U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
 
Old 01-14-2010, 12:50 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
6,766 posts, read 7,211,676 times
Reputation: 6282
Quote:
Originally Posted by mehhh View Post
OP how tall are you?
I already asked her. She's 5'5.
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-14-2010, 12:53 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 9,338,149 times
Reputation: 7860
Quote:
Originally Posted by Omgwtfbbq View Post
When we started dating I was either in the gym or at school. I was 135lbs. I am now 145lbs and work full time with a side job. apparently this weight gain is so much that be isn't attracted to me anymore. He still loves me like before, bu how can I really have a relationship with him without sex? My sex drive is much bigger than his. When I try to initiate, he's too busy. When he initiates it happens (obviously). The last two times we had sex were within the last two months and he never finished with me. On top of hardly ever having sex, now I'm not even getting the benefit. What is his problem? Will it REALLY be solved by 10 lbs? What happens when I get pregnant or age?
That sucks. I have a bad feeling that he is possibly banging somebody else.

I would show him the door if I was you. 10 lbs is nothing. If that's all it takes for him to get turned off, he is not worth the trouble.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-14-2010, 01:08 PM
 
12,347 posts, read 7,535,338 times
Reputation: 4535
Quote:
Originally Posted by Omgwtfbbq View Post
When we started dating I was either in the gym or at school. I was 135lbs. I am now 145lbs and work full time with a side job. apparently this weight gain is so much that be isn't attracted to me anymore. He still loves me like before, bu how can I really have a relationship with him without sex? My sex drive is much bigger than his. When I try to initiate, he's too busy. When he initiates it happens (obviously). The last two times we had sex were within the last two months and he never finished with me. On top of hardly ever having sex, now I'm not even getting the benefit. What is his problem? Will it REALLY be solved by 10 lbs? What happens when I get pregnant or age?
Hi Omgwtfbbq,

There is a gray area here. If you were also working out that 10lbs may only be a superficial figure. You may have also lost lean tissue for fat tissue meaning it may be a 20lbs differential.

Now my wife in in her 3rd trimester and certainly she is not shaped the same way. Does it bother me? Not really other than it takes more planing and she is unwieldy. Will age matter? I suppose in some way but I am aging as well and I don't view that in the same way. I certainly value her more than just her appearance not related to any voluntary act of hers.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-14-2010, 01:12 PM
 
12,347 posts, read 7,535,338 times
Reputation: 4535
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
That sucks. I have a bad feeling that he is possibly banging somebody else.

I would show him the door if I was you. 10 lbs is nothing. If that's all it takes for him to get turned off, he is not worth the trouble.
Hi max's mama,


That is a good point to suspect BTW. He very well could be satisfying himself in some other way and not necessarily just another woman.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-14-2010, 01:22 PM
 
7,086 posts, read 6,823,153 times
Reputation: 6374
Quote:
Originally Posted by Omgwtfbbq View Post
When we started dating I was either in the gym or at school. I was 135lbs. I am now 145lbs and work full time with a side job. apparently this weight gain is so much that be isn't attracted to me anymore. He still loves me like before, bu how can I really have a relationship with him without sex? My sex drive is much bigger than his. When I try to initiate, he's too busy. When he initiates it happens (obviously). The last two times we had sex were within the last two months and he never finished with me. On top of hardly ever having sex, now I'm not even getting the benefit. What is his problem? Will it REALLY be solved by 10 lbs? What happens when I get pregnant or age?
Maybe he is testing you? I mean 10lbs could turn into 50lbs. He sees you not doing anything about your weight. Maybe he thinking long term. He sees you married 20 years down the road, your 250lbs and stealing his lunches from the refrigerator and blaming it on the dog.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-14-2010, 01:23 PM
 
12,347 posts, read 7,535,338 times
Reputation: 4535
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
So he's 40 now? You found a man from the age of real men. The adult men from yesteryears tend to be wiser. That generation is definitely gone.

The fashion industry underwent radical changes in the 90s and the noughties, it's been taken over by the gay men and their agenda has successfully been imbibed into the young men of this generation.

Hi AC,

Sorry to disagree with you on this but heterosexual men don't care about the fashion industry. Excluding love, basic attraction subject to variability is a matter of hip to waste ratio almost universally. Her height and weight tells me almost nothing about just basic physical attraction subject to variability. If she has little to no visible waist, then sexual attraction is likely to be less. Now again, there are times in my life where I only lost 10lbs but that did not account for gaining muscle weight meaning there was a 25lb loss of fat.

That is not to say that this guy is necessarily cut out for a serious relationship. Its hard to say. We are not always in peak condition and its often a gray area between abusing one's loyalty verse unreasonable or inflexible conditions of loyalty.

Last edited by gwynedd1; 01-14-2010 at 01:50 PM..
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-14-2010, 01:42 PM
 
Location: USA
8 posts, read 10,386 times
Reputation: 23
Anyone consider low libido?
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-14-2010, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
7,385 posts, read 13,002,805 times
Reputation: 8362
There's more afoot here than you gaining 10lbs. Your weight issue rules over the relationship you have been building for 5 years? 10lbs is that important to him? Yes, he has issues you don't know about.

What WILL happen when you have kids or age? Believe me, at least one of those two things will happen. Guaranteed!
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-14-2010, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
1,344 posts, read 884,989 times
Reputation: 2771
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2RUGGED4YOU View Post
LMAO.......

HAHAHA -- "You VILL respect ma authorita"...HAHAHA
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-14-2010, 02:01 PM
 
Location: Amarillo, Tx
622 posts, read 660,296 times
Reputation: 648
As a guy it sounds like hes doin someone else. Could be wrong. But 10 lbs isnt much. So I would investigate.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $79,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top