Problem with sexual attraction to spouse - Has anyone else dealt with this? (men, attracted)
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For all the fracas, why can't the women hit the gym??
A lot of divorces and infidelity can be prevented if only they can hit the gym regularly
Yeah, well in my case it's the other way around. I look better, weigh less, have more muscle tone, than I did when we got married. My husband on the other hand....let's just say he ought to keep a t-shirt on at the beach. But he doesn't. And yeah, it's not helping our relationship, for sure.
So, sometimes the men turn into couch potatoes, and the women hit the gym. Everyone has their own idea of how comfortable they should be with their body, and whether they need to change things or not. For me, I'm not comfortable if I gain a few lbs. For dh....he just doesn't care, doesn't think about it.
Like others have mentioned, make it a team effort. Offer to go for walks with her, start switching to healthy meals and snacks together, encourage her to be more active "with" you...go bike riding, hiking, swimming, jogging or whatever. Start out with something easy so she and you do not get discouraged. After dinner walks are a good start.
A little off topic, but have you ever noticed how someone who is newly divorced will run right out and get a gym membership so they can lose weight, tone up, get in shape, start grooming themselves better, and take better care of their appearance overall? I sometimes wonder why these same folks didn't bother to do that while they were still married. It's important to look good for your partner and to not let yourself go. Aside from the obvious health concerns, you want to remain attractive in your partner's eyes.
For all the fracas, why can't the women hit the gym??
A lot of divorces and infidelity can be prevented if only they can hit the gym regularly
For one... not everyone likes gyms. I work out at home and in the spring and summer I get outside. For two.. not everybody can afford or has time for them either. For three.. maybe she is fine with the way she is and thinks her husband is too?
OP... have you thought of making it out like YOU are the one wanting to get in shape and would love having a partner and ask her if she would join you? Tell her that it would motivate you more to have someone doing it with you.
Like others have mentioned, make it a team effort. Offer to go for walks with her, start switching to healthy meals and snacks together, encourage her to be more active "with" you...go bike riding, hiking, swimming, jogging or whatever. Start out with something easy so she and you do not get discouraged. After dinner walks are a good start.
And if she does express an interest in fitness, offer to be home early a few nights a week so that she can sign up for that aerobics class or take the kids out so that she can do yoga at home, whatever she needs.
AC, are you trying to get yourself pelted with virtual fruit?
Possibly, YF
But I see these zillion threads on C/D about weight issues. And the zillion cases in offline life too.
I mean, a day has 24 hours. An hour at the gym and taking care of oneself solves so many marital/relationship problems. This weight thing is a bone of contention almost everywhere.
So, why not fix it?? It just needs some can-do attitude The positive results are way too many in return for some sweat. On the other hand, look at all the mental/psychological problems these people have. At some point, people gotta stand up and fix themselves. Don't we all love solutions??
But I see these zillion threads on C/D about weight issues. And the zillion cases in offline life too.
I mean, a day has 24 hours. An hour at the gym and taking care of oneself solves so many marital/relationship problems. This weight thing is a bone of contention almost everywhere.
So, why not fix it?? It just needs some can-do attitude The positive results are way too many in return for some sweat. On the other hand, look at all the mental problems these people have. At some point, people gotta stand up and fix themselves. Don't we all love solutions??
It would be great if all women could GET to the gym. But many work, take care of the house, and have kids. Whew...there's not much energy left in the day!!
Like others have mentioned, make it a team effort. Offer to go for walks with her, start switching to healthy meals and snacks together, encourage her to be more active "with" you...go bike riding, hiking, swimming, jogging or whatever. Start out with something easy so she and you do not get discouraged. After dinner walks are a good start.
A little off topic, but have you ever noticed how someone who is newly divorced will run right out and get a gym membership so they can lose weight, tone up, get in shape, start grooming themselves better, and take better care of their appearance overall? I sometimes wonder why these same folks didn't bother to do that while they were still married. It's important to look good for your partner and to not let yourself go. Aside from the obvious health concerns, you want to remain attractive in your partner's eyes.
VERY true. And this means that letting oneself go by getting fat or not caring about one's appearance is just a symptom of the real problem -- a lack of respect and true love for one's partner.
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