Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It is abuse. There is a difference between taking time to cool off and punishing someone by withholding communication and affection. It is cruel.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jays1983
Oh no, the silent treatment? I would call the authorities.
I'm pretty sure my ex would give me the silent treatment at least once a week. It's not abuse, it's lack of communication.
You either don't know the difference or think it is normal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jays1983
Well if this guy isn't willing to communicate when he's mad, then it may be time for you to consider alternative options.
You don't constantly nag him for no apparent reason, do ya?
If you were to actually read her statement, she is expressing an apprehension to communicate due to his inability to do so in a productive manner. Of course, she could say nothing and not "nag" at all.
The silent treatment is a manipulative tactic. It has been used on me to try to make me do what they wish. I have been made to beleive that he is right and my reaction to him was wrong. Therefore I was the one that needed to improve. But its bulls*it. The guy is holding all his cards close to him to use against you no matter what. Your feelings, are of no importance to him. Only his feelings matter to him.
Manipulation could be misconstrued . If somebody's silent treatment MAKES you do what they wish, you are a puppet, walk away. I wouldn't go as far as saying that her feelings are of no importance, and you shouldn't view it as a dominance issue. reactions are natural but they can also cause blockage in communication. His silence is is a reflection of feeling trapped and you just crapped on that, this woman loves this guy if she didn't she wouldn't be there. Turning the situation around or looking for a negative answer that fits is not going to find an ideal solution for the 2 of them, just one. It's about approach, patience, reaction without elevation, and suppressing but not ignoring your feelings, this is equally a challenge for both parties I'm sure of it. Think peacefully, act peacefully, and live peacefully- I hate negative suggestions.
If you were to actually read her statement, she is expressing an apprehension to communicate due to his inability to do so in a productive manner. Of course, she could say nothing and not "nag" at all.
Actually, I DID read her statement. But there are always two sides to every story. Maybe her perception of the situation is not fully correct, that does happen quite often.
I have seen people distance themselves from the significant other as a result of constant petty nagging. (my Grandpa and Grandma are a classic case) That is why I asked the question.
I do appreciate your instant assumption that I either can't comprehend the situation or decided not to read it though.
Manipulation could be misconstrued . If somebody's silent treatment MAKES you do what they wish, you are a puppet, walk away. I wouldn't go as far as saying that her feelings are of no importance, and you shouldn't view it as a dominance issue. reactions are natural but they can also cause blockage in communication. His silence is is a reflection of feeling trapped and you just crapped on that, this woman loves this guy if she didn't she wouldn't be there. Turning the situation around or looking for a negative answer that fits is not going to find an ideal solution for the 2 of them, just one. It's about approach, patience, reaction without elevation, and suppressing but not ignoring your feelings, this is equally a challenge for both parties I'm sure of it. Think peacefully, act peacefully, and live peacefully- I hate negative suggestions.
Sounds beautiful and fluffy, very kumbaya, but it is not realistic. If it is a "dominance issue" then you should view it as such. Women (and men) don't always stay because of love or because the relationship is healthy. You have to know the difference.
Even if the silent treatment doesn't MAKE you do what they wish, THEIR intent is to get you to do what they want. How you respond doesn't change that reality.
Actually, I DID read her statement. But there are always two sides to every story. Maybe her perception of the situation is not fully correct, that does happen quite often.
I have seen people distance themselves from the significant other as a result of constant petty nagging. (my Grandpa and Grandma are a classic case) That is why I asked the question.
I do appreciate your instant assumption that I either can't comprehend the situation or decided not to read it though.
It is abuse. There is a difference between taking time to cool off and punishing someone by withholding communication and affection. It is cruel.
You either don't know the difference or think it is normal.
If you were to actually read her statement, she is expressing an apprehension to communicate due to his inability to do so in a productive manner. Of course, she could say nothing and not "nag" at all.
I was about to say. Cooling off is one thing and sometimes its prudent to keep things from escalating.
I also concur that withholding communications and affections out of anger or spite is foolish and unhealthy and detrimental.
Manipulation could be misconstrued . If somebody's silent treatment MAKES you do what they wish, you are a puppet, walk away. I wouldn't go as far as saying that her feelings are of no importance, and you shouldn't view it as a dominance issue. reactions are natural but they can also cause blockage in communication. His silence is is a reflection of feeling trapped and you just crapped on that, this woman loves this guy if she didn't she wouldn't be there. Turning the situation around or looking for a negative answer that fits is not going to find an ideal solution for the 2 of them, just one. It's about approach, patience, reaction without elevation, and suppressing but not ignoring your feelings, this is equally a challenge for both parties I'm sure of it. Think peacefully, act peacefully, and live peacefully- I hate negative suggestions.
I don't agree with everything you say, but I do agree that my answer was a bit too negative based on my own personal history.I realized it as soon as she answered, actually. For her, I would suggest that she not let him suck her into a weak position and to not apologize for her reactions, because that is just what he is looking for. I suggest she wait for him to come around on his own, or let the relationship go completely, but don't give in to his tactic. Seeing his tactic doesn't work will build conflict, but it will help the comminication start flowing without her subjugating herself to the humiliation of apologizing.
Thanks, now where is the eyeroll face thingy again??? Oh here it is
Now you're dismissing me. Abusive.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
manipulation
