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Why does it matter to you anyway? You're not marrying me. I'm not basing my whole value on cooking and cleaning. I know that there are other things in a relationship that make it work like sex, communication and trust. I just would rather be the homebody and have my husband as the provider.
Hey, if that's what works for you and your husband, that's great. It's just not an across the board rule.
If I find the right man who would love me and support me and accept me as I am than I would be a queen. His queen.
Yes it is required! That's what a wife is suppose to do. I wouldn't mind doing those things for a man I love and care about. I like cooking and keeping a tidy house.I don't know too many men who will marry a woman who is an awful cook.
Just curious, what if it does not work out that way? What if it starts out like you want, but goes down hill after marriage? I ask because due to the nature of my work I hear a lot of stories about marriages that started out with that dynamic, but 2-5 years down the road have ended in a train wreck, because a series of things just did not go as planned.
Why does it matter to you anyway? You're not marrying me. I'm not basing my whole value on cooking and cleaning. I know that there are other things in a relationship that make it work like sex, communication and trust. I just would rather be the homebody and have my husband as the provider.
So, what happens if he leaves you for another woman? Or just plain leaves you? You have no career, limited education and experience and virtually no way of supporting yourself. What then?
Me and my boyfriend have a very loving relationship....but in the end I support myself and only myself.
In the end I think it is about choice and the issues that are created by women having choices. Prior to the 1960-1970s and especially prior to the 1930s divorces were much harder for women to get for numerous reasons, not the least of which was that educational and employment opportunities were so limited that often a woman living on her own could not easily support herself. Additionally, custody/visitation rules were much more favorable to men at that time, as such, a great deal of women were stuck in abusive or otherwise bad relationships. Even today these concerns remain real, but divorce is more accessible and one has to ask are higher divorce rates, because there are more bad relationships today or because it is easier to get out of bad relationships today? The same principle applies to single mothers, it is more common today, but is that because of a decline in morality or is it because women and their children are more able to get out of those bad/abusive relationships. If we look back to the dawn of the 20th century one of the central causes of the woman's rights movement was prohibition. This was because at the time there was a social epidemic of women and children being stuck in families with an alcoholic bread winner who would drink his paycheck leaving them to face eviction or worse. For many of these women, there was no choice of leaving their alcoholic spouses, because if they left that relationship they would likely end up in the street for lack of opportunities. Also at the dawn of the 20th century a central impetus for creating social security came from the fact that women and their children, after the death of their spouse, particularly in mining and industrial areas, often faced horrible, grinding poverty. This was because they lacked the access to education and employment they needed to support themselves after being widowed. While the 19th and early 20th century virtues of chivalry and the "cult of domesticity" were promoted, particularly among the upper classes, when one scratches the surface to see how many people really lived in the 19th and early 20th century one sees the problems that arose from women lacking the choice for independence. As was often the case, women were financially dependent on their spouses and fathers and if those spouses and fathers died tragic early deaths, were alcoholics, abusers, or just general bums/losers there was very little viable recourse for the women trapped in those relationships.
While in some ways it can be argued that previously there was less divorce, fewer children born out of wedlock, fewer men facing ruin on the steps of the court house, on the same token it can be argued many things have improved because of improved access to education and employment opportunities feminism has helped to bring about.
Hey great post, I'm wondering something though, what about the significance of "attitude". The attitude of both men and women relative to each other in the 20's-40's was almost heartbreaking beautiful. (and the digression continues - today)
Not just in those classic films that will "never" be reproduced but in History we find a marked difference in attitude between the sex's.
Is progress in acknowledged area's large enough to subtract the attitude
of subject matter ? Of course not. The problem we have at the foundation of expectation is....attitude ( generally speaking of course) Just covering possible examples of History's bad examples in these times
You still didn't answer my question. I've always disliked the whole "treat me like a queen/princess" mentality because often those girls are completely vapid and self-absorbed. I'm not saying that you are either of those things, but it is just a common reoccurrence.
You enjoy cooking and cleaning. That's your thing - I get that. However, I disagree that those are what a wife is supposed to do. What if the wife has a career and doesn't have the time? Cooking and cleaning are not mandatory items on the "good wife" checklist. Loving your husband and being there for him is.
I going to have a career, but I'm probably going to be doing half of my work at home. There's always time for a man. Of course I'm going to love and support my husband why else would I marry him?
So, what happens if he leaves you for another woman? Or just plain leaves you? You have no career, limited education and experience and virtually no way of supporting yourself. What then?
Me and my boyfriend have a very loving relationship....but in the end I support myself and only myself.
If he is my true love he would never leave me. He a man truky loves he will stay.
I'm in school right now. I'm getting my degree. I'm not going to just get married like that. I'm going to wait a few years because I have a career too. My mom told me to always keep extra money for yourself and I'm gonna do that.
Just curious, what if it does not work out that way? What if it starts out like you want, but goes down hill after marriage? I ask because due to the nature of my work I hear a lot of stories about marriages that started out with that dynamic, but 2-5 years down the road have ended in a train wreck, because a series of things just did not go as planned.
If it didn't go how it was planned than there is always someone else.
Cooking and cleaning is a red herring. Its the children and especially young children. Neither men or day care really add up to a good mother.
Though I really wish cooking and cleaning were not so despised. As I have said before, a woman who does not cook means she is eating out or microwaving a frozen dinner. The results are usually going to be a disaster.I am happy to do much of the cooking anyway.
Hey great post, I'm wondering something though, what about the significance of "attitude". The attitude of both men and women relative to each other in the 20's-40's was almost heartbreaking beautiful. (and the digression continues - today)
Not just in those classic films that will "never" be reproduced but in History we find a marked difference in attitude between the sex's.
Is progress in acknowledged area's large enough to subtract the attitude
of subject matter ? Of course not. The problem we have at the foundation of expectation is....attitude ( generally speaking of course) Just covering possible examples of History's bad examples in these times
I did study American film prior to 1945, and have to say I am a fan of Capra so I understand what you mean about that attitude in film. In reality however, I am not sure I have an answer for you. I just do not know enough about attitudes overall and how they have changed since the early 20th century.
If it didn't go how it was planned than there is always someone else.
So you would divorce them?
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It's just not an across the board rule.
