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Old 03-21-2010, 09:22 PM
 
26,261 posts, read 21,375,834 times
Reputation: 7278
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nutz76 View Post
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess it's things like the part in red that is making women avoid you.

  • Fitness
  • Presentation
  • Self-worth/Confidence

If you can get a handle on those then you'll see some changes for the better. Perception is reality and you have some level of control over how others perceive you. Stomping your feet because people won't accept your eccentricities is just a waste of energy. Eventually you *might* stumble onto a woman that is into that sense of style, or sees past it, but you can greatly improve your odds with a little self-improvement. Again, fashion and fitness with some positive reinforcement to get some confidence will do you much more good than sitting around waving your pity party flag.
Personally I don't know how my fitness is a bad thing. I work out, I am in good shape, and I have a compact, athletic build. I don't see anything wrong with that.
What do you mean by presentation. Most of the time, I don't know what other people think of me when they see me based on appearances, at least at first glance.
Self-worth/confidence, well, I think of myself in a good like. I like the little things about me and I am not ashamed of them. I just don't like feeling lonely.

For the most part, much of what you are talking about, well, I don't mention this to most people in public. I only mention it to a few people. Most of the time, I keep it to myself or mention it here.
My fashion, well, for my personal tastes, I don't see anything wrong with my own fashion. If a certain woman doesn't like it, well, then that is her fault.

 
Old 03-21-2010, 09:52 PM
 
9,694 posts, read 11,824,392 times
Reputation: 7045
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nutz76 View Post
And feminists know this. Why do you think they got IMBRA passed. It was a quick way of shoring up their hold on western men, never mind the fact the stats they used to get the law passed was half-baked at best.

International Marriage Broker Regulation Act - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Feminists now only have to worry about competing with 2 women, ever, should men start looking abroad. Notice that the limit to 2 fiancé visa has nothing to do with international brokers. If you travel abroad and get engaged, you've only got 2 shots and bringing the women over.
Hey who said anything about actually getting married?
 
Old 03-21-2010, 10:04 PM
 
9,694 posts, read 11,824,392 times
Reputation: 7045
Quote:
Originally Posted by pirate_lafitte View Post
This is the thing: I can usually hold a conversation with a person if it is one on one. If it is a large group of people, or the club scene, I have a much harder time.
I am much the same. I don't like large groups of people, noisy bars, clubs, etc. or cocktail party BSing. Just isn't me.

So knowing that I find other like minded people that like small group dinners or activities that don't involve barfing on sidewalks. I play to my strengths and don't bother with things I don't like. I don't like clubs and bars so I avoid them and find something else to do. And there are plenty of women that don't like that crap either.

I recognized after college I was someone with tons of book smarts but not a lot of street smarts. So I got a job, not hiding in a cubicle, but out in the world, in a tough customer service job that put me in with a lot of people and also in a brand new place with new people.

That's why, if I was you, I'd go do something interesting like work in a ski town or beach town or whatever. Something different and off track from everything else you have ever done. You have to find a way to work on your skills and if you ever want to meet a lot of women and get to know them in more ways than one, then you have to learn via experience.
 
Old 03-21-2010, 10:58 PM
 
4,838 posts, read 4,950,028 times
Reputation: 2893
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nutz76 View Post
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess it's things like the part in red that is making women avoid you.

  • Fitness
  • Presentation
  • Self-worth/Confidence

If you can get a handle on those then you'll see some changes for the better. Perception is reality and you have some level of control over how others perceive you. Stomping your feet because people won't accept your eccentricities is just a waste of energy. Eventually you *might* stumble onto a woman that is into that sense of style, or sees past it, but you can greatly improve your odds with a little self-improvement. Again, fashion and fitness with some positive reinforcement to get some confidence will do you much more good than sitting around waving your pity party flag.
Your analysis is too one-dimensional. There are three elements to “what women want”. These are desires, needs and expectations. Since you only dealt with the first, I will limit my comment to that.

For most women, their desires are not that different from men’s, but subtlety different. There are three main things they desire but they are often unwilling to come out and clearly state the first two of them, because in context of the feminist movement, it puts them in a less than flattering light.

Like men, women value physical appearance. However they are willing to compromise somewhat for someone who excels in the other areas.

Women also want (at least the appearance of) financial success in a man, although this varies considerably by the class of woman you are dealing with and their perceived bargaining position. Women usually demand much more financially from a man than they offer in return, but they are often conned, too.

Unlike the above two, the third attribute is often stated and demanded quite emphatically – they want a man with “confidence”! However, this is not the dictionary definition. What they are describing a man who has enough experience and success with women that he exudes a cockiness that puts them on the defensive. Upon experiencing this, they know that they have a man who has been vetted by other women and is in demand by them. This makes him very attractive and they don’t want to be embarrassed, by losing him too easily.



The above will get a man to third base. Getting home, is not that difficult after that. However, as in baseball, few hit triples.
 
Old 03-21-2010, 11:27 PM
 
26,261 posts, read 21,375,834 times
Reputation: 7278
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanneroo View Post
I am much the same. I don't like large groups of people, noisy bars, clubs, etc. or cocktail party BSing. Just isn't me.

So knowing that I find other like minded people that like small group dinners or activities that don't involve barfing on sidewalks. I play to my strengths and don't bother with things I don't like. I don't like clubs and bars so I avoid them and find something else to do. And there are plenty of women that don't like that crap either.

I recognized after college I was someone with tons of book smarts but not a lot of street smarts. So I got a job, not hiding in a cubicle, but out in the world, in a tough customer service job that put me in with a lot of people and also in a brand new place with new people.

That's why, if I was you, I'd go do something interesting like work in a ski town or beach town or whatever. Something different and off track from everything else you have ever done. You have to find a way to work on your skills and if you ever want to meet a lot of women and get to know them in more ways than one, then you have to learn via experience.
Normally, I never go to clubs, but a friend of mine is a club promoter and I get in free. I actually never set foot inside of the club until I was 23(I turn 24 on April 28). I would go to hang out with a few of my friends, but ended up wanted to go home. For that reason, I usually don't do clubs, unless it is some big thing. I never drink when I go to clubs. The places I am the most at ease in are coffee shops and bookstores. My idea of a night out is a few friends gathered at some coffeehouse or outside eating, talking, or something else that doesn't involve vomiting on the sidewalk.

This is why large crowds usually scare me. I am passionate about the things I think and believe. I don't like my voice being drowned out by the group dynamic. Usually, I end up walking off because anything I want to say, I can't because everyone else is on a different subject.

As for finding a job, well, I have worked customer service jobs before. My major, however, is Geographic Information Science. I have never worked a job that had anything to do with my major, so that might be a start. I have always wanted to travel, so maybe I might meet a woman that way, through any travels I do. I am trying to pursue getting a girlfriend again.
 
Old 03-21-2010, 11:28 PM
 
4,838 posts, read 4,950,028 times
Reputation: 2893
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Man in SATX View Post
I hate to say this.. but I am content to grow old alone.. if you look at some of the prospects that are out there.. no thanks . I am a male that knows how to cook and clean and do things on my own. But I want someone that is willing to do the same for me as I am willing to do for them. Most of the women that I talk to these days cant even boil water... to answer that question.. why I don't pursue them? Normally you pursue to gain something.. but it seems that these days you wont gain anything but more luggage and someone to complain to you that they are tired from working all day and not helping out with anything in the house.. no thanks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by brooklynight View Post
Pretty much how I feel.
I certainly have no "fear" of this. Women are another story, however.

Getting into a good relationship would be worth the risk, but the possibility this become increasingly rare as one ages. Women try to blame men for nearly all the problems causing divorce but the sad fact is, women who make good marriage prospects rarely end up divorced. In most dysfunctional marriages that end up in divorce, there are two sides to the story with plenty of fault to go around.
 
Old 03-22-2010, 01:29 PM
 
Location: Texas
2,170 posts, read 4,495,502 times
Reputation: 1308
Quote:
Originally Posted by NotARedneck View Post
I certainly have no "fear" of this. Women are another story, however.

Getting into a good relationship would be worth the risk, but the possibility this become increasingly rare as one ages. Women try to blame men for nearly all the problems causing divorce but the sad fact is, women who make good marriage prospects rarely end up divorced. In most dysfunctional marriages that end up in divorce, there are two sides to the story with plenty of fault to go around.
Actually, they dont "try" to blame.. they normally do blame men for all the problems. You are right... there are always two sides to this story and usually the man holds the bag of blame when it comes down to it.. I know that I have my faults.. but sometimes it is nice to know that she has faults also.. or at least own up to them instead of trying to push them off on me. I guess that is why I will probably stay single for the rest of my life..

I am not willing to take someone telling me that I am the cause of everything that happens.. especially when I know that both of us were actually the problem..
 
Old 03-22-2010, 02:52 PM
 
2,419 posts, read 2,348,078 times
Reputation: 1763
I dont pursue women becasue im not desirable to them..When women say Men should pursue they mean the 5 to 10% women are actually attracted to..

Someone like me approaches and im just a nusiance..
 
Old 03-22-2010, 04:30 PM
 
26,261 posts, read 21,375,834 times
Reputation: 7278
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
I dont pursue women becasue im not desirable to them..When women say Men should pursue they mean the 5 to 10% women are actually attracted to..

Someone like me approaches and im just a nusiance..
How would you not be desirable to women?
 
Old 03-22-2010, 04:35 PM
 
2,419 posts, read 2,348,078 times
Reputation: 1763
Quote:
Originally Posted by pirate_lafitte View Post
How would you not be desirable to women?
Im not good looking
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