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Old 01-18-2010, 09:19 PM
 
133 posts, read 366,896 times
Reputation: 121
Default Problem with sexual attraction to spouse - Has anyone else dealt with this?

I've been married for thirteen years and have 3 wonderful kids. I love my wife very much - she is indeed my best friend.
The problem ; I have trouble being attracted to her sexually, as she has gained quite a bit of weight throughout the course of our marriage.
It still does not keep us from "relations', we still do it fairly often ( as often as a couple with three kids can expect). I just can't tell her that I have a problem with her weight. It would crush her, I think .
Has anyone else dealt with this?
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Old 01-18-2010, 09:24 PM
 
3,284 posts, read 881,736 times
Reputation: 1832
Approach it in more of a health manner, rather than, "hun, you're getting fat".

Make some lifestyle changes. Change up the dinner menu whether that means you are the one doing the cooking. Go out and get some exercise with your wife. Whatever you do, participate and help her.
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Old 01-18-2010, 09:27 PM
 
11,001 posts, read 6,583,650 times
Reputation: 8234
Everday after work, or before work, make a point of going to the park to walk. Find a big park. And go even if neither wants to go.
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Old 01-18-2010, 09:29 PM
 
17,941 posts, read 13,064,594 times
Reputation: 14824
Lifestyle and diet. Exercise and improved diet. Make it a team effort.
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Old 01-18-2010, 09:48 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 12,784,146 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by grubbyhubby View Post
I've been married for thirteen years and have 3 wonderful kids. I love my wife very much - she is indeed my best friend.
The problem ; I have trouble being attracted to her sexually, as she has gained quite a bit of weight throughout the course of our marriage.
It still does not keep us from "relations', we still do it fairly often ( as often as a couple with three kids can expect). I just can't tell her that I have a problem with her weight. It would crush her, I think .
Has anyone else dealt with this?
Oh no, not again.

Is this the new trend amongst married folks??

This is getting way too common. I could tell from the title of the thread that it's about a long time married couple having weight issues

The philanthropist that I am I'm gonna have to open a nationwide chain of wife gyms
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Old 01-18-2010, 09:51 PM
 
Location: Kentucky
6,758 posts, read 14,111,126 times
Reputation: 2006
how much weight are we talking? 5 lbs? 15? 30?
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Old 01-18-2010, 09:55 PM
 
Location: Houston, TX
1,409 posts, read 1,123,273 times
Reputation: 1456
Do NOT tell her she has gained weight...she already knows.
First- look in your own mirror. Have you gained weight? Or quit caring about your clothing or haircuts or "manscaping'?
If you start to improve your own look, she will notice and wonder what's up. If you start walking or joging everyday to improve YOURSELF and then casually ask her to join you, she might do it.
Make it fun and a way to spend time together.
(If you are not already- help with kids and/or housework....many women feel too overwhelmed to exercise.)
I am glad you have a good marriage. Treasure each other.

Last edited by vicket; 01-18-2010 at 10:33 PM..
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Old 01-19-2010, 08:57 AM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
5,079 posts, read 8,233,488 times
Reputation: 3598
I tend to agree with Vicket. Given your screen name, "Grubbyhubby", I'm not getting the warm and fuzzies that you are buff and in shape yourself.
It's true, women gain weight with pregnancy. If they are down about it,it's going to be harder to lose the weight. Be supportive, do try taking walks and see how it goes.
Maybe you both have changed.
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Old 01-19-2010, 09:39 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 12,784,146 times
Reputation: 11309
For all the fracas, why can't the women hit the gym??

A lot of divorces and infidelity can be prevented if only they can hit the gym regularly
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Old 01-19-2010, 09:45 AM
 
Location: right here!
1,058 posts, read 1,021,984 times
Reputation: 1267
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
For all the fracas, why can't the women hit the gym??

A lot of divorces and infidelity can be prevented if only they can hit the gym regularly
AC, are you trying to get yourself pelted with virtual fruit?
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