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Old 01-14-2010, 10:19 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,574 posts, read 3,839,938 times
Reputation: 6094
Ah, your words are wise, however, in the grander scheme of things, 10 pounds is hardly clinically obese ?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
In this age, men under 30 predominantly find overweight women unattractive.
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Old 01-14-2010, 10:28 AM
 
7,365 posts, read 7,609,534 times
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In this age, men under 30 predominantly find overweight women unattractive.
That may be true, but the OP isn't overweight. She weighs 10 pounds more than she did when he thought she looked fine. It's obviously his problem, not hers.

That's just fact. Because there are tons of women who take care of how they look and watch what they eat. It's always a scenario of comparison between the fit and overweight ones; and the excessive amount of TV and movies. Considering the person in question being 22, it's just the zing thing to dig for women who appear like models.

It's only the pops and grandpops in the 40s and 50s who come down to earth after a string of dating failures thru the 30s, and finally desperate to grab anything that walks and fall in love, before entering retirement homes.[/QUOTE] So not true. My husband was 26 when we met. I, too, lived at the gym in those days. Now it's 14 years later, I've had a baby and gained a few pounds althought I still w/o. He's not kicking me to the curb because I weigh 15 *gasp* pounds more than I did then. Instead, he tells me I was too thin then and look better now. That's how a kind, considerate, heterosexual man treats a woman he loves.
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Old 01-14-2010, 10:33 AM
 
Location: Oxford, England
13,039 posts, read 14,644,198 times
Reputation: 19363
Lose the loser. He obviously does not love you. Sorry if this sounds harsh but when you love someone 10lbs is not going to change the way you feel about them. Imagine if you got ill or pregnant and then gained a lot of weight ....

He sounds like a real charmer. Life's too short. Show him the door. If YOU are not happy with the extra weight then by all means lose it , but it should be YOUR decision alone not being pressured by a shallow jerk .

You deserve better than this. Run as fast as you can , there are plenty of good men out there who would be delighted to love you as you need to be.
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Old 01-14-2010, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 13,481,046 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobman View Post
Ah, your words are wise, however, in the grander scheme of things, 10 pounds is hardly clinically obese ?
I have to agree. It's not even visible on the outside, unless the woman's naked. A little flesh makes some women more attractive even.

But let me tell you the general tendency of a majority of young men. They always dream of the Eva Mendes, Jennifer Garner types. I have this friend who works out with me. He weighs more but he's not obese. He looks fine but a little chubby with his torso. But huge muscles.

He kept telling me he's worried coz his girlfriend had gotten fat. He used the word "fat" always, and I was imagining a big woman. I finally met her once and she just looked fine, except the normal curves which many women have.

I asked him later and he still opined he'd be glad if she lost 25 pounds.

Many men don't consider themselves fat even though they can be clinically fat like this guy here. But they definitely consider 15 to 20 pounds on women as solid fat. It just is mindset in these times.
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Old 01-14-2010, 10:44 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 13,481,046 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow View Post
In this age, men under 30 predominantly find overweight women unattractive.
That may be true, but the OP isn't overweight. She weighs 10 pounds more than she did when he thought she looked fine. It's obviously his problem, not hers.

That's just fact. Because there are tons of women who take care of how they look and watch what they eat. It's always a scenario of comparison between the fit and overweight ones; and the excessive amount of TV and movies. Considering the person in question being 22, it's just the zing thing to dig for women who appear like models.

It's only the pops and grandpops in the 40s and 50s who come down to earth after a string of dating failures thru the 30s, and finally desperate to grab anything that walks and fall in love, before entering retirement homes.[/QUOTE] So not true. My husband was 26 when we met. I, too, lived at the gym in those days. Now it's 14 years later, I've had a baby and gained a few pounds althought I still w/o. He's not kicking me to the curb because I weigh 15 *gasp* pounds more than I did then. Instead, he tells me I was too thin then and look better now. That's how a kind, considerate, heterosexual man treats a woman he loves.
So he's 40 now? You found a man from the age of real men. The adult men from yesteryears tend to be wiser. That generation is definitely gone.

The fashion industry underwent radical changes in the 90s and the noughties, it's been taken over by the gay men and their agenda has successfully been imbibed into the young men of this generation.
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Old 01-14-2010, 10:48 AM
 
95 posts, read 130,300 times
Reputation: 140
OP how tall are you?
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Old 01-14-2010, 10:48 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,574 posts, read 3,839,938 times
Reputation: 6094
Again, you are correct, i don't want to come across as one of those guys who's all "huh, youngsters today", but my perception is that there is a very superficial generation of men and women out there.

Freedom of expression and thought is good, but too much is dangerous.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
So he's 40 now? You found a man from the age of real men. The adult men from yesteryears tend to be wiser. That generation is definitely gone.

The fashion industry underwent radical changes in the 90s and the noughties, it's been taken over by the gay men and their agenda has successfully been imbibed into the young men of this generation.
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Old 01-14-2010, 11:05 AM
 
437 posts, read 396,042 times
Reputation: 347
The man knows what he wants. Either give it to him or move on.

It's simple, really.

Anyway, I *like* that he's holding you to a standard. That's just me though- I've been accused of being shallow.
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Old 01-14-2010, 11:09 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,574 posts, read 3,839,938 times
Reputation: 6094
No, you don't say !............

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ameiko View Post
That's just me though- I've been accused of being shallow.
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:29 PM
 
7,365 posts, read 7,609,534 times
Reputation: 10609
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
So he's 40 now? You found a man from the age of real men. The adult men from yesteryears tend to be wiser. That generation is definitely gone.

The fashion industry underwent radical changes in the 90s and the noughties, it's been taken over by the gay men and their agenda has successfully been imbibed into the young men of this generation.
Well, I'll defer to you on this one based on our respective ages. Glad I'm not 20 anymore.
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