often did, whatever they wanted. Men wanted wives to clean their houses, do their laundry and raise their kids but what did women get out of that deal?
My husband just asked what I wanted for dinner. I like my life. My grandfather never would have cooked for my grandmother. She was his cook.
Nope. I'm just glad I live in a day and age when I don't have to stay in a miserable marriage because of financial necessity. I'm glad I can support myself. I'm glad relationships go two ways now. Unfortunately, requiring men to actually work on their relationships has resulted in a higher divorce rate but that's a small price to pay next to what women paid in the past.
Marriage doesn't equal slavery anymore because of feminism. Now we stay married because it's what we want not what we have to do. My grandmother had to have a husband to support her. I don't. That means I'm in my relationship because I want to be not because I have to be. I think that is a major improvement over my grandmother's day.
Today, if you don't want a relationship, don't have one and you don't have to stay in a bad one. My grandmother used to tell me that the reason women live longer than men was that God was trying to make up for us having to put up with them. Many women in her generation were miserable in their marriages but had no choice but to stay.
I never said men were trying to enslave women today. Thanks to feminsim, those days are over. Women were no better than men's slaves in the past. Men can't get away with that now. We leave if they try. I think that is a good thing. God didn't intend for women to be men's property.
I'm sure men don't like the new game. They lost their power as all who abuse power eventually do. Sadly, had men treated women well, we never would have needed feminism. It's sad that we had to fight for rights and laws against abuse. I'm glad my daughters are growing up in a post feminsm world. I'm glad they will be free to leave if they marry a jerk.
While the divorce rate is high today, that doesn't mean marriages were happy in the past. People just didn't have a choice. Women, like my gradnmother just held it inside until it snapped at her husband's funeral. I think there were some very unhappy people stuck in relationships they didn't want to be in back then. The fact they can now get out is something to be celebrated.
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Yes, that really ruined relationships for you guys. 
